What my DD told nursery - make me feel better please

[Retrovibe89]

This is probably going to be such a non issue but this is my first child so the first time I’ve encountered this. DD is almost 2 and apparently told one of the staff at nursery today “mummy naughty. Mummy shouting. Daddy crying” so they have just been on the phone and I think they think I abuse my husband please make me feel better that this is just toddler rambling!!!!

@TooTrueToBeGood

I used to play in a friendly poker game once a fortnight and as it was in the next village I stayed over with my friend and his wife who were both workmates. One of my DDs better moments of parental embarrassment was when she brought home a picture she had drawn in school. It had me, friend and friend's wife all holding hands beside a big bed and a speech bubble saying "Let's play poke her". DDs teacher had clearly seen it as she had put a smiley face on it and a comment along the lines of "That looks like fun, lovely picture DD".

This made me cry with laughter haha omg

We don't know she was traumatised. But if she was I hope she doing ok now. My own childhood was pretty rough so you may be right, it was the early 80s.

I think children are generally treated better now. I have always made up my mind to not spank and I never have. Am amazed, looking bad, it was ever acceptable.

@JeNeComprendsPas

My eldest (then 2 y/o) told nursery I put "biscuits" up my bum (she'd walked in on me using a tampon). She also told them that for a long, long time when she was a little baby she lived with her granny and she'd only moved back with me last year, it was because I was always cross with her so her granny took her away to keep her really safe. And she told nursery that she was a lost princess and I wasn't her real mummy. She has a flair for the dramatic. Good job I'm not easily embarrassed!

My youngest fell down the stairs and we ended up in a&e because her head made such a sound that I was terrified. Later that week we were back in a&e for a pulled elbow she got when I was holding her hand to go downstairs and she jumped down to the next step. We got a health visitor call after that.
Such fun.

That must have been terrifying that they alerted the health visitor but am glad (well, I assume) things were all sorted out. I can't help chuckling about biscuit tampons though....sorry...

Dd, aged about 4. Told dnum and my aunt that 'mummy and daddy give me readymeals and put me to bed early every night then eat all the nice food to themselves'.

Was a once every few weeks treat for her to have an m and s kids ready meal (which she loved) and go get in our bed to watch TV while we had takeaway, but because she loved our bed, she'd want to get in it as soon as possible.

She's also told dmum I maker her do ALL the housework, including the bathroom with bleach at age 7. It wasn't bleach, it was flash bathroom spray and she asked to clean the bath. And at age 14 that she has to cook for her and her brother all the time because I cba. She's veggie, quite capable of cooking her own dinner and never even wants a veggie alternative to say spag bol. I might ask her to shove ds a pizza in if she's doing one anyway.

@LisaLemon

I'd just ignore it.

However if your husband really was crying in front of her then this isn't great. Was he?

Would you say the same thing about a mother crying in front of their child? I know I've cried in front of mine, I didn't realise you couldn't show emotion in front of children.

I ran a beaver group and we had the police in talking about being safe - the stories that came out from the. 6 year olds got more elaborate as the hour went on!!!

@randomer

Made up shite.

What is? Everyone's stories?

My parents took my daughter to the Zoo as a treat for her 2nd birthday.. On returning home for tea, she totally denied visiting the zoo or seeing any of the animals she had been photographed with

My dd’s class did a mother days assembly when she was in infant school, my dd stood and announced that she always hears me pop a wine bottle open every night when she goes to bed !!!!
I don’t even drink 😂😂😂
What goes on in their little minds ????

One of my sons told nursery that I wouldn't let him go to sleep until midnight. Obviously rubbish, but they asked me if it was why he's tired?!

@Schmoozer

My dd’s class did a mother days assembly when she was in infant school, my dd stood and announced that she always hears me pop a wine bottle open every night when she goes to bed !!!! I don’t even drink 😂😂😂 What goes on in their little minds ????

I do wonder if children get confused sometimes between reality and fantasy? Maybe he had seen a wine bottle in tv and got confused?

On, tv, not in! Time for me to go to bed

Ds turned around to his teacher just before lockdown and told them that we didn't have any food in the house apart from some mouldy apples and Mummy wont be buying any more until the apples get eaten.

I had a phonecall from the school asking if I needed support with a foodbank referral.

What DS actually meant was that he had eaten all the strawberries I had just brought, and I wouldnt be buying more strawberries until the more boring fruit like apples had been eaten. I was sick and tired of buying fruit just to be left. I had also had an internet food order delivered that day and took pictures of the rammed full fridge and cupboards to show the teacher. Oh, and said mouldy apples had been binned.

