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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
nevernotstruggling · 12/01/2021 15:29

I know what the law says but if dp opens my post I would think nothing of it.

noteabagsleft · 12/01/2021 15:32

Op
Don't ever post in AIBU for something like this.

For all those focusing on the "women's" handwriting. Not sure why that's such an important point, I can usually tell whether writing is by a man or women. The actual point is why her DH received the letter, so pretty sure she wanted opinions on what the letter could mean.

OP as for the letter I have no idea whether it could be suspicious or not, but maybe try and stay calm and wait until you speak to your DH face to face, could be a completely innocent explanation. Don't panic or otherthink, you will just work yourself into a frenzy. Speak to him and see what he says or what his reaction is and take it from there.
Good luck

momtoboys · 12/01/2021 15:32

@JinglingHellsBells

15 pages and don't have the time but why *@OnSilverStars* did you open his post?

I think that is indefensible.

Can we PLEASE let go of the indignance over @onsilverstars opens her husbands mail? That is how it works in their household. It is not that unusual.
formerbabe · 12/01/2021 15:32

I hand my post over to dh to open for me...I'm petrified of officialdom and paperwork. Genuinely gives me awful anxiety and is a huge trigger for me

bobbojobbo · 12/01/2021 15:34

Exactly. Who has a photocopier lying around??

Loads of people, especially with WFH. My printer is also a scanner and photcopier, I imagine lots of people have similar.

SirVixofVixHall · 12/01/2021 15:35

@tisonlymeagain

I meant a handwritten envelope, and agree, would a JW actually write a handwritten envelope addressed to someone? Surely they'd just stick it through the door? They can't know who lives at everyone's house.
My letter from them this week was handwritten , the envelope and contents, with an explanation of why they are writing ( it is to continue their mission work in a covid safe way) . So yes they are writing letters by hand, but I really don’t think the OP’s letter is from them. I think elderly relative/acquaintance, possibly someone with mental health problems , or who simply forgot to enclose the rest of the missive.
SpudsandGravy · 12/01/2021 15:35

@JinglingHellsBells

15 pages and don't have the time but why *@OnSilverStars* did you open his post?

I think that is indefensible.

GrinGrinGrin

LaMarschallin · 12/01/2021 15:35

noteabagsleft

Op
Don't ever post in AIBU for something like this.

Stable door tightly locked and bolted.
Horse just visible bolting towards the horizon...

You're right though Smile

I've never started a thread in AIBU and I think I'm probably too much of a wimp to ever do so.

noteabagsleft · 12/01/2021 15:36

Also

Me and my husband open each other's mail, and always have done

tisonlymeagain · 12/01/2021 15:36

But wouldn't they SAY it was from them? If they don't, there's zero point to it at all...

Robbybobtail · 12/01/2021 15:38

Not rtft but yes, you can generally tell the difference between male and female writing especially when you have experience of seeing lots of different forms of handwriting.

And for those saying it's JW's - that seems so bizarre to me. I really dont think they would post such a thing, if anything it would be something related to their religion, usually hell and brimfire - and why would it have op's dh's name on it? Theyd have no way of knowing that.

Id be suspicious too op, i dont think id tell him at first but do a bit of digging.

noteabagsleft · 12/01/2021 15:38

@LaMarschallin

I have. a few times. so have experience of the vultures who will find anything to pick at, down to your punctuation if they can't find anything else.
There are the odd few supportive ones but they are few and far between

CostaDelCovid · 12/01/2021 15:40

@Bluntness100 I know he’s not cheating

No you don't. You mean you're pretty sure. You can never KNOW that 100%

DreamingInColours · 12/01/2021 15:42

How have you not WhatsApped him a screenshot with a ???! yet. You have more restraint than I do!

LunaNorth · 12/01/2021 15:43

We got a handwritten letter from the JWs a couple of weeks back.

It said they’re doing it because Covid means they’re not knocking on doors and bothering you to your face at the moment.

