What my DD told nursery - make me feel better please

[Retrovibe89]

This is probably going to be such a non issue but this is my first child so the first time I’ve encountered this. DD is almost 2 and apparently told one of the staff at nursery today “mummy naughty. Mummy shouting. Daddy crying” so they have just been on the phone and I think they think I abuse my husband please make me feel better that this is just toddler rambling!!!!

@footprintsintheslow

When there was the terrible tsunami on Boxing Day my daughters school had a special assembly incase the children had been upset by the graphic news reports. They asked the children if they wanted to talk about anything and my quiet shy child stood up in front of the whole school and announced her grandparents had been killed in the tsunami. They hadn't even been on holiday.

I had the school on the phone to ask why I hadn't warned them. Then all the children went home and told their parents so I had phonecalls from them too.

Oh no!

Mind you even the shyest of children can say things if they want a bit of sympathy.
The girl I mentioned previously was usually shy and pretty nervous of adults and awkward with peers, but if someone showed her a bit of attention she would milk it like mad. one week her parents were away and she stayed with her school friend and their parents but was missing her mother and cried at school. When asked why she was like "I don't have a mummy anymore!". Her mum was alive and well! Later as a teenager she faked sexual abuse for attention and used to cut herself. as an adult she was diagnosed with personality disorder, but she lies and tells people she has complex ptsd as well (Rolls eyes) She was a bad 'un! moved away now but it wouldn't surprise me if she turns out to be one of those people who claims terminal illness and ends up taking money from fundraisers.

Regarding children's lies, To be honest, am sure teachers have heard it all, and nothing much shocks them!

I told my reception teacher when i was 5 that my daddy sat in the shed all day drinking beer and crying. There was a concerned phone call home that night!

I went to pick up dd from a party and the birthday boy said to me 'daddy was slapping the children's bums!' The poor man was mortified and it turned out he had been doing musical bumps with them and hence their bums slapping on the floor.

DS (3 at the time) told my mum that I shouted at DH while he (DS) laid on his bed and cried. This had definitely not happened but it’s just plausible enough that it could have. Mum laughed so I hope she actually believed me!

In the same week he told a big story about decorating the nursery Christmas tree and his key worker lifted him up so he could put the star on top... nursery hadn’t put their tree up yet... it must have been a phase he was going through!

My eldest (then 2 y/o) told nursery I put "biscuits" up my bum (she'd walked in on me using a tampon). She also told them that for a long, long time when she was a little baby she lived with her granny and she'd only moved back with me last year, it was because I was always cross with her so her granny took her away to keep her really safe.
And she told nursery that she was a lost princess and I wasn't her real mummy.
She has a flair for the dramatic. Good job I'm not easily embarrassed!

My youngest fell down the stairs and we ended up in a&e because her head made such a sound that I was terrified. Later that week we were back in a&e for a pulled elbow she got when I was holding her hand to go downstairs and she jumped down to the next step. We got a health visitor call after that.
Such fun.

Hahaha I know I shouldn’t laugh but this is what they do. My husband apparently wears my underwear and I also let my kids drink whisky 🥃, I’ve also lost count of the times I’ve had a baby growing in my tummy.

@Fififerry1

In the 1970’s I told my teacher that my mum was a prostitute, that my dad had changed her, but my granny still a prostitute. She was a Protestant who converted to Catholicism. My sister said my mum was lazy and always sitting down. She had just had a hysterectomy. My brother said she was always getting in police cars and being taken to the police station. She worked in the police canteen and would often be given a lift to work. How she showed her face at the school I will never know.

Your poor mother! (and grandmother!!)

DD2.5yrs

"Mummy pulls my hair" - I brush it.

"Mummy push me" - I push her buggy

Dd told nursery workers dh drove a bus. She upgraded him from bus passenger to driver 😁. Led to a very crossed purpose conversation with staff about bus routes! He’s actually a solicitor so was really baffled

Apart from some of the insanity and maliciousness in a few posts (not by the posters but by inappropriate trouble-causing), this is the best thread I've read after a challenging day.

My dd is currently au pairing for two little french boys. Lovely, but they have had her life. The mum has their number, but dad is a pushover. Mum was working late and they told dad dd had thrown their iPad out of the window. (She had put it away during dinner) Little One told their teacher that mum and dad had abandoned them with her to go drinking and dancing and left them with their au pair who didn’t cook for them. They had gone away overnight for their anniversary and dd and the boys had sushi.

Gosh ds is almost 1 and a half, I've laughed at this thread, but now I'm worried about the things he'll come out with 🤦‍♀️ I read my books out loud to him so he's heard alsorts of tales...

Not quite the same thing but when I was teaching reception, a little girl very proudly came up to me with a picture she had drawn. She proudly said, "look, I've drawn a picture of you. That's your big, fat bum and they're your big, fat legs!!" I was quite taken a bit but in as humorous as tone as I could manage replied, "well, why don't be done with it and just draw my big fat tummy too?" She very matter of factly replied, "well no cos you don't have a big, fat tummy. Just big, fat legs and a big, fat bum!!"

I am very pear shaped so was a very accurate appraisal but triggered a big diet effort!!!

At 3 at nursery my son burst into tears on Father’s Day and said he was sad because he could not make a card for his ‘other father’. The staff alerted me, somewhat censoriously with the implication that it would help if they knew a child’s family circumstances....

On the way home I asked Ds about this mysterious ‘other father’.

“The one that came down from space and shone a blue light into your tummy and made me”.

Made up shite.

My nephew told his nursery that his parents let him smoke cigarettes when they smoked cigarettes (neither parent EVER smoked!). He just had a fixation about people smoking, they thought had seen smokers in the pub garden, and he kept pretending to smoke.

Lillyhoneyrose I find that really shocking tbh. I think she was probably telling the truth and dismissed her entire life as ‘a bad in’

I was trying to repair the washing machine a few weeks ago and was laid on my front on the top of it using a screwdriver to try and get the back off. My DP came up behind me and tickled me and I screamed the house down. DD (3) told the nursery staff the next day “daddy stuck a screwdriver up mummy’s bum and mummy liked it”. I know this because when I picked her up she told me and the poor nursery worker doing the handover didn’t know where to look. Fucking mortified.

Lillyhoneyrose

It is disturbing that you so cheerfully recount a tale of a child being abused, managing to blame the child, and then follow up with another post calling that now-adult child a liar for being traumatised.

Shame on you.

@Lillyhoneyrose that story is incredibly bizarre, and I would be worried about sexual abuse happening in the home. It is absolutely not normal for a parent to threaten to insert fingers in a child's body under any circumstances regardless of whether it's said seriously. It's just an incredibly bizarre thing to even think of dating and says something about the mental state of the father. I suspect the poor girl had good reason not to talk to her dad for many years. Awful.

DS (then aged 5) fell and banged his eye off his highly impractical, wooden bed. He was mid tantrum at the time and then very upset about it and going to school with a black eye. I said, tell them a dragon did it. He was very into dragons at the time. We laughed. All ok.

Call from the school, the next day. He told his teacher his mum was in his room, bumped his head off the bed and then told him to lie about it! That was a very long conversation!