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Original poster

To ask the grossest thing your pet has done?

335 replies

QueenOfOversharing · 17/01/2020 22:20

I used one of those foot peel masks & was peeling the skin off. My beagle ran in & ate it all! 🤢

He also rolls in fox shit. And knocked over bathroom bin & took out tampon applicator & ... cleaned it 🤢

My staffy, when she was a puppy, ate the arses out of my DS' pants.

OP posts:
cheesewitheverything · 17/01/2020 23:57

We went to a lovely stately home and I left dh sitting on the lawn with the dog (big lab) while I went inside. When I came out, the two of them had clearly fallen out with each other. What had happened was that ddog had tried to hump dh in a very determined way (and he had a hell of a grip on him and DH had a bad shoulder at the time and couldn't fight him off) and once finally prised off, ddog vomited everywhere. Dh had nothing to clean it up with as everything was in my bag, so he had to scoop it up into an empty ice cream carton to get it to the bin, retching all the time. All on the front lawn, surrounded by people relaxing in deck chairs watching him. The two of them couldn't look at each other when I came out.

TattiePants · 18/01/2020 00:03

Cat number one took a dislike to one of our friends. Every time he can round the cat would crap in the bath by way of a dirty protest! Same cat would also chew my hair and I’d often wake up to him sitting on the bedside cabinet having a good chew. Not the worse thing to do until he would have a shit and I’d then have to run round the house as there’d be poo dangling out of him still attached to my (long) hair that he couldn’t pass without help!

Cat number 2 regularly took poo out of her litter tray (in her mouth) and hide it. She’d wait until it dried out and use it as a toy to bat around the wooden floors. I was at a work conference, sharing a room with a colleague. I couldn’t find something in my hand back so tipped the contents onto the bed and out rolled a dried up cat poo. No idea how long it been carrying that around.

We had a cat when I was a child that had a litter of 4 kittens but she kept picking them up and taking them to random places in the house. One day we came home and couldn’t find the kittens. Eventually one was found in the linen cupboard but 35 years later the other 3 have never been found. I still have a cat now, you’d think I would have learnt my lesson!

cinnabarmoth · 18/01/2020 00:47

We have 2 dogs, brother and sister. The male likes to wait in the garden while his sister goes for a wee, he then drinks it. But even worse than that, we have repeatedly found her licking her brother's nether regions. It makes me want to throw up!

namechange1041 · 18/01/2020 01:15

This is so embarrassing and I'm going to NC after this Blush

My cat ATE a used condom....DP's used condomBlush... Yes you read that right.

The cat must've fished it out of the bin when we were out and ate it.

I came in and the cat was scraping its arse all over the floor, I looked and could see a wierd object half way out of its backside.

I stood on it, the cat ran in shock and lo and behold there was the used condom under my foot🤮

Anyway the cat got vet checked, very embarrassing! Everything OK though the cat unharmed, but I am now scarred for lifeBlush

Original poster
QueenOfOversharing · 18/01/2020 07:30

Oh God. I'm laughing so much. Why do we have cats & dogs?

Another story - prompted by the dog drinking his sister's piss 😂

Out walking my two & beagle took a piss on a wall, just as staffy started sniffing & did it all over her head. Ughhh. Then about 5 mins later we bumped into Ricky Gervais & Jane Fallon (we see them a lot). Ricky knelt didn't to say hello to the dogs - he loves staffies esp. I suddenly remembered piss incident & shrieked "oh no - he just pissed on her head" to which he replied "we've all been there" and carried on striking her. 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenOfOversharing · 18/01/2020 07:31

