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My husband is tired. I thought I’d better tell you all

394 replies

FlamingoAndJohn · 10/07/2020 17:22

There has been so much huffing and puffing around the house about how tired he is that I think he wants everyone to know.

OP posts:
Lovingitinlockdown · 01/08/2020 23:04

@coffeeagogo busted! Love it 😂😂

Sweetpea1532 · 04/08/2020 16:41

Surely all of your DHs aren't over
their tiredness or has there been a miraculous cure for the man-tired? Any more stubbed toes? Smashed fingers? Sore muscles from lifting newborns? Exhaust from playing several rounds of golf?
It truly is a MIRACLE!

PickACoolUserName · 04/08/2020 16:50

Oh god, my DH is always tired, but today he has a "migraine".

Now, his migraines aren't like my migraines where I get aura and then am unable to see properly. His migraines only have a sore head as a symptom. He also never used to suffer migraines, he used to get headaches. But they've been upgraded in the last six months or so.

Obviously, the migraine involves sitting at the dining room table at lunch breathing deeply with his head in his hands so we can all see just how much he is struggling. It also involves leaving a token amount of sandwich (but strangely not any crisps or KitKat) because he feels sick (though this symptom disappears quickly when he goes into his home office and smuggles in some biscuits).

Strangely, the headache sorry, migraine, does also not appear to effect his ability to laugh and joke VERY loudly with colleagues over Zoom.

The shuffle has also made an appearance, and I'm expecting the Dressing Gown Of Doom to arrive shortly.

Happynow001 · 04/08/2020 16:59

Gosh @PickACoolUserName

If your DH reacts like this to a headache "migraine" HOW on Earth would he feel if he had to go through umpteen hours of labour, I wonder?

Menaimum · 04/08/2020 17:12

This thread is absolute GOLD but "high functioning for a man" is one of the best descriptions I've ever read and I'm so happy to have found this perfect label for my DH. Thank you all so much!

PickACoolUserName · 04/08/2020 17:21

@Happynow001 he actually complained about a headache during my 14 hour labour and then told everyone after how difficult it was for him because he didn't have any paracetamol Hmm

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 04/08/2020 17:22

I’ve suggested a ‘tired’ box like a swear boxin our house. It’s all a yo e says😖

Happynow001 · 04/08/2020 17:30

[quote PickACoolUserName]@Happynow001 he actually complained about a headache during my 14 hour labour and then told everyone after how difficult it was for him because he didn't have any paracetamol Hmm[/quote]
O. M. G!! Do you think some (most?) men have a missing link or a random piece of DNA to actually think anything like this is acceptable? 🤔

RobinHobb · 05/08/2020 07:39

I am kind of reassured now that my DH has not genetically been left behind, and his tiredness is on par with the rest of them. Mine too, complained of tiredness during my labour..... Also decided it was taking too long and wandered off to get himself a macdonalds. I didn't really notice (due to various reasons, but mostly being preoccupied with squeezing a baby out of my uterus) but I do remember sitting on that fucking birthing ball and looking around between contractions and he held out the packet and offered me a chip. I had no words.

Cannotcope4223 · 05/08/2020 07:54

fromage Cracker!!

sweetieno · 05/08/2020 07:58

@FlamingoAndJohn

There has been so much huffing and puffing around the house about how tired he is that I think he wants everyone to know.
Christ what a manbaby. They really are oversized children. 🙄
AliasGrape · 05/08/2020 08:20

Laughing at this thread.

DH is also relatively high functioning for a man (love that!) but we’re not long home from hospital after having our first child. I was induced Tuesday morning, pains started fairly immediately, waters broke, back and forth to hospital a few times, no beds in delivery suite, back to back baby with head in awkward position, active labour for over 15 hours, failed epidural, got an infection, blood pressure and heart rate went haywire and ended up with EMCS and fairly heavy blood loss. On overcrowded postnatal ward that was hotter than the sun for a few nights afterwards, basically didn’t sleep due to heat/ noise/ crying newborn/ inability to breast feed so having various midwives squeeze painfully and unsuccessfully at my nipples then hook me equally unsuccessfully to an electric pump every two to three hours.

DH to be fair was a trooper for most of that, but did induce overwhelming rage in me by pointing out how hard it was for him that he had to sit in an uncomfortable chair for much of the time. Since we’ve been home he’s the tiredest man in the world and I know it’s killing him not to be able to mope off to bed ‘for a nap’ on account of his extreme tiredness and probably ‘coming down with something’ - which I’ve previously either indulged or ignored - because it’s very clear who is still suffering more. He did actually hand me something after the midwife had painfully removed my dressing yesterday and I was getting my breath back, saying ‘do you want to just put that in the bin’. I just looked at him with great meaning and he shuffled off to the bin.

Oh we’ve also had a resurgence of an old football injury - seems to consist of his feet hurting and ‘not being right since that time a few months ago remember?’. I don’t remember I just told him he might consider buying his shoes somewhere other than Sainsburys to see if something more supportive would help.

WHY are they like this? He’s very caring and does definitely do his share. I know he’s been a bit shaken by how hard it’s been for me having DD and he does do everything he can to support, it’s like he just needs acknowledgement that it’s very hard for him too. I can’t be arsed giving it right now though I’m sure his mum will oblige.

