Great thread! Really glad that many of you are crazier than me.
Cotton wool and cooled boiled water for nappy changes, later I would warm the wipes on the radiator. Nappy would be placed on baby with millimeter precision and symetry.
After baby arrived early, bought the whole baby isle in home bargains, got concerned the stuff might be sub standard as it was cheap so bought same in Boots as it was expensive thus better. One pack of each kind of wipes, nappies (sizes too), basically got everything in every possible variation, just in case.
Very few photos early on as didn't want camera flash to hurt baby.
Obviously we kept a feed/shit/pee/nappy diary, I insisted we used the finest Japanese paper and filled using a fountain pen, with great ink, so that midwife didnt think we'd neglect baby (OMG!) Minute by minute updates, accurate feed amounts, pee noted, shit would get a review of colour, etc. The diary lasted a year. I would get told off for writing HS (huge shit) instead of BM (bowel movement) as the midwife would think we were neglectful and common!
Would scrub up before midwife visits, Id put on a shirt and jacket... again to ensure midwife didnt think we neglected baby!
Bottle sterilization was done scientifically. Nothing touched sterilized stuff or would be redone, this included drips from inside the sterilizer landing on bottles within. Take out 1 bottle etc, the remaining ones would need redoing as air would have touched them.
Everything dropped would get wiped or sprayed with dettol every time.
Baby was losing weight (she wasnt but midwife couldnt use the scales). Midwife suggested 2 hourly feeds would help. I fed her exactly every 2 hours. Night and Day, for a whole week. Sometimes shed be asleep, or full... but midwife said every 2 hours. When midwife turned up again she clarified her orders, having only meant every 2 hours during the day!
2 hour feeding fuked me up... no sleep etc... one time I was feeding her and I must have dripped milk in her eye, had a real panic that Id filled her with so much milk she was overflowing through her eyes. A quick check for leakage from ears too reassured me.
For the first YEAR myself and DP took it in turns to be with baby... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We would take shifts at night, one slept while other sat watching baby sleep. Baby lived in living room for first year, we all lived in the living room for a year. So literally for the first year she was always watched by one of us!
Obviously I had a breathing mirror and a meningitis glass always within reach.
I was also scared when out that a Red Kite would steal baby, I got very paranoid about arial assaults.
Im 2 years in now and baby is still alive and still in my care... so all good!