What my DD told nursery - make me feel better please

[Retrovibe89]

This is probably going to be such a non issue but this is my first child so the first time I’ve encountered this. DD is almost 2 and apparently told one of the staff at nursery today “mummy naughty. Mummy shouting. Daddy crying” so they have just been on the phone and I think they think I abuse my husband please make me feel better that this is just toddler rambling!!!!

@dementedma

My mother is 85 now and still recalls my older brother's description of her put up on the wall at parents' evening. "My mummy is little and fat. She drinks brandy and smokes cigarettes". All true though.

I want her to be my mum

DD at nursery denied that she even knew who DH was - they had to check the safe word and get the book with parent photos in because she was refusing to leave with him.

Then in 6th grade (Yr 7) she told her teacher, and the entire class, that I had got drunk at the weekend and fallen over - she acted it out for them. I teach in the room next door, so all those kids believed that I'm a fall-down drunk!

Oh, also - my best friend was in the supermarket prior to Christmas once, with her son who was about four who lay face down and had a massive tantrum. She asked her DH to take him back to the car. He picked him up, and the little twerp started screaming “Help! This man is not my father! Help! Help! This man is not my father! Help!!!” Which is what he had just been taught for stranger danger. Luckily the kid is a clone of his dad and everyone who had seen the interaction just stood around and applauded.

My ds went on a playdate where he told the parents that I just sit on the sofa drinking wine all day. I'm virtually tee total. I never drink at home.

OMG memory from my childhood.

The neighbours came round to check whether their 5 year old had really been given wine.

5 year old had asked for a drink but said he didn't like water. We had no squash in the house so my dad said he'd get hm some, 'duck wine', (AKA corporation pop)ie water.

Once as a nursery teacher any years ago I asked the children if they knew their parents names.

Most did some just Mummy or Daddy.

One little boy said Mummy was Sarah and Daddy was Plonker.

I adjed was getting sure. He nodded emphatically.

' Yes, Mummy calls him a Plonker, so I know its his name' he replied.

All the staff tried not to laugh.

Funniest he was the Dad that everybody thought was gorgeous.

@Shosha1 very funny!

@NotanotherboxofFrogs

I dreaded asking what she told the teacher when she returned to school on a Monday after having the Friday off for my mother's funeral, we were standing graveside (raining heavily, cold, thick fog) going through prayers when I felt someone touch my arm, I turned to my left which swing my handbag around and knocked over the same niece now age 5, who lost her footing and slipped as if in slow motion into the open grave on top of her granny.

It apparently went along the lines of Frogs pushed her into the grave (accident), then her daddy gave her drugs (Calpol) and then she had some nuggets and ice cream (not together). The school had sent a rep who witnessed the incident.

Op, I’m crying

Your poor niece, that’s awful! At least it makes up for her exposing you!

Morning, everyone!

This thread has had a few nominations for Classics so we're going to move it over there now.

DD1, aged 3 at nursery - crying silently so they asked what was wrong - "I'm a widow lady"

Same child, complaining about a rather rough boy in her group, listing increasingly worrying set of behaviours...... "and THEN he went out into the playground and ate a snake he found there!"

DD2 nearly 3 - scream from her twin that "H ate my narna!" - asked DD2 "did you eat your brother's banana?" Slowly, cheeks bulging, she meets my eye and shakes her head.

They are all little storytellers!

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff

DD1, aged 3 at nursery - crying silently so they asked what was wrong - "I'm a widow lady"

Same child, complaining about a rather rough boy in her group, listing increasingly worrying set of behaviours...... "and THEN he went out into the playground and ate a snake he found there!"

DD2 nearly 3 - scream from her twin that "H ate my narna!" - asked DD2 "did you eat your brother's banana?" Slowly, cheeks bulging, she meets my eye and shakes her head.

They are all little storytellers!

“I’m a widow lady” is a quote from Burglar Bill (from Burglar Betty who is at the time in tears...).

@LisaLemon

I'd just ignore it.

However if your husband really was crying in front of her then this isn't great. Was he?

Why shouldn't she see her parents cry??

Totally outing but when I was about 10 the teachers called me into an empty classroom and were incredibly concerned about my DDad. My DSis (5 or 6) had gone into incredible detail and told them he'd been in a horrific accident with a lorry and needed both legs amputated. The teachers were probably worried I was a sociopath because I was showing zero emotion over this tragedy until I convinced them it was the first I'd heard of it and to call my Mum on the phone to confirm it.

Last week my 3 year old son told his nursery keyworker that he wanted to go to the pub(!) She asked him what he has at the pub and he instantly replied "I have sausage, chips, ice cream and beer". (The latter being an unfortunate choice on our part to tell him on ONE occasion that his fruit shoot was a beer as he was asking to try his daddy's pint. That one bit us on the backside but thankfully the nursery worker found it hilarious). 🤦🏻‍♀️

When my son was 7 1/2 he did not eat meat but would eat fish. So for Xmas I had 12 people and son to feed so I cooked the turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing balls, onions, parsnips, pigs in blankets, homemade cranberry sauce, carrots, peas, Brussel sprouts and a put in a piece of fish for son. He demanded Yorkshire puddings as I did usually cook him some when we had a roast so I explained I did not have room in oven but he kept on and on and then cried so I threw a couple of Aunt Bessie's in the oven for him at the end. He was not happy. All through dinner he kept whinging about Yorkshire puddings not proper. In the end I had just about had enough and told him he was an ungrateful little boy as some children did not get a nice Xmas dinner. I was clearing up when he came running out to me and said the lady wanted to talk to me on the phone. I had not heard phone ring but went in to see who it was. It turned out D's had phoned childline because he did not get homemade Yorkshire puddings. The lady was very nice and D's had told her what he had been given to eat. I panicked and started to explain I did not have room in oven but I would make some Boxing day but she was laughing and said he was a lucky little boy. She then spoke to him and asked if there were any other problems and D's said no and she told him he should only call again if he had a real problem like My did not give him any dinner. Apparently D's had learnt about childline at school and teacher had put number in journal. I have never let my son forget that one. He does still like homemade Yorkshire puddings though.

