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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:

Thread gallery

RJnomore1 · 12/01/2021 12:35

It’s definitely not from JWs they would only send their own literature with a way to contact them. It could be some other religious group I guess.

Ninkanink · 12/01/2021 12:36

Yes that’s true - JW would reference their own materials.

Janegrey333 · 12/01/2021 12:37

I would recognise female handwriting. Why is that such an offence?
🙄

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/01/2021 12:37

If someone was trying to let the OP know about an affair would they really send that particular essay honestly? Unless they are a really highbrow literary type who is also trying to prove their superior knowledge of fairly obscure essays it seems an unlikely choice.

SmeleanorSmellstrop · 12/01/2021 12:38

Of COURSE you can tell the difference beyween a man's and a woman's handwriting! Why is everyone so pedantic? People are horrible for the sake of it on MN 😒

Onlinedilema · 12/01/2021 12:39

In your shoes I’d be suspecting the worse sorry.
Why would anyone send a married person a letter about marriage other than to point out they are not acting like a married person. Or the other possibility is he had confided in someone and they are trying to point put the value of marriage in a ‘ you need to stick at it’ way. Either way it’s not sounding good.
Fwiw ex dh once received a Valentine card not from me. Turned out it was from the ow who he had since married.
As regards to handwriting I do believe that I could guess the gender of most hand writers, at least 75%.

Original poster

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 12:39

No he hasn't been married before. We got married quite young actually

If I handed him an unopened letter that was hand written on the envelope(a more interesting letter than your average virgin or BT junk) he'd be like, why haven't you opened this

Also, we really don't fight and we definitely don't yell at each other, so no neighbour would have heard something like that.

We have little children so I guess our marriage has been a bit... lack lustre lately

But that's it. I just want him to get home so I can have a proper conversation with him

OP posts:

Ch3rish · 12/01/2021 12:39

@MedusasBadHairDay

It wasnt sent to the OP, it was to her husband so letting herknow about an affair isn't on the list of possible explanations.

wildraisins · 12/01/2021 12:40

@MedusasBadHairDay

They might well be.

They might want it to be coded so that they can't be identified by the wife, or are trying to appear "superior" by having this wisdom. They may be in great emotional distress and a bit mentally unstable.

Who knows... but I would definitely not be discounting the possibility of another woman here.

Oneearringlost · 12/01/2021 12:41

When does he get home OP?

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:41

@OnSilverStars

This is what arrived.

This is the first paragraph

Hope, they say, deserts us at no period of our existence. From first to last, and in the face of smarting disillusions, we continue to expect good fortune, better health, and better conduct; and that so confidently, that we judge it needless to deserve them. I think it improbable that I shall ever write like Shakespeare, conduct an army like Hannibal, or distinguish myself like Marcus Aurelius in the paths of virtue; and yet I have my by-days, hope prompting, when I am very ready to believe that I shall combine all these various excellences in my own person, and go marching down to posterity with divine honours. There is nothing so monstrous but we can believe it of ourselves. About ourselves, about our aspirations and delinquencies, we have dwelt by choice in a delicious vagueness from our boyhood up. No one will have forgotten Tom Sawyer’s aspiration: “Ah, if he could only die temporarily!”

wow. Optimism triumphs over the reality. And an admission of being flawed. Or less than perfect.

Agree that it's definitely not JW. Why would they not put in contact details. how would they tie a poem about marriage to their faith. How would they know you're married. All these suggestions that it's JW are so silly.

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/01/2021 12:42

It wasnt sent to the OP, it was to her husband so letting herknow about an affair isn't on the list of possible explanations.

Fair point. But still why would they send that particular essay? It seems an unlikely extract for an OW to choose

Bunnybigears · 12/01/2021 12:43

Cant believe people are being pivkybabiut the handwriting, some is pretty ambiguous but mostly you can tell. We had a handwritten letter from JW but it did actually say it was from them.

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:43

First of all, ask him if the poem means anything.

Then only after you've seen his reaction, hand him the letter.

That way, you get two reactions to gauge truth from.

The poem might mean something to him, and he might just say what that is if he doesn't knwo that there's a letter.

I do think somebody's sent it to you to de-rail you

RandomLondoner · 12/01/2021 12:44

Why the fuck are people wanking on about their personal experiences of handwriting? Nobody cares and thats not the issue here

Because multiple posters are being sarcastic, nasty or critical of the OP based on their incorrect belief that you can't tell gender from hand-writing. Complain about them if you don't like the thread being derailed, they started it.

wildraisins · 12/01/2021 12:45

The other thing I would possibly suspect OP is some kind of cult. Not JW's as I think they would be more up front. But you say your marriage has been a bit lacklustre lately - what do you think his mental health is like currently? Do you think he may be susceptible to messages from people like say Scientologists or similar obscure cults/ religions? It could be something like that which he has got involved with.

They target vulnerable people and I imagine there's a lot of it going on in the pandemic with the way people are feeling.

AramintaLee · 12/01/2021 12:46

Well it's obviously not from someone who knows him well because surely they'd just send him a photo via text or WhatsApp... or send him a link to the essay on the internet? Unless maybe it's from an older relative? Like my grandparents wouldn't know how to send a photo via their mobile.

If he knows what it's all about then that would explain why it was sent without anything to identify the sender (as your DH would have been expecting it) but if he has no clue what it's all about then clearly the sender wanted to remain anonymous which would ring alarm bells for me. It won't be from another woman (why would she send a crappy photocopy about the struggles of marriage??) but perhaps from someone who thinks your marriage is struggling?

I really don't know. I would also find it a bit unsettling but I'd just ask your DH as he might know who it's from.

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:47

a cult? Dear God.

Well, they need to leave a return address if they're randomly recruiting by sending extracts of ''worldly'' poems.

wildraisins · 12/01/2021 12:47

It wasnt sent to the OP, it was to her husband so letting herknow about an affair isn't on the list of possible explanations.

Not directly, no. But it could be a veiled threat/ ultimatum to the husband from the other woman. If the other woman is in a bad frame of mind as a result of secrecy of the affair, she might be pushing the boundaries a bit with the husband himself. It might be a power thing - "look, I have your address. I CAN send things to your house" - could be something like that.

HollowTalk · 12/01/2021 12:48

I'm not sure why people can't tell the difference between male and female handwriting. I was a teacher for years and wouldn't have to look at the name to know whether it was written by a boy or a girl.

Sodamncaughtinthemiddle · 12/01/2021 12:49

I don't think it is JW but equally I don't think it says affair either. But it is strange. And I think you can easily tell if writing is male or female. Hopefully your DH can explain it when he gets home

user1471565182 · 12/01/2021 12:49

People blatantly avoiding the obvious solution here so they can have a bit of infidelity drama.

Pumpkinpie1 · 12/01/2021 12:50

I’d destroy the letter and just wait & see.
If he’s happy for you to open his post, not secretive with his phone etc, he’s not acting as if anything’s going on.
Was it definitely sent to him ?

Tellmetruth4 · 12/01/2021 12:50

My friend received a handwritten letter from Jehovah’s Witnesses last week. They’ve been told to write to people as they can’t door knock due to Covid.

wildraisins · 12/01/2021 12:51

@user1471565182

People blatantly avoiding the obvious solution here so they can have a bit of infidelity drama.

What's the obvious solution?

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