Great works of literature ruined by a single sentence

[Blandmum]

Idea stolen from the Time ed website

'Hey Godot, you're early!'

Please god spare me from that as well!!

If I never see another orc it will be a day too soon. I am on Disc 2 on the Return of the King.......I read it all some time 1980 to 82. I have obviously blocked out the truama from memory.

Agamemmnon "No, I can't possibly sacrifice my daughter to gain a favourable wind to sail to Troy, it's far too cruel".

Jane Eyre "Reader, I joined a convent".

Clytemnestra to Agammemnon.

"That's fine dear. You make all the decisions."

Dante's Inferno (oh, go on, humour me.. I had to...)

Midway through the journey of our life
I found myself in a dark wood
'Nice place for a picnic', I thought...

Miranda (to Caliban): 'You know, actually, I find myself strangely drawn to your unreconstructed masculinity'

Emma Bovary: 'Actually I prefer non-fiction'

Confessions of Zeno

'Once I got the nicotine patches, giving up was quite easy really'

Howard's End.

"Oh sod the umbrella."

lol

Wordsworth:

And why on horseback have you set
Him whom you love, your G&T boy?

The Tempest again

Prospero: Our Revels now are ended. I've even eaten the peanut ones (but I left the toffees for Caliban).

[Must stop and go to bed]

Pirates of Penzance

Nurse [adjusting hearing aid]: 'Oh right, I see... apprentice to a pilot.

[Really am going to bed now...]

LOL, Califrau!

Alternatively...

Pampinea: 'Let's take some DVDs'

"I know it's written in pencil but your mother wanted her to have Howards End so that's that"

Maurice, EM Forster:

Clive: "Phwoar, Maurice, check out out the jugs on her!"

Oops!

Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

I wandered lonely as a cloud ... but as it was still winter and bloody freezing there were no flowers out - Wordsworth

This is the version I like to use when I'm in a rush..

A mouse went walking in the deep dark wood
A fax ate the mouse and it tasted good.

'Do you know, I think I'd rather just have a nice cup of tea. And a digestive.'

Trainspotting.

Goodnight Moon

'Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Child'

''Guess How Much I Love you''

''That much''

''Oh. You got it in one...''

The end

An elephant! Oh no, I think I'll stay at home thanks.

Passage to India.

Northanger Abbey

Catherine Morland: Gosh, this book is a load of tripe. Everyone's reading it though. I'm going to go home, write a few of my own, and clean up.

To be or to go out to the pub?

I think I fancy a pint. Pub it is.