*knelt down
*stroking her, not STRIKING!! 😳

OP posts:
LunaHardy · 18/01/2020 07:37

My dog is gross. Licks/eats other poo when we are out walking. Has eaten the contents of my dd nappy (not just a wet nappy Confused) he also chewed the contents of the bathroom bin when I accidentally left the bathroom door open - while it was my time of the month (say no more Blush)

vampirethriller · 18/01/2020 07:38

Ate a dead magpie and threw up a wing and the beak in my bed
Hid a big mouthful of chicken gizzards in my bed
Ate a whole 4lb roast chicken (she only weighs 9lb herself) and had to have the bones removed from her stomach
Steals snotty tissue from the bathroom bin
Would kill for toenail clippings.

madcatladyforever · 18/01/2020 08:01

My first cat who was a tamed feral would bring live frogs in and crunch them to death while they screamed and screamed. I couldn't bear it but if I tried to take them off him he'd savagely attack me.
In the end I'd lock him out if I saw him coming towards the cat flap with a frog Sad
My latest cat has inflammatory bowel disorder and often has horrendous diarrhoea if she finds something to eat that isn't strictly on her diet list, usually the old lady next door leaving stale cat food out for the hedgehog.
She went missing for 12 hours, I looked everywhere and it's no good shouting because she's stone deaf.
I was just starting to put posters about the local area when I went to use the downstairs loo and there she was shut in, no idea how as the downstairs loo is tiny and you'd notice a cat in there.
She'd drunk the toilet water to stay hydrated and the entire room, half way up the walls was covered in diarrhoea, I just wanted to burn the house down and start again to be honest.
She had obviously been on the hedgehog food the day before. She had to go in the bath, it was the only way to get all the shit off her.

SplendidDaysInTheGarden · 18/01/2020 08:19

Yesterday morning I came downstairs at 5.30 to have a precious half an hour to myself before my DS woke up. Made a cup of coffee and toast, wandered into the living room in the dark in my bare feet and trod in the biggest dog turd you've ever seen. Squished up though my toes. Had to hop to the downstairs loo to clean my foot. Then try to scrub the shit out of my BRAND NEW £350 wool rug. There's still a brown patch on it. Loveable bastard

slavetolife · 18/01/2020 08:24

My old dog used to steal my worn knickers, I'd find her in a corner licking the gusset lovingly 🤮

Booboostwo · 18/01/2020 08:50

DH and I were in bed with a vomiting and diarrhea bug so that morning I had opened the doors and let the dogs out to run around in the fields by themselves (all fenced in and our land). A little while later the GSD came into the bedroom, took one look at us and made the most awful vomit of undigested parts of a sheep. The stench was unbelievable...both DH and I vomited as well! Then we had to clean up and drag ourselves outside to find the other half of the poor sheep and dispose of it.

Disclaimer: I don't know where the sheep came from or how it died.

Same GSD a few years back. He was in the kitchen while we were out and had a V&D bug unknown to us. The kitchen was down one step from the living room and had a slight drop from the outside as well so when we returned we effectively found a pool of vomit and shit on the kitchen floor. Took hours to clean up.

Tibetan Terrier with diarrhea bug so bad I had to take her to the vets. The vet put her on the table to examine her and she did a projectile diarrhea which covered the table, the wall opposite and continued onto the ceiling. The vet, to his credit, was very cool about it even though there was shit dripping from his ceiling.

Booboostwo · 18/01/2020 08:51

Oh I forgot the best one. We were renovating an old property with a very old septic tank. One day, unknown to us, the septic tank started spewing its contents out...all four dogs returned covered in human shit. They rolled in it, they ate it, the works!

Tippytappytoes · 18/01/2020 08:54

To pick just one out of so many seems unfair but here goes...

The time he rolled in human poo on a walk. How did I know it was human? Well I know of no other animal that wipes their bum after they go apart from us. The very worst thing is that we had driven there so I had to put poo dog in my car 🤢

FairyDogMother11 · 18/01/2020 08:57

If either of my dogs is sick, whichever one is not will eat the vomit. It has made me throw up every time it's happened, it's bad enough them eating their own sick, let alone each others Envy (not envy)

caoraich · 18/01/2020 09:02

When my kid was a newborn she did one of those up to your neck poonamis. Stripped her off in the bathroom and dumped the filthy clothes in the shower cubicle.

