Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[HavenDilemma]

@MaggieAndHopey Yeah it was. I casually mentioned it to the staff as I was leaving as they're very friendly and she just laughed

Funnily enough, I've also had another similar experience there...

I walked in once with my little girl and the place was pretty empty besides one Mum in the baby section which is right next to the seating area. I walked past her table and sat down by the window - right at the other side.
Right at that moment, this Mum jumped up and shot back to her table and grabbed her purse from her bag and went to sit back down in the baby area
This one could've been innocent but I did happen to be having a bit of a scruffy day that day. Hair scrunched up, dressed very casually. I may even have had ugg boots on (😱) and of course, as usual - no make up. It just felt like she immediately put me in the Jeremy Kyle guest category and it makes me wonder if she would've done the same if I'd been in my 40s rather than my 30s, dressed very very posh and had walked in with a child in the local private school's uniform for instance, if she'd have reacted in the same way 🤷🏼‍♀️ Thats a social experiment I'd love to do if it was possible to set up somehow

[HavenDilemma]

Or if I'd been very noticeably a Grandmother....

[TrafalgarSquare]

@DevilsAdvocaat I've got a pub one. I got a job as a barmaid, largely because, as I found out later, my friend had lied that I had loads of experience. I didn't know what the drinks were called but I thought I was doing a good job of picking it up. It was a village pub with regulars who had their own tankards etc, you know the kind of thing. Anyway a Scottish guy came in, leaned on the bar, sighed loudly and asked for 'a wee Grouse.' 'Oh dear' I said, 'Have you had a bad day?' 'A wee Grouse' he repeated. It went on for about five minutes with my insisting he could grumble away all he liked, I was all ears, until the landlord stepped in and gave him his single measure of Famous Grouse.

[Followthelight99]

The worst thing is when you mishear something and then realise after what they actually said!
That's happened to me a lot.

I remember one awkward moment when I was about 19/ 20 and had just started work in a Residential Home.
I was having my lunch break in the staff room.
The older lady sitting opposite me said casually, "Can you cook?"
I answered with "Well, I'm not great, but I manage enough to get by".
She then looked really confused and after a long pause must have realised what I'd thought she said, but didn't correct me. Instead she carried on with the conversation relating to the "Can you cook?", and said "Well, as long as you can cook enough to get by".

It was only later in the day that I had a "light bub moment" and suddenly realised what she had said. A new kitchen assistant had come into the staff room to fetch something and gone out again. The lady had asked me "New cook?".
I was thankful that she was too polite to correct me or embarrass me, but I still cringe about it even now all these years later.

[GetOffTheTableMabel]

We used to live in a small town. No cafes or shops with loos that people could easily pop in and use. There was a public loo with an automated door that required a 20p piece to unlock it.
I was stopped in the street by two girls who probably about 12. They explained that one of them was desperate for the loo but they didn’t have a 20p. They needed change for a £1. I looked in my purse. I had a 20p and a few coppers so I offered them the 20p and cheerfully said “It’s alright, you can have a wee on me!” They looked absolutely horrified and repulsed and ran away. I didn’t know where to look. I went straight home in case they alerted the police to middle-aged pervert shopper.

[lechatnoir]

Not a misunderstanding as such but quite possibly the most awkward moment I've shared with a room full of people was at a wedding when the best man opened his speech by toasting the groom and HIS EX WIFE . The whole room gasped and we all just sat in stunned silence before he went on with his speech after making a poor joke about it. The funny thing is he was best man at his first wedding and had been so worried about doing exactly that and tried to calm his nerves with one too many drinks !

I have one that is very common but I still cringe about - met a lady at antenatal class 15 years ago. We became friendly but for some reason I could never get her name right (think Katherine/Katerina) so just avoided calling her anything where possible. I bumped into her with DH one afternoon and it was clear I had to make an introduction so just opted for Katerina hoping for the best - all good she said hello and that was that. We met up occasionally but gradually drifted apart then she moved and that was that until I bumped into her at a mutual friends party last year - she didn't know I knew her so introduce her and yup, she was Katherine. I said nothing except how lovely to see her again and thankfully she didn't mention it either

[formerbabe]

Not a misunderstanding as such but I found myself in a truly excruciating situation and I still die inside thinking about it and wonder why I went along with it.

I was a member at a gym...there was a pool with a Jacuzzi. I was leaving and walked into the changing room in my costume dripping wet. A fully clothed woman had just arrived and had found some car keys on the floor and asked if they were mine. I said no. She then told me to go back to the pool and ask if anyone there drove a toyota.

No idea why I did it but I went back out to the pool and asked everyone swimming and in the jacuzzi individually if they drove a toyota? It was so embarrassing.

