Can you please help me work out what animal I just saw

[YellowJellyfish]

In the UK driving down the narrow country roads when this animal ran/waddled across the road.

It was bigger than a cat, smaller than a badger, slower than a fox.

It kind of waddled, was quite round and had no tail.

I really can't think what kind of mammal it was.

Any ideas?

Are you in East Anglia? If so, then a coypu.
Apparently there are musk rats around too, but they have tails.

If you want to go back and see if its a Haggis OP I have a Haggis Whistle you can borrow ;)

water vole or bonking water voles so they look larger, or coypu which is 16-24 inches - they were eradicated in the UK, 'In 1989 coypu were assumed eradicated as only 3 males were found between 1987 and 1989' but maybe some were missed.

I'm guffawing at some of the suggestions from my work of art diagram! I've def found my career of choice, maybe I should be a sketch artist for the police!!

Voles, haggis etc, too small. Def not deer. It was a waddler. Short legs, big smile ... ok no smile. That was my overactive imagination

Not a sheep, pig, boar, zebra or any other farmyard animal.

It was very similar to a badger or brock as they are called around these parts. I see a badger or two most weeks, although admittedly a lot of them squashed at side of road. They are very common round here.

But it wasn't the right colouring or size.

For those if you who are saying it's a haggis!! It's not!!!!

I've drawn a lovely picture to explain the difference between the animal I saw and the haggis.

Ah, I see, a haggis doesn’t have a nose.

I feel I’m learning a lot from this thread.

A juvenile badger which had managed to coat itself in mud of whatever colour you observed? (Which would also make it more waddly)

Ah - I never realised haggis only had three legs.

“ Ah - I never realised haggis only had three legs”

Apparently neither did I 😂😂😂😂

What colour was the creature you saw OP?

I didn't realise Haggises/Haggisi only had 3 legs - I love MN, learn something new everyday.

Was this eyeless animal bigger than your car?

You need to get the military involved. For realz. It could be dangerous. Bumbling song blindly smothering things.

The wild haggis should definitely have 4 legs. Here's a section from the Wikipedia entry which explains.

the wild haggis's left and right legs are of different lengths (cf. Sidehill gougerr^ or Dahuu^), allowing it to run quickly around the steep mountains and hillsides which make up its natural habitat, but only in one direction.[2][3] It is further claimed that there are two varieties of haggis, one with longer left legs and the other with longer right legs. The former variety can run clockwise around a mountain (as seen from above) while the latter can run anticlockwise.[5] The two varieties coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed in the wild because in order for the male of one variety to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result of this difficulty, differences in leg length among the haggis population are accentuated.

A coypu? Maybe one that had lost it's tail?

My big pregnant arse waddling over the road?... it’s likely if there was either a seat, loo or Greggs on the other side.. I do have the temperament of a honey badger

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername and @AutumnRose1 maybe you’ve never seen a female haggis... the 4th leg ain’t for walking

Actually alonelyloner you will see from diagram 2 that it does have eyes!!

Yup those aren't bits of dust on your screen but indeed eyes!!

But I think you should do a diagram showing how a military operation for capturing a non-haggis goes!

[Throws down gauntlet, and backs away]

Name change fail 🙄

I suppose if it was at the bottom of a hill it might be a sad Male haggis which had rolled down the hill after a failed amorous encounter and hurt one of his legs?

I think you are in Gloucestershire. Fat Otter?

Coypu? They sort of waddle.
Smaller than a badger, brown.

I had what I think was the same type of animal run in front of my car in France last year. Coypu was the conclusion I came to.

The Smiling Not-Haggis
A Nonsense Poem by AutumnRose

Twas the night before nothing
And all through the lanes
Creatures were slumbering
Except - oh the shame

A crafty wee haggis
Who’d smoken a joint
Came strolling by Yellowfish
Driving her car

“What’s that?” cried Yellow
“So near, yet so far
I think it’s a critter
But as big as my car”

She watched for a while
And noticed his smile
His wonky legs
Which might have better placed
Tripod style

It took her a while
To get home
But soon as she did
She drew it for Mumsnet
It took them a while to get
Perspective

But considering folklore
And wild boar
And capybaras
(Nothing even scans with that)
We arrived at the conclusion

Either the creature be haggis
Or not
But whatever
He was definitely off his face.

Re badgers, all the ones I see are dead on the side of the road, and most of them are brown rather than black. So I’m guessing they’re young badgers, yet to learn any road sense?
From this less than scientific research, I put forward the theory that badgers start off brown and turn to black when they mature into adults.

Aaaaaaw!
As you can see even baby badgers have that distinctive stripy head so pretty identifiable. I SO want it to be twirlywoos suggestion though - I’d be interested to know what animal that actually is!

I would have said maybe a pine marten but they have tails.

I would have said maybe a pine marten but they have tails

But what noise does a pine marten make?