Next thing I know the cat was rolling around in baby poo and then proceeded to rub herself all over my bed sheets and then climb up the ladder to the loft, where she rubbed herself all over our Christmas decorations that we were in the process of getting down.

I've never quite forgiven her!

Pardonwhat · 18/01/2020 09:09

Not gross but fucking irritating on a whole new fucking level Angry
We had brand new stables built. Brand new. My fucking horse at the time - on the first fucking night in these brand new fucking stables - took a shit against the wall that landed behind the kick boards and against the wall. Couldn’t get to it. So there it rots. She also pissed in her bucket whenever she could Angry. I loved that horse she kept me on my toes.
The grossest thing is a cat deciding to deposit diarrhoea in the middle of the hall floor and me proceeding to stand in it, barefoot, in the middle of the night. All in between my toes and sweet corn in it Angry

Pardonwhat · 18/01/2020 09:15

Oh actually no. My last post wasn’t even close.

Another cat of mine had fucked off for a while. Eventually located him villages away exploiting an old lady. I collected him and she told me she’d been feeding him tinned fish. Great. Driving home and there was a stench so unbearable that my eyes were red raw. I had to hang my head out of the window and attempt to drive that way. I got home, somehow, and by this point I was dry heaving at the smell. It turns out he’d had explosive diarrhoea all over the crate and himself - and the boot of my car that can’t have been off the forecourt longer than 6 months. I wasn’t sure what to do so I carried him into the bathroom, opened the window and attempted to shower the cat for some stupid reason. Anyway, predictably, he fucked off across all of my new carpets with this now extra wet stream of diarrhoea trailing behind him. Every where. It was fucking awful.
Anyway, months later my car had this vile smell that I just couldn’t get rid of desperate numerous professional cleans. Turns out there was a tiny spec of the shits left on the lip of the boot that was causing it. It stunk on a nuclear scale.
Vile. If he ever goes back to the old lady then she can keep him.

DinosApple · 18/01/2020 09:16

Hahaha. I was contemplating a cat, but I think I've changed my mind! Grin

We have fish, in a pond, no drama.

willothewispa · 18/01/2020 09:17

I.Am.Never.Having.A.Dog.

WingBingo · 18/01/2020 09:18

I had a friends dog to stay, plus two of my own.

DS2 was having some nappy off time and he had done a poo all over the floor and himself.

He then slipped in it on the laminate floor.

I whisked him into the bath the clean him up and by the time I came back the poo was gone.

I was never sure witch dog ate it. It could have been my friends dog.

fairydustandpixies · 18/01/2020 09:23

Ddog thinks he's a sheep on walks and eats loads of grass. It passes straight through almost immediately but he ends up with grass hanging out of his arse which I then have to pull out with the aid of several layers of poo bags 🤢💩

CaptainButtock · 18/01/2020 09:30

Took my dog into work for the day. She proceeded to shit on the floor, eat it, vomit it up then eat it again.
IN FRONT OF CLIENTS.

labazsisgoingmad · 18/01/2020 09:35

my dear old girl poppy now sadly not with us was a sod for rolling on things usually things like pooh worms etc. once we were taking her for a walk and she ran ahead of us to roll on something. when we got close it was a very dead crow which was rather decomposed. the stink was awful we had to wrap her in an old blanket so it didnt go all over the car seats and have all the windows open. i was very thankful when my partner took her for a bath as i know i couldnt have touched the crow all over her fur!

Sumsuch · 18/01/2020 09:48

My dog regularly eats used pads. Or rather, he eats the juicy bits, and leaves the rest in a place where normally my son would find.

We walk past a place where people seem to "go" if caught short. He loves to eat it.

Goose poo, cat poo.

Many many tissues from my sons room. That ones' disturbing I many ways