Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[thecatsthecats]

Our phone line was awful growing up. Cut out really badly all the time.

I picked up the phone one evening, and it was my mum's uncle's ex wife. She was very close to them both as they supported her a lot as a child and stayed close to her ex and my mum after. She thought I was my mum, then the sound cut on my side.

She'd been calling to tell my mum that her ex husband had sadly died, and took my silence my devastated anguish, and comforted "me" for several minutes before the sound finally cut back in.

Then I had to explain, and she had to go through the whole thing again with my actual mum.

[IKEA888]

I was 17 and travelled to my Saturday job by train.
Ticket collector on train n my first day seemed v pleased to see me
" wow havnt seen you for years... how are you? how's your mum?"
Me thinking I hit hadn't recognise him.. answered politely
Next week.
" Hi Jackie ( not my name ) so are you still living in x street ? is your mum still go in g to bingo"
Me being the shy type gave one word answers .
This went on for about 2 years every Saturday . It had got to the poor where I couldn't tell him i wasn't Jackie.
The life of an awkward teenager

[SomeonesRealName]

At the end of our tenancy in a student house the estate agent who managed the property had arranged to show it to a prospective tenant. He duly came round with a young man and a young woman and we exchanged pleasantries on the doorstep and then he said "SomeonesRealName will show you round" and left! I was most taken aback by this but I gamely launched into a show round, giving them a very frank warts and all account of the property, including the fact that the landlady who had the floor below was "ok but very racist". Finally got to the end of my tour and was showing them out the door when I finally clicked that they weren't a couple and that the young woman was from the managing agent and just happened to have the same name as me! There was nothing for it by this point but to stiff it out and wave them off merrily in their separate directions and then crawl off to cringe to my housemates, who of course thought it was hilarious!

[LEELULUMPKIN]

My arse is still clenching from one that happened to me about 30 years ago.

At the start of a new relationship with a very handsome, cool guy (couldn't believe my luck!) who lived in the city, the country bumpkin that I was was enjoying being driven by him, round all these exciting sights that I had seen only on the telly.

So engrossed in "the date" I failed to notice that we had entered a somewhat less salubrious area of town.

I immediately spotted two young women on a street corner dolled up to the nines, full make up, mini skirts, sky high heels.

"I wonder where they are going dressed up like that at this time of day? It's only 1pm!"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realised exactly where they might be going but it was too late, any coolness I had up to this point tried to project went straight out of the window.

No dear reader, I didn't marry him

[NuovaMoi]

I have one! I often think about it.

I got brand new trainers and decided to train for a half marathon. I was awkward about it in the first place but went to the gym anyway and got the courage up to talk to a gym instructor about training advice.

He said: your shoes look very shiny and new don't they.
Me: Oh, they're not mine, they're borrowed.

It … was … excruciating. I never went back.

That was 13 years ago and I still don't know why I said I was wearing borrowed trainers.

[LadyRenoir]

I once popped in for a parent evening for my younger sister with my Mum. My sis was in y 12 at the time. Her teacher finished whatever she was talking about and turned to me- "and which secondary school would you be going to?, will you be coming here as well?".
I was in my second year at university.
(To add, in my country secondary school used to start when you were 14/15, so equivalent of y9 or so)

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Years ago I was trying to get to work, but it was snowing and buses were hard to get.Stood with two other young women and chatting and talked about getting a taxi if the bus didn’t show and taxis were still running, but just generally nothing concrete.Anyway one woman ducks off to a phone booth and about ten minutes later a car pulls up and the two girls get in. Thinking they’d got a taxi I blithely said “oh can I share it with you to town?” And jumped in. Then they started chatting very friendly like with the driver and I realised it was their dad. Luckily he pulled in to a petrol station as I saw a bus pulled in. So I stammered my apologies and made a dash for it. Unfortunately it was the wrong bus and I ended up a way from work.

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I've told this one before on here but it can never be told too many times .

Years ago I worked in a team where, every Monday morning we'd have a very informal meeting where we'd update everyone else about the projects and assignments we were working on. It was a very jokey team, lots of banter and one day the manager joked that if one of the blokes didn't finish a certain task by Friday he'd be de-bagged (pants pulled down). The guy said "What I'll be teabagged?!" And everyone laughed. Our senior manager, let's call her Susan, then joked for the next week about teabagging people (she was very naive and clearly didn't know what teabagging meant). For example if we said "I'll get it to you later if that's ok" she'd say "you better had or you'll be getting teabagged!". We all just laughed to ourselves, she always used to come out with malapropisms and this was no surprise. She was a bit of a David Brent, always trying to fit in and be people's mate, so joined in with jokes even ones she didn't understand!

