Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

To dh, your rations are on the side
To dm, how many toilet rolls do you have?

Yes of course you can download Fortnite.

I even miss the drive to Fleetwood.

And DH to me: do you mind if I do the food shopping this week?
Me: no I suppose it’s not fair if I get to do it every week 😂

He’s never done a big shop in his life!

Going to bed last night on the 14th day of self isolation:
"Only a few more hours until I can go outside! The sooner I sleep, the sooner morning will come."

Did you bleach that parcel?

How was Sainsbury’s baby, did you wash your hands and disinfect your shopping when you got back?

Said to my daughter by me today .

When dad picks me up, Tell him to stay in the car, I’ll sanitise my hands before i get in (as people touch the flat door handles).

Said by my daughter to me, as she’s coming home. ( yay)

Sad times indeed.

"Dont walk too fast, we cant get too close to these people the path isnt wide enough to overtake them."
We were walking our dogs and an older couple was strolling in front of us.

'boris says we're not allowed'

If you break any bones, you'll have to heal that way and have them rebroken in three months time - we are NOT going to the hospital.

'I know he likes to potter round the shops but we like him alive'

Joystir, I have also used the vulnerable rules - "sorry DCs, you're not allowed to stay in the same room as me so you're going to have to sort it out yourselves" 😂

"I'm thinking about closing down the -small businesses I've worked so hard for over the past 18 months-
😓

I heard Tesco had eggs yesterday.

I am talking to someone who isn’t a member of my household or on a screen. I’m so happy.

Hang on, I can’t open that letter yet as it only arrived this morning and I’ve not got any gloves.

Is [colleague a] joining us or is she still dealing with that tantrum? I know [colleague b] can’t join as she went to the supermarket and is still in the queue to get in.

And also, most memorably

Mum, you aren’t listening. You can’t just go out all the time. You need to stay home and stop being so irresponsible. Do I have to get Dad to talk to you about this?

There were bananas in the shop today!

“What do you do if your school friend walks past? Yes that’s right you step back and say hello but do not go over”
I was leaving my son in the front garden for a couple of minutes

"The PM has confirmed that we're allowed out for exercise once a day, the police won't catch you if you go out for a walk" - to someone worried the police would apprehend them should they venture outside.
It sounds insane!

'How do you stop the face masks going into your eyes?'

Said to a colleague today (im a nurse.)

'Did you have your once allowed daily walk today?'

Said to teen dd.

"Well, very sad circumstances but it is really lovely to see everyone" .. said absolutely everyone at the funeral I attended today.

Don't leave that hand gel on display in the car!

We need to frighten grandma as much as possible to make her stay inside. ( to DD before Skype call)

Why should we cross the road? Are there any people ahead?

@Mycatismadeofstringcheese me too!

I keep telling you not to go on the trampoline together. If you break your ankle we're not going to A&E!

Put a box of veg in the boot then if we get stopped we are delivering food to vulnerable pils.

^^ SHORT drive not been out for 9 days...

"I managed to get some soap, but only one" and "the butcher gave me a pack of paracetamol thank God". To be fair with the latter, I was eyeing up the Wilko cold and flu drink sachets in my cupboard to get me through my period this week, I really was getting desperate.

Hey son - did you hear I got a click and collect slot - it's in three weeks but we'll manage till then! errrrr we won't!