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/01/2021 15:44

@DreamingInColours

How have you not WhatsApped him a screenshot with a ???! yet. You have more restraint than I do!
Because PP have suggested she needs to see his face to catch the guilty look apparently
CecilyP · 12/01/2021 15:44

Just read the post that confirmed it wasn’t copied from a normal book but was notes in a spiral binder. The sort of thing that students might get handed out if they were studying the subject. Would the sender have been such a student or did the just randomly pick it up somewhere? Looks like the sender had access to photocopying but was not very good at or why did the just not fold the booklet over so as not to have the blank page. Looks like they have unnecessarily done it A3 onto A4.

Robbybobtail · 12/01/2021 15:45

How have you not WhatsApped him a screenshot with a ???! yet. You have more restraint than I do!

Nooooo! Dont do this - the element of surprise is crucial if you are going to confront him! Dont give him time to come up with an excuse fgs!

livingabetterlife · 12/01/2021 15:51

"How does everyone who received "the same thing" from the JW know it was from them unless it said so? Which this one doesn't?"
Our JW letter was about marriage and was both sides of an A4 piece of paper closely written hand writing. I'm reading it thinking was is this shit must be from our vendor when I saw the person had kindly provided their email address if I wanted to get in contact with them (which I didnt): [email protected]

Historydweeb · 12/01/2021 15:52

Have you been arguing lately? Sounds like something an elderly neighbour might think to do if they heard raised voices and wanted to let him know that they knew (and give him a bit of a telling off) random i know

CostaDelCovid · 12/01/2021 15:53

@nevernotstruggling

Are the libraries even open, or the photocopy shops? Not many people would have a photocopier at home, so the sender would probably still be going in to work. And they would have to own this rather obscure book - it wouldn’t just be on the shelves of your local library!It’s all very strange!

Exactly. Who has a photocopier lying around??
I think it's mistaken identity or an eBay order gone wrong. I think the former.

I did think well meaning relative but again the photocopier during covid.....

Almost all printers these days have a photocopying option on them. That's what the top lifts off for! That's why they're called '3 in 1!'
pinbinpin · 12/01/2021 16:02

I've got a 3 in 1 printer that is also a photocopuer, have had for over ten years.

Elderly JW forgot to put the explanation/this is from the JW bit in the envelope?

florascotia2 · 12/01/2021 16:02

As Cecily says, and as a few previous posters have already commented, the photocopy (badly-done) is not from any normal edition of RLS's book of essays.
In any normal edition, the text flows continuously. It is not broken into little chunks. The little chunks are not numbered. (And here, in addition, the numbering seems odd - it doesn't seem to follow on. Why are the first 2 paras numbered '2 point something' and the next 2 paras numbered '3 point something'?)

Who has divided the text into chunks? And why?
Who has added the numbers? What do the numbers refer to?
Who has compiled a ring-binder with this page in? What might be on the other pages?

The typeface is also not one that would be used in a normal edition of the whole book. It looks 'educational', for want of a better word.

Although the blocks of text come from an essay on marriage, that is not their subject. The subject is hope - real hope, based on honesty and self-knowledge, and false hope, based on self-delusion.

The way these blocks of text are set out reminds me of passages for comprehension or translation, or else 'gobbets' - chunks of text which students have to analyse, unpick, explain and set in context to show their knowledge and understanding of a writer's work.

None of this helps the OP, of course. But someone has chosen to arrange and number those sections of text (and has possibly re-typed them, first) - they haven't just scanned or photocopied a page from a library book.

roseinthedark · 12/01/2021 16:04

Hiya, I had one of these!!! I’m in Essex area, don’t know if that’s close to you? It was Jehovah’s Witness, mine also came with a handwritten note that said because of covid they weren’t coming door to door but to give them a call if I wanted to. But it might be different if your envelope actually had your husbands name on it as ours just said, “residents of xxx”.

anothernamereally · 12/01/2021 16:07

@user1471565182

Its not weird, apparantly thats their MO. They send them all over the country from a centralised office often using publicly available addresses
No they print or write them at home, pop them in the post box and pay for it all from their own pockets or at least that's what my family member does Confused