My foster son with additional needs attends a special school. They were starting a topic on India. Foster son is cricket obsessed and watches every game of the IPL cricket tournament. During lunch breaks the camera often shows local attractions. He loves to watch these and often talks about India. Teacher asks have any of you ever been to India? Foster son puts up his hand and says yes. Teacher asks which part did he go to? He started to name all of the main regions. The teacher said can you tell us what you saw, what you did there? He then gave an elaborate description of the main attractions and how much he enjoyed them. At Parents Evening teacher kept telling us how much he had learned when he went on his trip to India and how impressed she was. We looked at each other, then.said he had never been to India, but the teacher was insistent he had been. Child sat there saying nothing. DH turned to foster son why did you tell your teacher you had been to India? Foster son, well I wanted to see if I could make her believe me because she is not very clever. Foster son is autistic and says exactly what he thinks with no filters. We nearly died.

My son wrote in his ‘news’ session at school that his dad and I had eaten burgers and drunk wine in the bath all weekend. He even illustrated it with a picture of a bath with our grinning faces popping out either end, waving wine glasses.

The teacher put it up on display on open day.

@sashh

My ds went on a playdate where he told the parents that I just sit on the sofa drinking wine all day. I'm virtually tee total. I never drink at home.

OMG memory from my childhood.

The neighbours came round to check whether their 5 year old had really been given wine.

5 year old had asked for a drink but said he didn't like water. We had no squash in the house so my dad said he'd get hm some, 'duck wine', (AKA corporation pop)ie water.

My dad used to call it 'magic juice'.

I hated water, what a boring drink! Loved 'magic juice' though

@Haggisfish

We were in a queue to pick up a hire car and dd ran away from dh screaming ‘you’re a beast!! Get away from me!!’.

😂😂😂😂😂

@CaptainMyCaptain

A child once told me about something at home that concerned me. I contacted social services ASAP and it turned out his mother was having a complete breakdown. I had been feeling some qualms about reporting but she was given the help she needed and actually came to thank me. It is important for people working with children to be able to report if they have concerns even if it turns out to be nothing.

I was with you right up to the "thanked me"

My 2.5-year-old DD had terrible constipation. Dr gave us a rectal suppository for her. DD recounted the story as: “Papa made a boo boo in my bum. I cried. Papa said shhhhhh.” That was a fun one to explain. 😳

My DD came home from nursery one day telling me that one of the nursery teachers kept hitting her on the head and sitting on her.

I relayed this info to the teacher in question, and she said that yes, this was true, they played a game where she bopped the kids on the head and pretended to sit on them and DD found it hilarious.

When I was 6 my brother told our teachers that I was off school because I’d gone to China for a piano recital. They were very impressed that I was some kind of prodigy. It was actually Hitchin.

And he told them that our aunty was a shoplifter. She was actually a stock-taker.

When DD told people about her new baby brother she used to tell them that “Mummy and Daddy got my new baby for Christmas from Mummy’s work”.
This was kind of true. He was born 19/12 and in the hospital I worked in. On my way home with DH and the kids, we passed my ward and they were putting up the Christmas Decorations and opened the door to say hello and coo over DD and her baby. So, lots of explanations for a while!

Ive remembered another one, not Dniece this time but her younger brother when he was 8.

After summer holidays was writing about what happened in the holidays, ...blah, blah blah.and then Frogs threatened me and then we had a birthday party.

Yes I did threaten him that's true, in McDonald's that if he didn't stop telling his older sister that she wasn't one of his Daddy's family (my brother is bio dad to the youngest two) but brothers then partner had 4 children previous to meeting him and raised all as his own with the full agreement of the fathers, the older kids all considered him their dad, I wouldn't get him any ice cream.

His birthday party was a couple of days later but it sounded worse than it was. From that day on he stopped with the taunting of older sister (who was then 13 and very upset by it), he did get his ice cream but it was worth the "threat" - the worst thing that could happen 😉

My dd told her teachers that mummy pushed daddy down the stairs and he got arrested and was in jail.
When we asked her why she it, it was because they were all telling stories about their mums and dad's and she just got it from her head.... no idea were she got any of it from. When the teacher told me I just stood there baffled haha

Also when I was about 7, a girl who lived on my Row was being a cow so I called the police on her. They asked for my house address and I shouted into my mum. "mummy where do we live?" she told me and then bobbed her head around the corner to see me on the phone. Never seen her fly so fast to grab the phone of me hahaha...

DS then 4, told school his Daddy was dead. He wasn't. Isn't.

DD3 told a great tale about when the back door slammed shut and smashed and it was terrifying and Mummy was shouting. The wind blew the very old door shut and the glass smashed. I shouted with the shock of it. The landlord immediately came round and put wood over the glass panel in order to make it safe. The school also queried DS on this (he said the same) and DH. Unfortunately her use of the word "terrifying" meant a referral to SS who, on speaking to all of us, realised my daughter has a very good vocabulary for her age and picks up on words DS uses very quickly. She actually didn't know what the word terrifying meant!!!!!

DS at 6 told school he only had burnt noodles for tea. He had had some chicken noodles (Super Noodles) with his tea and didn't like them so had everything else he was given. He didn't say that 😂

I made pancakes once and dropped one on the floor, which ended up in the bin. DD said Mummy threw food on the floor.

I have several grey hairs now.

:/