Why did I do it? Wished I just told her to hand them into reception

[arinah]

I always seem to have awkward moments with landlords/agents. I hate talking on the phone so I tend to email/send a message to let them know my husband and I are interested in a property. For some reason they look at my name and assume that I am a happily married gay man with two kids! It's gotten to a point where I'm tempted to have a signature that says PS. I am a woman 😩

[aliceinsunderland44]

I love these. Shameless placemarking for now but I'm sure I'll have a few of my own to share

[ddl1]

One or two of these have reminded me of the time I had an appointment with a new GP (the previous one had retired from the practice). She came into the waiting room and said something that sounded to me like 'come in'. I came into the surgery, and she started lecturing me about being late for my appointment. I was NOT late, and tried to tell her so, but she insisted that I was and continued to lecture me. I am always easily convinced that I have done something wrong and am in trouble, and the effect was enhanced by the fact that she had a similar voice to a stern administrator at work, of whom I was terrified.So I became convinced that I must have got the appointment time wrong. Then she claimed not to have the medical information, that I'd mentioned, in my notes and said she would have to phone through for it. A couple of times when on the phone, she said 'Emma' (not the actual name), I assumed that the person at the other end was called Emma, but then she said 'Emma' again, looking directly at me. The penny finally dropped, and I said, 'I think you think I'm someone called Emma! I'm not - I'm ddl1.' It turned out that she HAD thought I was someone called Emma Collins (also not the real name, but both that and the real name could conceivably be misheard as 'come' if one was expecting to hear 'come'). Evidently Emma had failed to turn up (or be brought - see next sentence) to her appointment. Oddly enough, I actually knew Emma Collins slightly; she was 9 years old, and of a different ethnic group to myself, and I would have thought it impossible to confuse us, but of course the doctor had never met either of us, and probably had not read our notes in detail.

[Cosyblanky]

I was in a new teaching job when I asked a colleague if she had just started, as I hadn't seen her before. She replied ' No I haven't just farted ' Turns out she had just returned from maternity leave!

[Cordial11]

A boy I worked with had told me his 'pops' had died at christmas, I thought this ment his dad, I hadn't heard it used any other way.

Months and months later in another conversation , I for some reason said that I was sorry for his dad's passing. He was so confused! I just said I got mixed up with someone else

[BirdieFriendReturns]

I was doing volunteering on a maternity ward when I was 17. I was asked to take a baby to SCBU for some tests. The nurse was very friendly to me “how’s mum doing then?” and I realised that she thought I was the baby’s mum. I just went along with it as I was too shy to stop her!

Around the same time, I did some work experience on the children’s ward. I looked like a child despite being 16 or 17 and everyone thought I was a patient. Somehow I ended up having my blood taken because I felt too awkward to say no.

God knows what they thought of me!

[aliceinsunderland44]

Years ago when I was a teenager I went to my then boyfriends parents house for a big family meal with aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Sat around the dining table, boyfriends mum remarks 'I love your dress Alice!'

I remember feeling confused because it was a pretty old, plain, unremarkable dress but eager to impress I started gushing 'oh thanks, thanks so much, I've had it ages, I got it from x'. It took a few moments but from the awkward silence and weird looks i quickly realised that boyfriends mum was actually talking to boyfriends 7 year old cousin, also called Alice who was quite obviously wearing a Disney princess dress.

The final blow was when little shit cousin Alice piped up with 'no silly she means MY dress not YOUR dress, I bet you feel so silly now don't you?'

It was years ago but I still cringe about it.

[BirdieFriendReturns]

Oh and another one. I was staying at a hotel for work purposes and a smartly dressed woman came up to me and asked if I was there for the deputy headteacher’s conference. For some reason I said yes and ended up in a conference room. I sat there for a good few minutes before ducking out.

[Pepperwand]

I was doing some work experience at a very posh private boys school when I was about 19 as part of my teacher training pre-course work. I was quite intimidated as I grew up in a very working class Northern town and felt a bit out of place.

I had to observe a latin lesson and the teacher, a very attractive man probably in his 30s gave me a textbook to sit at the back of the class with and watch the lesson. At the end of the lesson he came over and held out a hand which I took and enthusiastically started shaking at which point he said "oh, I just wanted the book back." The whole class started sniggering and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

[Pepperwand]

Oh god, and another one from my 20s.

I was at a friend's party and got talking to two girls I didn't know. One of them was a very skilled artist and another one played netball for the county. I'm useless at sport or anything creative and said to them "Oh I wish I had a talent." One of them gave me what I thought was a bit of a cheeky, knowing wink and said "everyone's got a talent." To which I replied "oh, do you think it's something sexual?" I have no idea why I said it but she looked absolutely horrified and said "NO" very loudly and walked off. Didn't speak to them again after that but I still cringe about it years later.

