What my DD told nursery - make me feel better please

[Retrovibe89]

This is probably going to be such a non issue but this is my first child so the first time I’ve encountered this. DD is almost 2 and apparently told one of the staff at nursery today “mummy naughty. Mummy shouting. Daddy crying” so they have just been on the phone and I think they think I abuse my husband please make me feel better that this is just toddler rambling!!!!

MY poor mother had to deal with no end of this nonsense.

Once I was pratting about with my friends with the bunsen burners in the chem labs and a drop of melted plastic landed on my leg. It burned a perfectly round hole straight through my skin on my thigh and, since it was v hot simultaneously cauterized the wound. OBVIOUSLY I didn't tell the teacher and he's have had my guts for garters for being so stupid and breaking about 20 rules.

The burn was later spotted by my tutor who asked what I'd done, my half arsed brush off vague explanation didn't cut the mustard and since it looked like a cigarette burn I got put on a sort of watch list as potentially being abused and my mother had to deal with the fallout.

Additionally I competed at a very high level in a sport where you hold on to your teammates arms. Sometimes it is necessary to hold quite firmly. I bruise like a peach, so I used to have visible hand print shaped bruises on my upper arms and forearms frequently. In exactly the same place as they would be if someone grabbed you/held you shook you etc. not to mention assorted evil looking bruises all over the rest of me.

I've no idea how often my mother had to field the calls and investigations. poor woman.

The most stupid thing about it all was that the school was well aware of my participation in the sport, as I regularly had time off in term time to compete overseas. Plus i was a confident and chatty child who happily explained and showed off my bruise collections.

These stories are great!

I always remember my DCs' reception-year teacher saying, 'We promise not to believe all the things they tell us about you, if you promise not to believe all the things they tell you about us.'

DS1 wrote in his book in about year 2 that 'Daddy is lots of fun and plays football. Mummy is a doctors and she shouts' 😟
I remember telling my teacher in the 70s that my Dad made bombs - technically he was a safety engineer for a company that made bombs but still....

4 year old DS told his teacher that "Daddy has gone away". Cue worried teacher checking that everything was ok at home. DH had gone on a 3 day training course.

My oldest announced in front of nursery workers when he was 2, "Mummy why do you always kick me?'
Needless to say I had never ever kicked him.

Friend of mine was a nursery teacher. One day she asked the children what their mummies called them.

They piped up with, ‘Honeybun, my little sweetie-pie,’ etc.

Until one little girl said, ‘My mummy calls me a little cow. She says, ‘You little cow!’ 😱

Lol. My DD when she was 3 years old told her nursery very sadly that I lock her in car boot! It came out of nowhere...she had never even sat in the car boot, let alone been locked in it. Luckily the nursery had known me since DD was 11 months so after a short interrogation they let it drop. To this day, I have no idea what was running through my DD's little head.

Bless them.

We laugh about it now.

@LisaLemon

I'd just ignore it.

However if your husband really was crying in front of her then this isn't great. Was he?

Really? Why wouldn't it be OK for a child to see a man expressing emotion?

When I was about three someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I replied “I want to be an alcoholic like my mum.”

My mum turned up to an early parents evening of mine to find I had written and illustrated a story from the weekend, ending with the words ‘then mummy hit me and I cried’ To be fair, this was probably true, I was born mid-70s and things were different. She as quite mortified to see it in my diary though.

When my ds was 3 yo we walked into the local Tesco to buy some cakes as his treat. All happy and fine. The minute we passed the security guard he went from singing and skipping to stopping and screaming "you're not going to hit me again mummy are you? Please don't hit me!"

I have never laid a finger on him

Not me, but ages ago I was with a friend and his four year old. Former was trying to put shoes on the latter. There was a lot of "You always hurt me, you old brute!" which I thought was brilliant vocab .

My DD told nursery that DH wasn't her real dad, it was actually [best mate's dad], and that he was going to pick her up that afternoon. Cue massive confusion when I turned up at pick-up time and cries of "I want Cliiiiiive!" the entire way home, including past Clive's house.

My friend told me her DD told nursery that ‘daddy hits mummy but only on Saturdays’ 😂 Eagerly awaiting my turn 🤨

@Benjispruce2

This works in reverse too. Children often tell parents an embellished version on school day incidents.

The Head, when child 1 was due to start school, told the parents Don't believe everything your child tells you about what goes on in school and we won't believe half of what they tell us happens at home! The site constantly has parents up in arms about what their child says happened in schools, take the trouble to find out what really happened before going ballistic!

On her first day at nursery, DD (aged around 3) told staff at nap time that she 'needed a sherry to get off to sleep properly'.

I’m on the flip side of this. I work in a school and recently a child told me very sadly his dad was in hospital as he had found a lump. My heart sank. He proceeded to tell me the lump was on his bottom and had puss coming out of it ever since he squeezed it on holiday. Had to finish said conversation with a straight face and reassure him daddy was probably going to be ok.

My mother is 85 now and still recalls my older brother's description of her put up on the wall at parents' evening. "My mummy is little and fat. She drinks brandy and smokes cigarettes". All true though.

Oh my word, some of these are hilarious😂

When DSD was about 4-5 she couldn't stand me, I couldn't so much as touch DHs arm without her smacking my hand away shouting MY DADDY! She loved DD though so we used to go on days out together sometimes. Once we were at a theme park and DH went to the toilet. DSD tried to follow him into the crowd, I tried to stop her leaving and she SCREAMED "NOOOO, you're not my mummy! Help, help! Shes not my mummy, help!" Etc etc, it was a crowded park, lots of people were staring not sure what to do, I had to let go of her in case someone called the police and because she was fighting me like a wildcat and she bolted through the crowds towards the exit, I had to leave DD (who was unhelpfully laughing her head off at the whole thing) to chase her and then when I caught up she did it again! Then DH came over and she was like butter wouldnt melt again and held both our hands to walk back to DD most embarrassing experience of my life.

My son told the nursery that me and my MIL had poisoned him after watching snow white

My nephew (aged 4 and a holy terror) once escaped from our family group at Mass (Irish Catholic) and ran up the aisle to the altar. I was sent up to retrieve him and when I got there, he cowered and shouted 'don't hit me ... again!' The child had never been hit or smacked in his life!

My DD1 convinced her teacher and the head that we were emigrating to Australia. It went on for months and only stopped because her teacher asked how the visa was going. How they thought an unemployed single parent family with 4 children could manage that I have no clue.

I went to collect DGS up from Nursery, I told them who I was, they spoke to him and he said no. They locked me in the porch then rang his mum. They'd asked him if I was his grandma - no I'm not. I'm his Nona. Asked him if I was Nona, 'yeah, she's my mummies mum'.

I used to play in a friendly poker game once a fortnight and as it was in the next village I stayed over with my friend and his wife who were both workmates. One of my DDs better moments of parental embarrassment was when she brought home a picture she had drawn in school. It had me, friend and friend's wife all holding hands beside a big bed and a speech bubble saying "Let's play poke her". DDs teacher had clearly seen it as she had put a smiley face on it and a comment along the lines of "That looks like fun, lovely picture DD".

DS in his work book I read at parents evening span a gripping yarn in which he drank my blood and was taken to hospital.

All true. A gruesome breastfeeding story I didn't really want to be sharing with the teacher in explanation.

My 4 year old is the worst for making up stories like this. I remember him telling me that my brother had hit me so my dad had hit my brother. Never happened. He also insisted that my dad had hit me. My dad is the gentlest man I've ever met and due to Parkinson's cannot even hold a cup of tea, so unlikely to hit me .

It does work both ways though as he also told me that his teacher told him that all girls are stinky .