Sassenach85 · 05/08/2020 08:21

Laughing at this thread whilst pondering how to stop ds from becoming like this! Dh is very good at making me sound like the devil for not pandering to his tiredness and illnesses! I’m so cold and uncaring lol

Tempusfudgeit · 05/08/2020 08:42

Anyone relate?

My husband is tired. I thought I’d better tell you all
EatsShootsAndRuns · 05/08/2020 09:16

He did actually hand me something after the midwife had painfully removed my dressing yesterday and I was getting my breath back, saying ‘do you want to just put that in the bin’

I'm vaguely impressed that he's not in A&E having it removed from his colon! Grin

Camphillgirl · 05/08/2020 09:20

My OH is always complaining of blisters when he buys new shoes. Funny I always buy him shoes half size larger and they always fit better and no blisters. He is 69 so should know by now.

southernbelles · 06/08/2020 08:20

@SlightyJaded

Ahhhhh yes, another sufferer here.

Poor DH is also surprised to find himself exhausted after doing, broadly, fuck all, today.

He has a special routine for letting me know.

He begins with doing the ‘actions’ – yawny, wide-eyed surprise face. He might puff out a breath as though caught off guard by this unexpected exhaustion. He might even freeze in his tracks with a hand on a drawer where the screwdrivers live as though he was genuinely about to do something useful but, to his great disappointment, finds he can barely stand, so exhausted is he.

This is ignored by me, so then he will suddenly flop down onto a chair as though he is gutted he can’t go for that 10K run. This is done with a sort of flopping-flourish and usually accompanied by gentle eye closing for a few seconds. He can't keep them closed though because he has to make sure I am aware that the charade is playing out.

As long as I am stoic and ignore this, he will look at the cooker and ask “Is it really only eight thirty?” as though he has had major surgery whilst suffering jet lag. I either treat this as a rhetorical question or I might distractedly say “Oh I think it might be a minute slow”. Often at this point, for a bit of fun, I will ask if he fancies nipping up into the loft so we can get ‘that box/those bags/anything I can think of’ down. This is met with a look of sadness. He SO wants to but he really has a bad case of The Tired.

At this point, he can’t really hold out any more and has to share his Tired with us all. He might say “God I really am extraordinarily tired. Bone tired actually – I might need to lie down”. I usually can’t help myself and will often tell him “You do that. I’m just going to take the bins out/move the chest of drawers. But once I did say, “Oh do you mean like when I used to get knackered in the first trimester with DC2? When I could almost sleep on my feet” and he gratefully replied “Yes! Like that! Weird isn’t it?” Hmm

I left the room.

Oh my god, this!! I could have written it, honestly.

We both have the beginnings of a cold; I am currently up with our toddler getting him ready for the day. DH treated us to lots of sighs & deep breathing first thing while attempting to get out of bed, & even got so far as to sit on the side of the bed with a glass of water groaning before determining he couldn't possibly get up. I can now hear him moving around up there & I can absolutely guarantee he will come down, do the wide-eyed surprised face, & puff out while saying 'don't know what happened there' referring to falling back asleep. After many years of this display I generally ignore it, so he will continue blowing air out in a dramatic fashion, along with mooning around the place being a martyr. He'll probably add a little monologue to himself in his ill voice (that's just loud enough for me to hear) about how he'll 'just try to get (job) done if I can'. I love him but my god!!!

FlamingoAndJohn · 10/08/2020 16:55

I’d like to inform the MN masses that not only is he tired (he works in education and therefore hasn’t been to work for the last 3 weeks) but he’s also hot. Very hot. No one else can possibly understand how hot he is.

OP posts:
ivfdreaming · 10/08/2020 17:03

@FlamingoAndJohn

Silently dying with laughter inside

My DH is so very very tired and so very hot too. 🤣 So he's gone to boil himself like a lobster in a hot bath....

Meanwhile I'm pregnant with twins, WFH and parenting 🤦‍♀️

thelistener · 10/08/2020 17:21

I fear my DH may be the source of this pandemic! I cannot remember a day when he wasnt so exhausted he could manage anything after SITTING behind the wheel of a lorry all day that has automatic braking and transition!!!!
Sorry all

thelistener · 10/08/2020 17:25

I have a friend (male as it happens) who in this sort of situation announces he has pills for it .........

Man The Fuck Up pills!

gassylady · 10/08/2020 17:28

OMG mine is hot and tired too! And he was thinking he was the only one in the whole universe so afflicted. I must break the news that he is not in fact the last of his kind but actually very common indeed Grin Could we club together and send them back to their home planet do you think, although rushing anywhere to meet the departing mothership may prove very difficult especially for those with poorly toes!

SunsetOnTheHorizon · 10/08/2020 17:39

LTB

AuditAngel · 10/08/2020 18:20

I’m so happy I found this thread again. A couple of weeks ago, (after DH had been back from furlough for a full 3 weeks whereas I have wfh all the way through) DH told me he “really needs a holiday”!

Yet, he spent 3 months telling me he was on holiday (furlough) and crowing that I was having to work and had “volunteered” for a 20% pay reduction whilst working longer hours than normal.

I nearly imploded. I did ask him if he was having a bleeding laugh?

peaceanddove · 10/08/2020 19:23

My DH is working crazy hours at the moment, so his tireditis is justified. What isn't justified is his deciding in the small hours to see if he might perchance sleep better in not just one, but two, of our spare beds. Like fucking Goldilocks! I made both beds up with clean linen only yesterday!