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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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happytobemrsg · 29/02/2020 21:58

Just read the list of your clothes OP. I love how coordinated the colours are. I tend to stick to black, dark grey & off white for my neutrals, then greens (forest/khaki/moss), burnt orange & the occasional denim blue for my accents. I kind of have a seasonal capsule wardrobe which, tbf, has many items like dresses which can be worn across seasons. My Spring wardrobe is just under 45 items which seems loads but compared to most it’s quite restrained.

LavenderHills · 03/03/2020 00:58

I don't know if this will be of use to anyone, but I'm travelling for work today and thought I'd share some bad snaps of my outfit. The trousers and blouse are both stretchy, wrinkle-free ones from A Day, so they stay looking tidy even after a few hours on a plane, and allow me to do a spot of "office yoga" between meetings! The olive trench coat gets away with being a "neutral" because the other pieces are black and white. I'm wearing pearl studs in my ears and a low ponytail, and travelling with the Knomo London Grosvenor Place bag, which holds everything. The look is not glamorous, but I feel put-together and I didn't have to think about it much or iron anything!

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
OP posts:
Winecheesesleep · 03/03/2020 21:25

That's pretty much how I pictured you from your posts - tres chic! I definitely want a trench coat.

I am going to start my wishlist spreadsheet soon, one thing I will definitely have is a shirt dress - I have a cheap one from Sainsbury's that is really flattering and people have complimented me on it but I tore it on a cupboard handle today. It's just cheap material, not built to last.

LavenderHills · 04/03/2020 03:25

Someone has just declared soft, tan leather bags to be "mummy and frumpy" on the What Makes A Woman Glamorous thread. Fingers crossed they stay on that thread and leave us and our Petite Parisians alone Grin

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 04/03/2020 03:26

*mumsy and frumpy, that should have said.

OP posts:
MrsBobDylan · 05/03/2020 12:11

Thanks for the pics op - you look fab!

I have been using your ideas to define a capsule wardrobe for myself on Pinterest. I have always been an athleisure sort in my own time and a french/Breton knits with classic navy trousers person for work. Having the reference pics has already made me much more careful about what I buy or don't buy.

I have also got rid of a load of stuff which isn't quite right for various reasons and am finding it so much easier to dress myself in an outfit which makes me happy.

rhetoricalmugwump · 05/03/2020 15:39

Just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread. A spreadsheet is exactly what I needed! I feel finally I might sort myself out properly.

LavenderHills · 10/03/2020 23:38

In case anyone is interested, Wanderers Travel Co is having a 50% off seconds sale online at the moment. I can't see any Petite Parisians for sale, but they do seem to have the larger size available.

wandererstravelco.com/collections/seconds-sale

OP posts:
ChrissieKeller61 · 25/04/2020 19:14

Bouncing for anyone needing a good read in lock down

GrimDamnFanjo · 27/04/2020 00:02

Awesome thread! Anyone made any good purchases recently?

woollylizard · 27/04/2020 10:34

OMG op thank you so much for this! I am placemarking so I can come back to your list and keep up with any recommendations

LavenderHills · 28/04/2020 23:22

You're very welcome, @woollylizard
It's nice to see the thread revived!

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 29/04/2020 01:53

I am currently planning The List for the 2020/21 financial year, and now that I've got my basics I'm going through my very favourite outfits on Pinterest and being quite specific about exactly what it would take to achieve that look. Shoes, bag, jewellery etc. It's quite fun!

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 29/04/2020 02:28

Amazing thread op! I’ve just moved back to Melb after years in the U.K. and need to know some brands (too broke right now though). The bag and tshirts look amazing.
One suggestion for skin care, I have quite good but dry skin and don’t like to put heavy things on it so wouldn’t use zinc every day. I use an Aussie spf moisturiser ASAP, and I love it. It makes me look so much better every morning, and it’s light textured. I would stock up on trips to oz.

chatwoo · 02/07/2020 12:08

Hi @LavenderHills - I'd like to get your opinion if the Citzen Wolf t-shirts are worth the extra $$...?

I'm trying to do a mini version of what you're doing, but focussing on the things I wear all the time and getting better quality versions of those things. I wear short/long sleeve t-shirts A LOT at work and home, so would be happy to invest some extra cash if it's worthwhile.

LavenderHills · 21/07/2020 06:25

@chatwoo

Hi *@LavenderHills* - I'd like to get your opinion if the Citzen Wolf t-shirts are worth the extra $$...?

I'm trying to do a mini version of what you're doing, but focussing on the things I wear all the time and getting better quality versions of those things. I wear short/long sleeve t-shirts A LOT at work and home, so would be happy to invest some extra cash if it's worthwhile.

I'm so sorry @chatwoo , I seem to have missed your message a couple of weeks ago!

Yes, I do think Citizen Wolf t-shirts are worth the extra money. Mine have lasted a really long time and held their shape well. The fabric still feels beautiful and thick, and the colours are bright etc.

Maybe just order one and see if you like it before investing in a few?

OP posts:
chatwoo · 21/07/2020 13:58

@LavenderHills don't worry at all! I have since ordered a short sleeve crew neck, and a longer sleeve boat neck.

The short sleeve version arrived and I asked for a couple of changes, mainly to be looser around the middle Blush. But was really nicely cut and I could tell it would be pretty hard wearing. So fingers crossed, the next version is a good fit! I also had my eye on the merino fabric, but will see how it goes with the basic tees first.

izzybobsmum · 22/07/2020 09:10

I love this thread! I have been doing the same for the last couple of months. I have a lot of clothes that are ok, but weren’t exactly what I wanted when I bought them - they were ‘near enough.’ But I’ve come to realise that near enough isn’t good enough!

As an example, I have bought several cheaper black cardigans over the years instead of the cropped cashmere one I actually wanted, but thought I couldn’t justify spending £100+ on. But looking back, I have probably spent more than that on other cardigans that aren’t quite right.

I have a wardrobe notebook now, to help me curate my style. I got rid of things that were absolutely not right and worked with what I had left, identifying things I needed to fill the gaps and then doing lots of research to create a wish list.

I am a big fan of Audrey Coyne, and I followed her a YouTube tutorials, particularly this one:

crochetmonkey74 · 17/12/2020 09:30

sorry for reviving this thread- I came over from another capsule wardrobe thread and I am inspired! I have dabbled with it before, have lost my style a bit and had this on my list to think about in new year- OP this is brilliant- I am off to audit my wardrobe and get a spreadsheet going

readingismycardio · 17/12/2020 09:46

Following this so I can come back ❤️

WindFlower92 · 18/12/2020 05:13

Love this thread! I'm doing my spreadsheet today Blush

Saltn · 18/12/2020 06:00

I love this.

CutToChase · 18/12/2020 07:23

So what's on your 2021 list OP?!

Victoria157 · 19/12/2020 09:09

Ooh I've just found this thread - exactly what I'm looking for ❤

Saltn · 19/12/2020 13:11

I have spent the whole morning trawling pinterest and online shops. I now have a spreadsheet of 'essentials' which thanks to some articles on capsule wardrobes I have managed to make a shortlist to start on first of 3 bottoms, 4 tops, 2 jackets, 1 bag and 3 types of shoes. I need to lose weight so I am going to spend the next few months getting that sorted so will focus on bags and shoes for now. First planned purchase is a Kate Spade black crossover bag for £250. I cant buy it until the end of January as we need to have a no spend month.

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