The next Monday we had a new starter, and Susan was inducting him. He attended the informal meeting and she started by saying "Now John you must know one thing - if you don't carry out the tasks you say you will, Keith here teabags you". And burst out laughing!!!! The look on John' face was priceless.

We obviously explained the misunderstanding to John and drew short straws in who would be telling Susan what teabagging really meant she thought it was when you burned people's arms with hot teabags 😂😂

[MaybeDoctor]

Years ago, I was rushing to go to work one morning when my car wouldn't start. There was no way of fixing this quickly, so it was a real problem. I was a teacher so mornings were already very stressful and I couldn't just be a bit late, as it would have involved organising supply cover and all kinds of bother.

Thankfully a lady just up the road was coming out of her house and asked which way I was going. I didn't know her but had an idea that her name was Pam. Thankfully she was going in the same direction and, with a small diversion, could drop me off really easily. I was so relieved and got into her car.

As she drove up the road she turned to me and asked me what my name was. I must have still been a bit stressed because I was thinking really hard about what her name was and how I would properly say thankyou. What came out in response was therefore a bizarre jumble of Pam and my real name, something like:
'Paaa...Margery'

I bought Pam a bottle of wine and then avoided her for the remainder of the time we lived there!

[AtaMarie]

Went out after work with uber-cool colleague after my first week in my cool new London job.

Her beautiful, preppy boyfriend showed up at the bar, where we were sat on bar stools. Colleague introduced us, and boyfriend bent down towards me. I kissed his cheek as it passed my face. He looked at me in surprise and slight disgust, so did colleague.

He had been leaning over to put his bag on the floor.

It's 20 years later and I still wince when I remember their faces.

[Mizydoscape]

Received a lovely Christmas card last year from OHs family, who we don't see very often but are my friends on social media. It read:

Dear OH, Jen and baby, Merry Christmas etc etc.

All lovely except my name isn't Jen. Jen is my OHs ex-gf and we have been together 9 years! I did laugh and they were mortified when OHs mum pointed it out to them!

[Clarabellawilliamson]

I had just started seeing a new guy and he asked me if I wanted to stay over at his that night. I said I could stay but might not be as much fun as normal because it was my pill free week. Me being euphemistic about my period went totally over his head! I meant contraceptive pill, he thought I meant ecstasy!! He was all 'oh right, I didn't realise you were into that kind of thing in such a big way' it took a while to work out what the confusion was....

[RedRec]

Just had to Google teabagging.

[Mishmased]

I have had a couple related to pregnancies.

First one: I was first pregnant in 2012 aged 25 but I don't look it. I remember being in a shopping centre and DH pointing out some secondary school girls giving me the eye thinking I was a pregnant teenager 😆

Second One: 2015 aged 29 pregnant with second child walking to the doctor, an elder lady maybe eighties held the door for me, I got then and said thank you. She put her hand on my shoulder and said very loudly 'what are you doing getting yourself pregnant so young when you should be sitting your inter-cert' I was in shock and all I could say was ehh I'm not young I'm 28. She looked at me and said 'give over' and walked away. Receptionist and others were in stitches! Inter cert was the old third year secondary school exams in Ireland (called junior cert) for the last 20 years🤣

Third one: Nov 2017 aged 31 we moved to a different county and my then 2 year old was due his development check at the health centre. I had just finished a night shift from work had 4 hours sleep and collected 4.5 year old from school. We were sat on the floor playing and this woman after walking pst two times stopped and asked if we're with a parent just at the same time my 4 year old blurted 'mummy is this the nurse' she was shocked, apologized and took us to her office and proceeded to ask if I had a social worker and almost fell off her chair when I said I had a husband!

Most recent last week at the work canteen manager asked how I'm finding working from home. I said quite tough with kids her reply you look way too young to be having kids.

[GorgeousLadyofWrestling]

This was last year but when I was very new in my dream job. We have a WhatsApp style messaging system and loads of different channels on it - most work related but some just random or general stuff. Colleagues post funny or interesting links.

I posted a link to an article about a huge organisation in the professional sector, related to my industry, who had seriously fucked something up. Some colleagues joined in with faces and generally dissecting how it could have happened and how crap certain divisions of this global company were. Until one person pipes up with “you do know our (awesome and lovely) CEO had a long tenure of 20 years at this company....”

I still die a little when I think about it.

[planningaheadtoday]

I'm going to die telling this but it was a monumental misunderstanding in my youth.

I was very stressed about the time I'd finished A levels. My parents had paid for me to sign up with a health club and spa to recover.

I'd paid for a full body massage and when I turned over the masseuse asked me if I'd like her best massage. I replied yes.

It turned out I'd misheard her and it was in fact a breast massage, professionally done alongside the rest of me. I didn't realise until she removed the towel.

I was mortified laying there on my back naked from the waist up. My shy 18 year old very British self felt I couldn't say anything as she had checked with me first!

