Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

When I was a student I worked on check outs at Tesco. It was a big, busy store with a metal roof and when it rained it was really loud and quite hard to hear.
I was serving a customer and he said something to me which I missed so I kind of done a fake laugh (assumed it was just the usual customer banter about prices of things, not being able to open the bags etc). Then he said something again. So I laughed again. Then he said “Well have you?” I stared at him blankly. “Have you got a plaster?” And raised his hand to show a bleeding gash on his index finger. OMG so awkward. I was only about 17 at the time and was the most timid little thing. I can laugh about it now.

I've just posted this on a different thread but it's one I always cringe at although probably doesn't sound much.

I'd started a new job and it had a big drinking culture, I just don't really drink. They invited me to after work drinks once for a 'lemonade' (their words). I got to the bar first so ordered three lemonades for everyone trying to be friendly. I was mortified to realise lemonade was some sor of code for alcohol that I didn't realise about. The rest of the evening was so awkward whilst they sipped a lemonade they made very clear they didn't want. After that it was blatantly obvious I didn't fit in so they never invited me again

Ahhh @molifly14 that’s so sweet. You not the lemonade!

@molifly14

I agree it is sweet - and if they were nice people they would have made a joke out of it and moved on.

I learned to drive when I was 18. I was also in my first year at Uni but living at home. My parents were pretty over protective and had put their foot down on me moving away for Uni. My driving instructor was a lovely older man and he had previously expressed surprise about me living at home during uni and spoken about how his (now adult) children had found the move away from home to be incredibly important in gaining independence and learning about life. Anyway, this one day, as I was stopped at a junction, he asked me if I was planning to move out in second year. I broke down about how friends were looking at flats and wanted me to move in with them but I was too scared to broach the subject with my parents but I also didn't know if I could take another year of the current situation. After weeping and wailing about this for a bit, he said "well, that's all very interesting but I was asking if you were planning to move out in second gear. You've put the car into the wrong gear and will stall if you try to pull away from this junction."

The rest of the lesson was very quiet and awkward.

@HalloumiFries
I had to live at home in the first year of university too for very similar reasons and feel your pain. I felt like a fish out of water in a desert! I got the degree but never had the proper 'uni' experience...

I once went to an interview at a posh city firm. For some reason, I started crying in the interview and had to grab my bag and run away! No idea what that was about!

Birdie 😁 At my interview at big city firm when the partner realised I was from Bristol he asked “oh which school? I was as St Posh“ (grandest Public school in Bristol). I had to admit I went to Bash Street Comp “oh not heard of that one” cringe. Got the job though 😁

Bash Steet Comp, well that's a blast from the past

I worked in an office where the cleaner was polish. She didn't speak very good English but she got by and we kind of understood each other. One morning she had been in and out of the ladies toilets cleaning them. She came into my office and and asked "Lizzie you change tampon?"
I said "no not me Eva I don't have periods I have a condition that stops them"
She repeated "you no change tampon"
Again I say "no not me must have been someone else"

Then she pulls out a ten pound note from her apron and says "no change ten pound for bus"

Oh my god I could have died

@tilpop cringing a little bit for you right now 🙈🙈

While on holiday in Austria, my friend and I booked a spa day at a naice hotel. Neither of us speaks more than a few words of German.

I went into the treatment room for my massage, the masseuse greeted me in German, said something I couldn’t follow, and then withdrew. I assumed this was my cue to strip off. I was a bit surprised I hadn’t been offered the usual paper undies, but decided I was being a prudish English gal, and should do as the locals obviously did and go naked under my towel.

I’d just finished undressing when the masseuse returned with a basket of paper knickers.

Another one.

I'd just started a new job, my first senior position. I needed to talk to another member of the senior management team about a specific project but our diaries were not aligning. She suggested that we could meet before the start of the working day, saying she normally comes in from 7am. I am not and have never been a morning person but didn't want to appear difficult or unprofessional so just said that "mornings don't work for me" which she then translated as me needing to do the school run. I have no dc but stupidly just nodded along, not realising at that point how often my path would cross with this woman at work and how she would ask every time about "the boys". She announced her retirement soon after I joined the company so I decided to just style out the misunderstanding and for the six months we worked together, created a whole narrative about "the boys" and how they were getting on at school.

When I was about 18 I was at a disco and it came to the slow dance section at the end. A very good-looking guy came over and said something to me. As the music was very loud, I presumed he was asking me to dance. I smiled and started to make my way on to the dance floor. He then said "I wasn't asking you to dance - i just wanted you to hold my beer while I dance with my girlfriend".

The expression "I wished the floor would swallow me up" never seemed so apt. oh the shame

@ Aimee99 you had me crying with laughter

I have so many unfortunately.

I worked in a school office doing temp work in my mid 20’s. I was regularly asked why I was out of the class rooms during lesson time. Admittedly I do look really young but at the time I was really embarrassed.

