It’s a parking one!

[OhCaptain]

Get on fine with house next door. Kids play etc.

About a year ago, her sister started coming to visit every single day. Weekends too. Fine. None of my business.

So we both have double drives and both have two cars. DH also has a motorbike but there’s space to keep it on our drive.

I work from home so I’m out to drop the dc to school then pretty much back for the whole morning. DH is gone in his car from maybe 7am. Motorbike stays on drive until weekends really.

So next door’s sister has a big 7-seater. But she’s taken to partially blocking our drive with it so next door’s car can get in and out.

So she parks up in the morning, partially blocks my drive. And then sometimes they’ll head out in next door’s car and my drive will be blocked.

I can (with ball-achey manoeuvring) get my car on. But if anyone was to visit, or DH was to come home, they couldn’t park on the drive. And they can’t park in front of my house without then blocking other next door’s.

It gives me the fucking rage! It’s so inconsiderate! I’ve said it to next door’s and her answer has been to knock in if I ever need her to move.

DH is so laid back he’s horizontal so he doesn’t see it as a big deal. But it’s just so selfish and irritating.

I’ve come back and parked up right behind her, as in touching the bumper, so I haven’t blocked other next door’s.

WIBU to roll the motorbike out and block her car?? If I put it sideways it won’t block the drive I don’t think.

I hope I’m explaining properly. I need to try to figure out how to post a diagram!

@Mix56 - I just startled the 20yo by muttering "problem-solving penis" and sniggering. He's most bemused. "You know you're all insane, right?"

Nah. We're channelling NAWANDA from Fried Green Tomatoes. We're older and we've got more insurance.

Please use this song as the theme tune for your confrontation with THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.

I may have shared this story before.

My uncle came home one Friday, to find a car parked in his drive, nose up against the garage door. He calmly closed and locked the gates and parked his car in the road across the gates, blocking the offending vehicle in.

An hour or so later, a man knocked on the door asking him to move his car. My uncle said no, as he was settled in for the weekend and wasn't going anywhere until Monday morning.

The angry man called the police, who turned up and told him that as he was parked on private property - effectively trespassing - there was nothing they could do. Cue ranting man, who was then warned about his behaviour and use of foul language.

My uncle went to work on Monday, when he got home, the car was gone!

No repercussions and no further offending. Don't mess with my uncle!

Fried Green Tomatoes was a great film. Now, back to problem solving penis.

This could be a telly series. Can’t wait till tomorrow!

I would knock again and say it’s really not on. They are being inconsiderate and you are disappointed they can’t see that

War has been declared Chloemol.

Sabres are now being brandished, not merely rattled.

Your diplomatic interventions are about as useful as Boris Johnson's . . . .

Please tell him to waggle his problem solving penis at his SIL. If nothing else it may stop her coming round as much.

Am painting a cucumber flesh-coloured with an angry purple head so Problem Solving Penis knows who’s really boss during our confrontation.

Cucumbers can lose their rigidity unexpectedly - you know what I mean. They look proud and firm, but when you touch them they turn to mush.

Do you not have a courgette?

Wow this has made me laugh after a very boring day at work.

Can’t wait for tomorrow’s update.

I knocked in.

Sans cucumber, I’m afraid.

I couldn’t find a belt to hold it up.

Nice Neighbour answered, quite shamefaced.

I asked to speak to her and Problem Solving Penis.

So in I went to the lion’s den. Or the hallway of the lion’s den.

Me: That was an odd afternoon

NN: titter

PSP: Yes, NN said.

Me: well, we’ve known each other a very long time and there’s never been an issue so no point starting anything now. If you can just make sure Bull and all of your guests park elsewhere, we can just move on.

NN: hmm. Bull was quite upset.

Me: So was I.

NN: I didn’t think it would be a problem.

Me: well, it was really.

PSP: she was late collecting bull-calf so you can imagine how upset she was.

Me: *silent

NN: I’ll ask her not to park there tomorrow.

Me: if you want to give me her number, I’ll tell her not to park there tomorrow.

NN: titter

PSP: Is DH home?

*really

Me: No, why?

PSP: oh, I just wondered. I might pop over later.

Me: right well, I think that’s it. I did mention to Bull that it’s actually illegal to block my drive but I won’t call the guards. this time.

Lots of fake smiling and wishing each other a pleasant evening.

That was it! Not terribly dramatic, I’m afraid. DH will be given instructions if PSP calls.

Or I might just open the door and throw my cucumber penis at his head.

I love how uncomfortable PSP was with a woman sorting it out

she was late collecting bull-calf so you can imagine how upset she was.

OP bull calf has me CRYING 😂😂

A round of applause for you

I am prepping Garda Olaf though!

Trying not to give away any background clues but he’s coming together...

Fucking hell, bull-calf has just finished me off.

You're a legend OP

🙌🏻

I’m FURIOUS for you OP!

How DARE they fuck off out after you’d asked BULLOCKS to move her car! and you ‘nice neighbour’ went along too!

Bunch of arseholes!!

Entitled cf to the extreme!

I was wrong, Olaf has just taken things up a step.

Perfect , OhCaptain, just perfect.

I’ve only read the last page but fair play op you’ve seemingly amused half of Mumsnet today

OP - Next time simply park your own car where she parks to prevent her doing it. Simple.

Please tell him to waggle his problem solving penis at his SIL. If nothing else it may stop her coming round as much.

Choked on my coffee!

And as for bull calf ..... genuinely laughing out loud!!

You’ve handled this like a pro OP. 👏👏

Am painting a cucumber flesh-coloured with an angry purple head so Problem Solving Penis knows who’s really boss during our confrontation

Just spat out my coffee!