Page 8 | What my DD told nursery - make me feel better please

Retrovibe89 · 2020-12-02T17:29:45+00:00

This is probably going to be such a non issue but this is my first child so the first time I’ve encountered this. DD is almost 2 and apparently told one of the staff at nursery today “mummy naughty. Mummy shouting. Daddy crying” so they have just been on the phone and I think they think I abuse my husband [blush] please make me feel better that this is just toddler rambling!!!!

MollyBloomYes · 03/12/2020 00:42

My little darlings cooked up a cunning plan between them which consisted of bare faced lying to their teachers about getting no breakfast at home. They individually related this to their teachers, separate classrooms, insisted under questioning, refused to break until my oldest sons teacher (who is an absolute diamond) eventually said she'd call me to confirm at which point he confessed. The little buggers had been having double breakfasts for quite a while apparently, all because they preferred the breakfast club cereal to the stuff we had at home. I'd have bought them the same sodding stuff if they'd asked!
Thing is we'd been coming out of quite a rough period with my oldest, lots of anxiety and lockdown related issues which had made mornings a total arse and had meant a lot of getting to school just after the gates had closed and having to sign them in, me looking frazzled etc etc. School completely aware and supportive but could easily have added up to the conclusion that I wasn't coping and therefore not feeding them either!

My absolute favourite from my childcare days was a small child informing me very cheerfully that spaghetti was his favourite dinner because that's what he got to eat when mummy and daddy were upstairs trying to make him a brother or a sister!

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 03/12/2020 03:56

Niece4 announced that she was having auntie frogs (me) baby that eve to her teacher and it was going to be twins (girls, boys, puppies and aliens) to be exact, counting wasn't a strong point.

As she came out of the school she came running over and wrapped herself around my leg, tore the blouse I was wearing apart that the buttons went in all directions and proceeded to demand that the baby come out now. I was trying to cover myself up.

The teacher came over, congratulated me on my pregnancy as niece talked about it all day, I had to explain that I wasn't pregnant and that the evening before I had joked to her dad (my brother) after a large meal, food baby due tomorrow evening 🙊

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 03/12/2020 04:06

I dreaded asking what she told the teacher when she returned to school on a Monday after having the Friday off for my mother's funeral, we were standing graveside (raining heavily, cold, thick fog) going through prayers when I felt someone touch my arm, I turned to my left which swing my handbag around and knocked over the same niece now age 5, who lost her footing and slipped as if in slow motion into the open grave on top of her granny.

It apparently went along the lines of Frogs pushed her into the grave (accident), then her daddy gave her drugs (Calpol) and then she had some nuggets and ice cream (not together). The school had sent a rep who witnessed the incident.

Lovelydovey · 03/12/2020 06:44

My DM tells the story of when she was called into the Head’s office and asked what she thought I meant as I had (in reception) drawn a sad face and written “I am sad”. She had no idea.

Turns out I was sad at the time I was asked to write about how I was feeling. I was sad as the teacher had asked me to tidy up another child’s mess. Don’t think being sad lasted for long...

Senojeel77 · 03/12/2020 07:08

I bought my nephews the game, where you have to go round the shape with a hook without touching it as it makes a noise. Youngest nephew goes to school and tells teacher he's been playing the hooker game with his dad on the bed...... I thought it was hilarious. My sister not so much

ThatDirection · 03/12/2020 07:24

@Missthedog

Get used to it OP. 😁 My youngest fell down the stairs and told everyone he did it while Mummy was at the pub. Went to open day for eldest at school and his work was displayed on the wall for all the parents to see. The theme was Wishes, and his main wish was for Mummy to get some money so we could finally be out of debt....Btw, I have no idea where either of these came from.

I know I shouldn't laugh but that did make me properly laugh out loud.

JMG1234 · 03/12/2020 08:19

My son wrote in his school book that we'd spent the weekend staying with some friends. Complete with a drawing of three people in bed together with another person at the foot of the bed watching.

My other son wrote under the caption "food that I haven't tried yet but would like to"..rabbit. The other wrote under"favourite animal": pigs because I can eat them. It made us sound like cave hunting swingers. I don't even want to think about things they said at school.

justilou1 · 03/12/2020 08:40

My DD started crying and limping and told the childcare worker that“My daddy hit me with a pick axe.” I had to agree that yes, was absolutely true. Childcare worker was appalled at my cruel laughter. I asked my DD to show her leg - not a single bruise or a scratch. I explained that the pick axe was a Lego one. (DD had better thank me first in her Oscar speech!)

sashh · 03/12/2020 08:57

Child in Birmingham a fre years ago told his teacher he 'lived in a terrorist house'.

Reported to SS who reported to police.

The house was raided.

The child had meant he lived in a terraced house.

NotDesmondsBoat · 03/12/2020 09:47

I told my teachers my mum smacked me. She has never, ever EVER lay a finger on me!
Kids bullshit

ScrapThatThen · 03/12/2020 10:07

Hmm. Mummy shouting daddy crying. Is there the teeniest possibility she has heard you having sex?

Rainbowandscarlett · 03/12/2020 10:34

My brother many years ago was laid in front of the fireplace
A massive 70’s style one with tiles on the bottom that came out about a foot from the fire
He was laying there,daydreaming when my mother thought it would be funny to yank on his feet/ankles
He hit his face on the tile and burst his lip
He walked round for weeks with a fat lip and a sad look on his face,telling anyone who would listen ‘my mummy did this to me...’
It was the 80’s and nobody came out to check he was ok!

