DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

[NewSchmooo]

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

aha.

Skimmed thread only but personally I'd buy new kitchen implements and let him keep the old ones for his use only.

Just thinking of food hygiene rules you know .

Seriously... I don't know what to say.

Crikey!

What does Wushen Zoo mean then katy? That link doesn't say!

Aww come one schmoo...update us soon please

This has kept me going for hours...

Gah - Katy, it doesn't work. What did he say???

It just means wushun zoo....

No effing idea!!

Sorry for misleading people into thinking I spoke German (if indeed it is german and not some weird stainless steel language)

I've tried googling it but that's not helping either .

Message withdrawn

[googles madly] Well there is "WÜNSCHEN zu" which means "I want to.."

Ugh.

What else did he say again?

He wants to......what was the rest of it??

He was talking to a kitchen utensil, I'm thinking the conversation was pretty one way 'that feels good' 'oh yeah' and so on. What else is he gonna be saying to a knife sharpener??!?

Good going Shinyhappypeople, try "Oh see rees volles"

PMSL.. if Oh See Rees Volles.. or whatever.. be..OH- Sie reizvolles that means....

"oh you sexy piece of steel"!!

Oh heck - am so tired - just have to go to bed. Soooo hope this was a wind up posting because if it isn't I have LMAO and I'll end up feeling guilty.

I googled schmoo, and wiki says they are asexual (could be the source of the problem?) and would gladly jump into a frying pan (possible future compromise?)

wiki says so, it must be true

If this thread is for real we're all going to burn in hell.

PMSL!!!

Very very good going Shinyhappypeople

Oh I have found my niche in life.. I am giving up the OU.. I can do Google translations from bad German to English...

I've only skimmed the thread, but isn't there a song by Elvis -- 'You can do anything but don't come on my purple suede shoes'?

Yes Shiny, that's one helluva talent

I don't beleive it

WHAT!!!!???

OMG She's back!

Oh this is VERY good

I am definitely getting RSI from hitting Refresh button. Is there a keystroke shortcut??