[MooChops89]

A few years ago DH and I were viewing a rented house. We got on really well with the landlady and really liked the house. At the end of the viewing as we're leaving the landlady leans past DH to open the door but DH misunderstand and goes in for a hug! Luckily landlady found it hilarious and said oh go on then we'll hug it out
I remember it every now and again and laugh to the point of tears every time!

[justlikejasper]

I booked an appointment to go and see a mortgage advisor, i was buying on my own as relationship was fairly new but my boyfriend came with me. Walked into the estate agents where he was based and the guy came out of his office to greet us, he said hello Jasper to me, then held out his hand to shake my boyfriend's hand and said "ah you must be Jasper's dad" i said oh no that's my boyfriend cue the estate agents all pissing themselves laughing and the 3 of us standing there wishing the ground would swallow us up! OH is older than me but defo not an age he could be my dad

[Kraejka]

I'm fluent in German. I'm not bilingual but I've got to a stage where both languages are equally dominant - ie. I dream in both, I think in both etc.
I sometimes answer people in the wrong language.

A woman I worked with was telling me this story in English about some bloke she knew who only had one eye. Eier (ie. Eye-er, in German are eggs or slang for testicles). I kept hearing eye and instead of getting a picture of an eye in my mind, I kept thinking about testicles. And at some point in the conversation I asked "So how did he come to lose his testicle then?". Oh.. my... .... she looked at me like I was completely insane.... as did the 5 other people who were also listening to this story about the bloke with one EYE.

[formerbabe]

At lot of these imo just show up other people's bad manners.

So for example, in this situation

At the end of the lesson he came over and held out a hand which I took and enthusiastically started shaking at which point he said "oh, I just wanted the book back

He could have just shook your hand and said thanks for sitting through the lesson, then asked for the book back to save your blushes.

Or the family meal where the lady thought it was her dress being complimented rather than the little girls. The person who had paid the compliment could have just pretended she did mean to compliment her dress and then gone on to say how lovely the little girls dress was too.

Real manners and class are about making other people feel more comfortable

[CatkinToadflax]

Years ago I worked for a charity based near a well known football club. Some of the players used to attend the charity’s events and support us in various different ways.

On one occasion I was running a fundraising event and one of the players came along with his dad to be a “big name” at the event. We were also expecting an actress to come along, who had been in Eastenders but not for very long. She hadn’t yet arrived and I was trying to explain to the (very well known and very lovely) footballer and his dad who she was. So I gave a very brief resume of the Eastenders storyline and finished up with “and her character ran off with Robbie Fowler”. Famous Footballer gives me a look and says ”Robbie Fowler?!” Yes, I say, you know what Eastenders characters are like ha ha ha, blather blather blather....

It took me several hours to realise that although there were many Fowlers in Eastenders, Robbie Fowler was not one of them but in fact a very well known footballer. I’d meant Martin Fowler. And of course Famous Footballer actually knew Robbie Fowler, didn’t he. Of course he did. Oh the shame.

[InglouriousBasterd]

Oh god so many. I’m just so bloody awkward. Once at secondary I had been off with an awful heavy cold and when I went back I still had blocked ears and felt completely spaced out. I saw the back of my friend’s hairstyle and walked up and tickled her sides to say hi, she turned round and - yep, no idea who she was. I was still so spaced out I didn’t even apologise and explain that it was a case of mistaken identity, I just whispered in my cold-ridden hoarse voice ‘I don’t know you’ and walked off. Still cringe years on.

When DD was a baby I was pushing her in
A swing in the park and a lady was pushing her child next to us. General pleasant chit chat until she said ‘so one beautiful child - and one on the way too! Lucky you!’ Yes, my loose dress and baby weight = clearly pregnant. I mumbled no, and the horror on her face as she froze and said ‘that’s literally the worst thing I could have ever said, isn’t it’.

Oh god that’s reminded me of another - I was at a soft play and had a packet of small mints in my bag, I took one out and put the tin away. A few minutes later I saw a commotion where i had been sitting - I’d dropped a mint and a parent thought it was drugs. The whole place was in a panic as I tried to summon the courage to admit to it being a smint - luckily identified by a staff member before I had to fess up.

I honestly could go on for hours

[Pinkpepper9]

I asked my colleague who was drawing in her notebook book if she was bored. She sharply “yes love, I am bald”. I was too confused to give a response. It wasn’t until my colleague sitting across the room came up to me and said she has alopecia did I realise what she meant. It pains me every time I think about it.

[BendyLikeBeckham]

@Shuttup That happened to me on the tube, except I took the seat and just said thank you! I would have been too embarrassed not to