[BlueJava]

That's is so funny OP, literally laughed out loud! How awkward.

I'm sure we have our own awkward stories! Mine is to do with a previous boss (we now get on very well though). When I first met him he ws in a serious down patch, seemed very moody and depressed. We used to sit next to each other. Every morning he'd come in and I'd say "Good morning" but he would never answer. He would only grunt, he'd bright up as the day went on but pre-11:30am he was shocking. After several weeks of the he come in one morning and I had decided to say nothing, he actually said "Good morning" but in my effots not to annoy him I replied very quietly at the same time as someone in another part of the office dropped something and he didn't hear me so it looked like I hadn't responded. He immediately replied "Don't say anything then" and went into a rant about how I'd insisted on saying good morning for weeks and now was rude because I didn't saying anything when he made the effort. We laugh about it now!

[Nameisthegame]

I cringe even writing this, my ex introduced me to his friends one was a ,little person (I’m sorry I don’t know the terminology 😫) the tall guy was called spike and I went to the other guy so who are you dog? Like why brain!?! I was 14 at the time but every now and again my brain goes why did you do that?

[mynameisMrG]

Just after we left uni a few of us were working in pretty dull, low paid jobs. We spent most of the day emailing each other. I had a huge crush on one of the lads in our group and emailed my friend to tell her what I planed to do about it. I hit reply all by mistake. Mortified

[Yelllow]

One time I went to the cinema and as the usher took my ticket to let me in he said "Enjoy the movie" and I automatically replied "Thanks, you too!" 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[BluntAndToThePoint80]

We were on holiday in Egypt many years ago when I was a teenager and were in a tour group being shown round the pyramids. There was a deaf lady with us In the group whose awful teenage children just left her to it, so my kind mum kind of adopted her.

The lady had a hearing aid but needed to see people’s lips really to be able to understand what was said. So my mum would stand next to this lady and repeat what the guide was saying at the front of the group. Unfortunately however my mum doesn’t have the best hearing herself and therefore speaks very loudly anyway, let alone when she was trying to help this deaf lady.

Anyway the tour guide was telling us how one type of pyramid was built in steps, and then the sides filled in with rubble and compacted down so it became a traditional pyramid shape. My mum however misheard herself and loudly told this lady about how the sides were filled in with rubber.

The deaf lady then asked loudly “rubber ?” and my mum loudly said “yes, rubber”. Well obviously our whole tour group heard (and probably some others nearby). My mum was mortified when corrected and spent the rest of the holiday subjected to jokes from the rest of the group about ancient bouncy castles !

It’s about 25 years later and we still laugh !

[MonaLisaUC]

Once, when I was in a seminar I was asked to read out loud. The passage mentioned Oedipus a lot. I ended up reading 0-edipus with the o and the e were not together! I don't know what I was thinking! I'd obviously heard of Oedipus. Nobody said anything and only realised after the seminar what I'd done. I was so embarrassed. Even 20 years on I feel like I need to contact everyone who was in the seminar to tell them how embarrassed I am!

[SewSilly]

In the USA a few years ago and chatting to a lovely couple. He said he was a woodworker, so I said 'what do you make?' Meaning e.g. furniture, he took it to mean what do you earn... very awkward!

[Laiste]

Not me, a friend - M:

was with an estate agent viewing a flat. The ceilings were covered with those ugly white polystyrene tiles. Estate agent notices M staring up at the tiles.

''Ahh yes'' he says ''the asbestos tiles ... you'd obviously want to get THOSE down'' and laughed a bit.
(he meant polystyrene!! he doesn't realise what he's said)

M is taking him at his word.
'' .... but ... i'd have to wear protective gear and everything ... oh god!''

Estate agent is (still not realising what he's said) -
''Well - - - they are ugly .... but i don't think they're so bad you'd need to wear a body suit ... ?''

Then they both stand there in confused silence together ....

M thanks him and leaves. Then in the car she twigs what's just happened and rings me. We laugh so much it HURTS

It's the agent believing M honestly thought you'd need to wear an Ugliness Protection Suit while removing them

So much of their polite confusion makes me laugh years later.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I met up with a boy I quite fancied during Christmas break from uni. He was a third year philosophy student and I was a first year. We were talking about the different philosophers that we’d been learning about and I mentioned Rousseau. He gave me a very odd look and said, “it’s pronounced ‘Russell’”. I was so bemused that I didn’t say anything. Later that day I realised that he hadn’t heard of Rousseau and thought I was pronouncing Bertrand Russell’s name with a pretentious French accent. I was both utterly embarrassed that he thought I was so pretentious and furious that I had allowed myself to be ‘corrected’! I still wonder when I think of that story whether he came across Rousseau later on and realised what had happened... probably not!