Your most batshit parenting moments?

[Hassled]

For some reason today I remembered the MNer years ago who confessed to squirting no-tears shampoo directly into her eye to make sure it really was no-tears before using it on her baby.

I think my equivalent is probably banning DH ( who seriously loves The Cure) from ever playing Boys Don't Cry in case the DSs grew up thinking boys don't cry. The ban was in place for a solid 15 years.

Anyone else looking back and wincing at themselves?

Got loads! Honestly. I am definitely that parent with ds.

When ds was about a yr old a kids plastic bucket fell off a shelf when he was in the bath and hit him on the head so after worrying about it all night I put the bucket back where it was and replicated the same situation to my head as it did to ds' to see if it was a hard whack and did I need to continue to worry or not. 🤣

I had an I candy when ds was born with an all silver metallic frame and when he was about a week old I'd walked to the shops and on the way back it starting raining then a thunderstorm, I ran all the way home with the pushchair incase it got struck by lightning. And when I say ran, I mean ran.

Oh so many. The main that comes to mind is the craziness I felt about breastfeeding. DD1 had a tongue tie that wasn’t diagnosed for a while and a terrible latch. I constantly got blocked ducts, mastitis and eventually these milk blisters on my nipples that kept recurring, and the only way to deal with them was to use a pin to lance them. I was literally sticking pins in my tits every few days for months. My husband thought I was insane and I thought I was doing the only possible thing I could.

And the OBSESSION about sugar. I remember very rudely snatching a baby biscuit another mum had given DD as it was a brand I wasn’t familiar with and it may have contained a trace of sugar. I genuinely believed that it was poison that would ruin her life forever, just a tad disproportionate.

My daughter was very clingy. I couldn’t even have a bath without her crying her eyes out so rather than actually having a bath with her (a more sensible logical idea) I decided that the best idea would be to place her little baby bath in the living room and bathe in that whilst she was happily crawling around next to me. As you can imagine it was only a small baby bath so I’d literally sit in it with my legs out either side as there was no room for them. I would then get out and dip one leg in and shave and then repeat for the other. The most mortifying thing was one day her Father turned up unannounced and was buzzing to come in. When he failed to get an answer he came round to the back of the flat and peered in the window to of course find me starkers sitting in the baby bath legs akimbo
It was him that made the sensible suggestion of having a bath with her

Reading this to DH and he just confessed to warming baby wipes on a night when changing nappies.

He also wore the ear defenders for a few days so they wouldn't be too tight for DS's head.

I had a planned c section with both my boys.
While waiting to go into surgery I heard someone elses baby start crying when they were born, it was amazing and I cried.
Had my own about an hour later. No crying. I felt and still feel so much Mum guilt that I got more emotional about someone elses baby.
Doesn't help that when DS2 was born I cried. Makes me feel even worse about DS1!
I'm also with everyone else, shouted at my DM for trying to give DS1 a white chocolate button at 6 months old, how dare she?
DS2 had chocolate pretty soon after I started weaning him and his brother is always trying to feed him snacks which arent really appropriate, but so far hasn't done him any harm.

I remember the countless times I felt my newborn’s pulse in her sleep to make sister she was alive (Ex nurse) .
When ds arrived I did it precisely 0 times

• sure not sister, ffs

Did. All. Of. The. Batshit. Things.

@MellowMelly that's so funny! It really made me laugh.

I was so paranoid i was dressing my baby correctly for the weather I would call my mother every morning to ask her to go stand outside and then tell me how many layers to dress him in. This went on for weeks 🤷‍♀️😂

I know this is an old thread, but I have just cried with laughter at some of these.

I LOVE cutting the sleeves off the babygro whilst PFB is asleep as you have convinced yourself it is too hot and I wept for the flat with one step up on the landing that required a stair-gate. Amazing.

My lowpoint was phoning my mum at 3am because I wanted her to collude with me in getting DH to drive us to A&E so that I could be sure that PFB hadn't swallowed a clothes peg that I vaguly remembered seeing on a table somewhere and now couldn't find. PFB was about 4 months old, not crawling and only on breast milk. DH kept trying to tell me that there was literally no way she could have 'come across, picked up and eaten a whole clothes peg' and I screamed at him that he was uncaring and must not love her and called my mum to 'back me up'.

I also wanted to 'go home' when we arrived at our lovely Crete hotel room on first summer holiday because I had forgotten to bring by carbon monoxide alarm so was convinced dd would die of monoxide poisoning. DH pointed out that we could sleep with the windows open but for the first two nights, I set an alarm every two hours, to make sure we weren't poisoned.

My friend's low point was on a short haul flight with his PFB who was about 6 months old where he had a stand up row with a flight attendant because they wouldn't provide a car-seat for PFB to be strapped into on the plane seat.