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It’s a parking one!

999 replies

OhCaptain · 02/03/2020 09:46

Get on fine with house next door. Kids play etc.

About a year ago, her sister started coming to visit every single day. Weekends too. Fine. None of my business.

So we both have double drives and both have two cars. DH also has a motorbike but there’s space to keep it on our drive.

I work from home so I’m out to drop the dc to school then pretty much back for the whole morning. DH is gone in his car from maybe 7am. Motorbike stays on drive until weekends really.

So next door’s sister has a big 7-seater. But she’s taken to partially blocking our drive with it so next door’s car can get in and out.

So she parks up in the morning, partially blocks my drive. And then sometimes they’ll head out in next door’s car and my drive will be blocked.

I can (with ball-achey manoeuvring) get my car on. But if anyone was to visit, or DH was to come home, they couldn’t park on the drive. And they can’t park in front of my house without then blocking other next door’s.

It gives me the fucking rage! It’s so inconsiderate! I’ve said it to next door’s and her answer has been to knock in if I ever need her to move.

DH is so laid back he’s horizontal so he doesn’t see it as a big deal. But it’s just so selfish and irritating.

I’ve come back and parked up right behind her, as in touching the bumper, so I haven’t blocked other next door’s.

WIBU to roll the motorbike out and block her car?? If I put it sideways it won’t block the drive I don’t think.

I hope I’m explaining properly. I need to try to figure out how to post a diagram!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Inertia · 02/03/2020 17:05

Can you get your husband to take his motorbike to work for the next few days, park his car legally on the road so you can take the kids to school, and park your car in the usual spot?

That way you can still get the children to school, but when the sister parks across the dropped kerb she'll be committing an offence by blocking the car in, and you can call the police .

Plannergirl9 · 02/03/2020 17:05

I'm glad your waiting for the man of the house to be home to sort this out as only a penis can resolve this situation. 🙄

What would us women do without the great and powerful problem solving penis? 🤣🤔🙄

sunshinesupermum · 02/03/2020 17:07

Do you have a strap on handy (one never knows) , then you'd have a penis to make him more comfortable when you're talking to him...

This!!!!

Biancadelrioisback · 02/03/2020 17:09

Shamelessly placemarking

BruceAndNosh · 02/03/2020 17:10

Lay Olaf on the ground with a chalk body outline around him then Police crime scene tape to reserve access

OhCaptain · 02/03/2020 17:14

Very disappointing amount of police tape left. Certainly not enough for a realistic crime seen.

OP posts:
TheStuffedPenguin · 02/03/2020 17:16

I'm glad your waiting for the man of the house to be home to sort this out as only a penis can resolve this situation

Well you can say that but in a similar situation I had the door slammed in my face by the neighbour ( male) - funnily enough he didn't do that when my H went round after work.

PsychoWiener · 02/03/2020 17:19

Best thread ever. Will surely become a classic. Problem solving penis killed me off!

YouJustDoYou · 02/03/2020 17:22

Halloween police tape, genius

FrockFrockFrockityFrock · 02/03/2020 17:22

I've caught up now.

Angry at Bull. Fuck you Bull, you self-righteous cunt!

Really angry at Man neighbour. Fuck you even more, you sexist prick!

Problem solving penis though has me LMAO.

I don’t have a strap on but I’m sure I could fashion something that could just proudly protrude from my nether regions while we straightened this whole thing out...

OMG, that's it. OhCaptain, I need to be your neighbour. You are wonderful!

SoupDragon · 02/03/2020 17:22

Is it anything like a magic wand?

You know those joke shop ones that go floppy? It’s like that.

How do you know...? 🤔

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2020 17:22

(Oh and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers or The Quiet Man is obviously where Man Neighbour gets his ideas from).

Absolutely - all of these wimmin just need to be put over the knee of a manly man, so that he can deliver them a damn good spanking!

BruceAndNosh · 02/03/2020 17:24

Very disappointing amount of police tape left. Certainly not enough for a realistic crime seen
Paint masking tape, back to back and a Sharpie?

OhCaptain · 02/03/2020 17:25

How do you know...?

👀👀👀

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 02/03/2020 17:28

I now have an image of Dinny roaring while Biddy manages him nicely and Miley looks on shaking his head, while a load of MNers are lined up standing on old fashioned school desks on the road saying "Oh Captain, my Captain" a la Dead Poets Society (perhaps while Captain quietly whispers "Tread softly or you tread on my dreams" from Yeats.... - I got halfway through an Emma Thompson movie in peace yesterday and the Yeats line had already come up twice!! I'm looking forward to finishing that....sorry that may be quite a derail.....and no, that's not where my name came from...)

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2020 17:35

Lets hope she parks responsibly tomorrow

NO!!!

This is thrilling!

I want to see it escalate (to at least bazookas) and the OP to emerge victorious from the rubble, wearing the entrails of her enemy as a necklace, and triumphantly brandishing the CF's ears on a pike!

OhCaptain · 02/03/2020 17:37

I want to see it escalate (to at least bazookas) and the OP to emerge victorious from the rubble, wearing the entrails of her enemy as a necklace, and triumphantly brandishing the CF's ears on a pike!

Well now I want this to happen, too!

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2020 17:39

Can you get your husband to take his motorbike to work for the next few days

No.

The motorbike is not for riding.

The motorbike is for polishing,

toofarbelowzero · 02/03/2020 17:40

These guys might help.

It’s a parking one!
UsainDolt · 02/03/2020 17:42

Oh Captain, my Captain.
You are fecking awesome!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/03/2020 17:43

Is there enough police tape to wrap around CF Bull car? Maybe a joke impound notice?

2020newme · 02/03/2020 17:44

Fabulous stuff OP - you have been very brave.

OhCaptain · 02/03/2020 17:45
Blush

@schadenfruede is correct. The bike is to be polished, admired, and wept over but never used for anything as mundane as work transport.

Or as a vessel of war, apparently.

DH is an unsupportive dry shite.

Am painting a cucumber flesh-coloured with an angry purple head so Problem Solving Penis knows who’s really boss during our confrontation.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 02/03/2020 17:46

I would knock again and say it’s really not on. They are being inconsiderate and you are disappointed they can’t see that. How would they feel if it happened to them day after day. Please don’t park across the drive. If it continues I would bother trying to get your car on the drive I would block there’s knock on the door with a breezy can’t get on my drive so am blocking yours let me know when you need me to move it. Then be in the middle of something and say you will move it in a bit

LizB62A · 02/03/2020 17:47

I've got a lifesize cardboard cutout of Darth Vader in my conservatory going spare.
I'd send it to help but poor old Darth will only end up going limp in the rain Grin