My daughter once told the sharing circle in nursery that I could drink vodka through my eyeballs (other kids were sharing the best things their mums could do ie best hugs etc, ) an advert had come on tv for the Kevin and Perry film where eyeball Paul could drink vodka through his eyeball and my husband informed her that her mum could do this !!!! So she shared with the nursery 😂

My daughter told her teacher I'd knocked her over (what I'd actually done is tried to grab her as she was falling over and softened the blow, (this was just before school one morning) headteacher rang me asked me about the "incident that happened this morning" I didn't have a clue what she meant, then she informed that she'd already rang social services to report me and I should expect and call or visit shortly, and they'd taken my other children out of their classes to have a little chat with them about me. Weirdly though only my youngest 2 who wouldn't have been much help they didn't speak to my child in year 6. I was mortified, it was probably the worst 24 hours of my life I kept reading horror stories online about SS and felt sick to the stomach, the next day the head sheepishly came over to me and said SS said it wasn't something that needed to be investigated. I never trusted her again after that. I feel like she had an agenda, ofsted were due and I honestly believe she wanted to show them they'd taken action when a child came in and said something like that.

I'm 41 & my mum still talks about having to take me to a&e aged about 7 where I loudly declared that I'd fallen off the bar.
It was a gymnastics bar but she says their faces were a picture!

I dread to think what my school ages child says to the teachers. He’s a jackanory and I can’t believe a word he says most of the time. He embellishes the truth shall we say and comes out with anything.

He told me his friend has a broken leg, he told everyone he went to the farm park all day when he was off poorly - he told me this. I thought if he’s told the teacher that then she’ll be wondering wth....

That’s the tip of the ice berg...

Btw the friend didn’t have a broken leg

My husband teaches boxing, and we sometimes train together. My 6 year old told his teacher, "my Dad punched my mum in the face and she was crying (never happened) so I had to fight him away". An hour later both him and his older brother were being interviewed in school by social services.
I was beside myself as the school wouldn't even allow me in the building to collect them at pick up time AND wouldn't tell me why. It was only after the interviews were concluded and it was deduced that he was telling tales that I was deemed fit to parent. The lovely social services lady met me in the playground all smiles saying "it was all a misunderstanding. Your son is very chatty and has told me all about how you like to put fruit in your wine (another lie )".
Kids are arseholes sometimes.

When DS was about 2 I accidentally pulled his hair a tiny bit while I was taking his bib off. He got really mad and told everyone we met that day "Mummy hurt me!!!". I was mortified!

When my kids were little I worked nights (as a nurse).

One morning I got home and daughter (just 2) was in my bed with her dad. I got in as he got our and went for a wash. When he came back in the bedroom, wearing just his pants, she exclaimed delightedly "You look just like the milkman".

I collapsed laughing but he was less amused.

Although he laughed later, his totally unwarranted suspicion over this and other things are part of the reason he is now an ex.

My three year old told nursery that daddy has a big cock and if he is very good boy then daddy lets him play with daddy's big cock in the bedroom.

CLOCK + speech impediment = cock

The boy was obsessed with the new clock radio daddy had on his side of the bed.

I had to point at the clock in the nursery and ask what is it, to which he shouted "cock, it is a cock mummy."

Two things happened yesterday. DDs nursery called to ask about the red mark on her cheek as she had said they it happened at home. It was just sore from wiping snot from her runny nose using her sleeve! DD also told me that she had two daddies. We are still yet to determine who her other daddy is but this is how rumours start...

When DS was in reception they had a talk from the NSPCC. His teacher (rather leadingly) asked him if there was anything mummy or daddy did that he didn't like. "I don't like it when my mummy hits me really hard on the bum" says he. I've never hit him. I got summoned to the heads office when I went to pick him up, that was a fun conversation. It didn't go any further, but they still look at me like I'm something they stepped in 4 years later...

My “little angel” did such a vivid (and accurate) drawing of how an abattoir & meat processing plant works, from how the animal arrives alive, and then all the procedures it goes through until it leaves the factory... that I was invited in to the teacher and quizzed as to wether the “little angel” had actually visited the meat factory during a working day!
I had to tell her that our ds had questioned his Daddy how the whole factory worked, then did the most detailed drawing and colouring I’d ever known him do!!
I was quite shocked when the teacher showed me the drawing!

I always thought the teacher (lovely as she was) thought we were a ‘strange’ family after that episode😱