I was parked at our small local petrol station waiting for a free pump and all of a sudden I’ve seen my DB who lives 140 miles from me, stood at the front. I stood on the kick panel of the car and started frantically waving and calling his name. DB stares at me and points to himself and says “me?” And I keep waving saying “what you doing here?” It then dawns on me, it’s wasn’t DB at all. I slunk back in the car, reversed off the forecourt and drove off. God knows what the poor bloke must have thought

I used to own a greengrocers and would close between Christmas and new year. First day opening I’m sat reading a book and a customer comes in. For reasons even I don’t know, I lean across the counter and give her a massive hug and kiss on the cheek. She then looks a bit and asked for her order. I just had to style it out and pretend it was normal behaviour

Many moons ago, I met then BF, now DH’s extended family for the first time. When his Aunt came to leave, she was giving everyone a hug goodbye and when it came to me, I went to turn my head away and so did she. Ended up kissing her on the lips. 17 year old me could have happily disappeared in to the ground

On our wedding day DH was downstairs meeting the reverend. He told me afterwards he was asked if he had kids and he blurted out “yes 3.” (We had none!) the reverend then went on to ask their ages and names while poor DH said “names and ages of what?” The reverend said “of your children...” DH just stood there muttering while DFIL had to interject and explain he was just really nervous and we in fact did not have children. Poor bloke!

He told me afterwards he was asked if he had kids and he blurted out “yes 3.” (We had none!)

This is hysterical

When I was young, like 16 my dad worked in an office space, the kind of building lots of different people rent office rooms. Anyway there was another man who worked in the office next door, he was much older than me, 20 years atleast and had a huge crush on me (thinking now he was pretty weird) but he also had a girlfriend who rented another office in the same spot. I didnt know her, I saw her once on twice from a distance and I knew her as shell (nc). Anway they broke up, I enjoyed a big flirtation with the guy but nothing ever really happened even though he wanted it to he had a habit of going after women much much younger then him. Years later when I was about 21 I was working in advertising and went into a building similar to the first trying to book adverts from local businesses. I went into one office and started speaking with the woman and she was like "you're Steve's daughter right? I'm michelle, I used to be over the road" and I was really confused about who she was and how she knew me and actually replied "sorry I dont know you" 🙈 it was super awkward and she seemed pretty pissed with me so I left

It was weeks later it clicked that michelle was actually shell and she'd had to leave that building because her ex was a dick. I realised i probably made her feel really small that day but I'd only ever seen her from real far away and didnt know her at all it was totally unintentional. I still feel really bad, probably more because her ex was such a creep

so I kind of done a fake laugh (assumed it was just the usual customer banter

I did that once at a party and it turned out the guy was talking about gay people being incarcerated in concentration camps in Chechnya.

And was wearing a charity t-shirt raising awareness of the persecution of lgbt people.

And the party was (partly) to celebrate writing he’d done on the Chechnya camps

@DevilsAdvocaat I have a cork one too!
I was born in the north-east but lived near London until I was 13 when we moved back to a town in Northumberland. When I was 16 I got a Saturday job shelf-stacking in the grocery section of the town's department store. One day I was chatting to my friend while stacking the shelves when a customer asked me where the cork was. This was back in the 70's when cork tiles were quite the thing so I said that I wasn't sure, but probably downstairs near the paints. The woman looked at me a bit funny but went off so I turned back to stacking the shelves to find my friend was pissing herself laughing. When she could talk again she said the the woman was asking in her Geordie accent where the COKE was. I hope the woman managed to find it eventually .

I went to a really swanky restaurant with some new work colleagues. The menu was really big and there was loads of choice.

When the waiter came I said oh I don't know what to have, your menu is so extensive.

He misheard and thought I said expensive.

He kept saying thinks like, do you want a side salad? It's quite cheap. Bottled water or free tap water? Etc. I think he was trying to help but it didn't.

That was a long night.

Reading through these and laughing so loud! Had to add my own story before I forget it again - I tend to push them down into the furthest inaccessible parts of my brain as a way of survival...

I once went to Germany to work with some colleagues in an office there - as I went to greet my male colleague (there wasn't any sort of attraction there and we're both happily married by the way) by giving him a hug - we were good colleagues so this was not inappropriate - but I proceed to kiss him on the neck as I snuggle into his embrace!!! wtf. I can't even bear to think about it, I have always told myself he probably didn't notice. But he probably did, didn't he?

I've never actually told anyone this, feels good to let it out!!

Great first post CarrieMoonbeams and welcome.

@SwanneeKazoo @TrafalgarSquare you are making me feel marginally better!

When I was about 16, I had a jokey, flirty friendship with a boy from school, Tim, who had a long-term girlfriend. She had a different name to me, but the same shortening/nickname 'Cat'. We were out drinking one night and I had ended up in the loos with a group of girls who I found super intimidating, including the girlfriend, and I was desperately struggling to hold my own chatting with them.

After a few minutes, my Tim called round the door saying 'Cat - they're playing Smells Like Teen Spirit', to which I bounced up and said 'Cool - just coming' before realising that he was probably talking to his girlfriend rather than me! I still cringe about it sometimes - I'm sure she thought I was desperately after her boyfriend, which I really wasn't, but I was more in awe of her if anything!