Rainbowandscarlett · 03/12/2020 10:42

@MollyBloomYes
My son did this-he was having breakfast at home-then going to grannies house and having a top up with her (so at this point he would have had say,weetabix and toast then going to grannies and having more toast and fruit)
He had been going to school for months and telling them that he hadn’t been fed so they where making him toast on top!
The best laugh is,my mother worked at the school (she had left about a month before he came up with his cunning plan) so the staff knew us and knew we would never leave any child to go hungry
They never checked with his two siblings either-just took his word for it!
Little sod got away with this for a full school year!

MangoesAreMyFavourite · 03/12/2020 10:57

I had taken DD to see the Olympic torch in 2012, she ran around a cafe there and fell and got a black eye.
The next day we went to her appointment with a dietician.

The lady at reception asked her how she got it. And my lovely child said 'Mummy hit me'.

That evening we got a visit from plain-clothes police as well as social services. They separated us (dh, me , dd) and asked everyone what happened, checked the fridge and cupboards, her room... everything!

She was delighted to see them - and told them lots and lots of stories. Thankfully she was clean, well fed, nails trimmed and looked happy so they closed the case.

Phew!!

JazzRiff · 03/12/2020 11:07

I do wonder if children get confused sometimes between reality and fantasy

To a small child, what happens in their imagination is as important as what happens in their life. As adults we seem to have forgotten what it is to have the mind of a child. Children learn though stories as much as though real life. Just as they imagine a witch in a wood in a fairy tale, which actually re-assures them about how safe their own home and parents are, so they imagine what it might be like if Mummy hit them, or whatever - they run though the possibilities in their minds.

Their imaginations are so vivid that it feels like a lived experience.

It isn't 'lying' - it is telling what they saw and felt in their mind.

I can remember this. It seemed to wear off by about 6, approaching 7.

CrimsonCattery · 03/12/2020 11:25

Lol it doesn't stop there.

As a teacher, a 13yo told me (boasting) he had been left at home to manage while his parents went on holiday for a week. I had to report it. Turns out he had neglected to mention his Nana was staying with him (far less cool than him being master of the house). His parents were LIVID with him after social services turned up!

But no harm done and better we report and it is nothing than we fail to safeguard those that need it.

binkyblinky · 03/12/2020 11:41

My 7 year old accidentally called 999 from a mobile phone. He told the police that he had been naughty and I had locked him in his room. I hadn't of course! Police rang the house to check

steppemum · 03/12/2020 14:24

@JazzRiff

I do wonder if children get confused sometimes between reality and fantasy

To a small child, what happens in their imagination is as important as what happens in their life. As adults we seem to have forgotten what it is to have the mind of a child. Children learn though stories as much as though real life. Just as they imagine a witch in a wood in a fairy tale, which actually re-assures them about how safe their own home and parents are, so they imagine what it might be like if Mummy hit them, or whatever - they run though the possibilities in their minds.

Their imaginations are so vivid that it feels like a lived experience.

It isn't 'lying' - it is telling what they saw and felt in their mind.

I can remember this. It seemed to wear off by about 6, approaching 7.

yes developmentally children find it really hard to distinguish fantasy and reality until they area about 7.

It is why they are able to hold on to things like Santa Claus/tooth fairy etc, when if you asked them, they know perfectly well that it is not possible.

My dh is Dutch and every year on dec 5th dressed up as SinterKlaas. he literally went into the bedroom (we lived in a flat) and came out as SinterKlaas, with daddy's hair, wearing daddy's glasses and daddy's socks.

Kids firmly believed it was him. At the end he disappeared into bedroom and came out as Daddy - cue kids going - daddy daddy you missed him! I thought they were 'playing' that SinterKlaas was real, until ds was 7, and as SinterKlaas approached (back door by then, with a window in it) his face fell and he said - But it's Daddy dressed up!

It is why it is so important to be careful what they watch and see on screens, as to them it is not TV/film, acting, but reality.

Comefromaway · 03/12/2020 14:27

When he was little my husband told his school that his mum did drug runs for a living.

She was a driver for a pharmaceutical distribution company and delivered to pharmacies.

sashh · 03/12/2020 15:21

Not a school / nursery one but I was in a restaurant in Bristol

At the next table two nicely dressed ladies with nicely dressed children, about 6sh.

The little boy climbed under the table, sat with his back to a table leg and put his arms behind him and then asked, "Mummy, can you tie me up"

Mum just said, "no dear"

I occasionally wonder what the back story was and what he told his teachers.

TakingTheLowRoad · 03/12/2020 15:29

My son, aged 4/5 at the time, told his nursery that his dad beat me up after I returned from a weekend away in which I slipped on travertine pavement and knocked myself unconscious...two black eyes etc. Then, a few months later, he said the same AGAIN after I had a fall at home and split my head open.

zaphodbeeble · 03/12/2020 18:19

‘Daddy has a gun and he shoots people’ - Daddy is in the police armed response unit.

OverTheRainbow88 · 03/12/2020 18:21

My son keeps telling his preschool on a Monday that we’ve been away for the weekend to the seaside... we really haven’t and it makes it sound like we keep breaking lockdown rules.

formerbabe · 03/12/2020 18:22

I remember my first day at school being told to draw a picture of someone in our family. I drew my father in a dress and it was put up on the wall much to my parents horror. My father didn't wear dresses but I vividly remember thinking as a four year old that it would be really funny to draw daddy in a dress because daddies don't wear dresses.

My ds went on a playdate where he told the parents that I just sit on the sofa drinking wine all day. I'm virtually tee total. I never drink at home.

AtTheWinchester · 03/12/2020 18:33

During a Q&A my DD4 asked her teacher why mommy has fur on the front of her bum and not on the back?
DD told me about this casually at dinner time when I asked her about her day. Her face was so plain I have no doubt that this is true