My husband received something very strange in the post ...

[OnSilverStars]

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

We had exactly the same, it was from Jehovah Witnesses.

I have just dived into the rabbit hole of Google and searched for JW letters and added RLS. There were multiple hits. It sounds exactly the sort of batshit nonsense they might send.

If you are happily married I would very much assume it is from some sort of nut job organisation who are ticking the boxes necessary to enter Heaven. I presume door knocking is currently frowned upon.

i'm with you OP

Why are transgender site advising people how to make their handwriting look more masculine/feminine/androgynous then if most handwriting isn't generally gendered?

I accept that some is not - can not be easily distinguished, but there is most definitely "girly" writing styles - any primary school teacher will tell you that.

www.transgendermap.com/social/handwriting/androgynous-handwriting/

pelosi did yours contain no reference to religion or the Kingdom at all?

[quote Seychelles98]@OnSilverStars I think your DH sent the letter and is trying to get your attention indirectly. It's addressed to him but he knew you'd open it anyway. Maybe he got a female colleague to do the writing part to throw you off so that it didn't look like he'd sent it to himself! He mightn't be a good communicator when it comes to addressing issues?[/quote]
Lord, if this is the case, then your last sentence couldn't be more true!

I would be more inclined to think he was considering there a problem in your marriage and he’s confided in someone who is trying to steer him on the right path to working at your marriage. But it’s easy to say that without knowing how stable your relationship is.

Is likely your husband requested a copy of it to study the poem/essay for some reason? I used to get lots of things like this when I was a student, photocopies of various documents and papers that I couldn't get hold of online, and they usually arrived like that without any cover letter or anything.

@Jobsharenightmare

pelosi did yours contain no reference to religion or the Kingdom at all?

Oh, no it did. Forgot to add, it wasn't about marriage.

Can the snowflakes calm down about the OP opening her husbands mail ffs!

I open my DH mail everyday. I deal with all the house admin etc. Plus if I can suck his dick I can open his mail.

Really hope there is an innocent explanation OP.

The problem is OP your husband is unlikely to have any more clue of why he was sent this than you - so ultimately you have to ask yourself if you believe he has been cheating or not.

If someone was trying to let the OP know about an affair would they really send that particular essay honestly? Unless they are a really highbrow literary type who is also trying to prove their superior knowledge of fairly obscure essays it seems an unlikely choice.

Exactly! Which makes me even more curious as to why!

Definitely jw

Also I opened my husband's mail and he opened mine, it's perfectly acceptable if it's been discussed and agreed.

I don’t think it’s the JWs, my mum is a witness and she sends letters. They wouldn’t use anyone’s literature but their own (they’re very particular on that) and they would state it was a JW thing. They’re very particular on that too!

Personally I think it's a psycho stalker. Again, from watching Criminal Minds.

@pelosi

received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

We had exactly the same, it was from Jehovah Witnesses.

Was the one you received also a photocopy from a book with no religious connotations?

I've received a few things through the post from JW and they don't usually make it so ambiguous who it's from and not usually some poor photocopy. There's usually a leaflet included as well.

Don't say anything about until you've checked his phone and email. If he has cheated, he'll try to delete the evidence.

Is he interested in literature? Maybe someone offered to photocopy it for him?

@OnSilverStars

For everyone asking how I can tell it's a woman's handwriting. I'm sorry. In a really needy moment rejoice in your ability to have a "gotcha" moment.

It looks like a stereotypical woman's handwriting. I know that's not woke. Sorry.

I have not read all previous messages.

" In an experiment performed by John R. Beech from the University of Leicester, participants had to guess the gender of the author of random writing questionnaires based upon their handwriting.

Overall 65.67% of the males handwriting was identified correctly, and 66.08% of the females handwriting was identified correctly. So overall the majority of the time, people COULD correctly indicate which gender was behind the handwriting. "

sites.psu.edu/siowfa16/2016/09/06/why-do-females-and-males-have-different-handwriting-styles/comment-page-1/

Emphasis mine.

@OnSilverStars as pp have said, the JW's are not able to go door to door at moment so many are writing letters. It's definitely a possibility

Plus if I can suck his dick I can open his mail.

It's a legal defence under the Postal Services Act 2000.

@YippeeKayakOtherBuckets

My first thought was a culty church or JW.

We used to live down the road from a Brethren church and some of those people were intense.

I got a handwritten note from a 'neighbour' but it was all JW stuff. They didn't know my name though.

Plus if I can suck his dick I can open his mail.

Agreed.

Also agree - check his phone and emails before you say anything

Is this his mother?

I hope you get to the bottom of it OP. I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion of it being an affair.

Gut feeling is a good indicator. I know how hard it is with young DC but is there anything else that feels different? When my ex DH was having an affair quite a few behaviours changed. V secretive with phone, didn't seem 'present' , criticised me a lot, didn't want sex..... I knew something was up before I saw any evidence.

If things are otherwise normal I wouldn't panic too much. People find it hard to hide their behaviours and I'm sure you would have noticed something.

Also at all the people commenting on your observations re handwriting. When I was on mumsnet needing support in my life, the last thing I would have wanted was people picking up on this kind of thing. It's not nearly as important as the original issue . And I agree with you for what it's worth.