If oyu name si Linda you are an admin perosn at a hospital

[coddy]

if your name is MIke you are somehing techy

Hugo and Penny are spot on!

Amy has tiny tiny hands, and neat brown hair with a fringe. She is a wife, rather than a lover.

Louise is seriously uptight, owing to her overstrict upbringing - she walks like she has a broom up her arse.

Keith crack bad jokes and is over familiar with women due to misplaced lust, as he has never had a girlfriend and still lives with his dad. He has a red, sweaty face.

Judy's living room smells of joss sticks and she almost never opens the curtains.

Jim has bad teeth and spends too long in the vegetable patch. He has yellow net curtains.

Baz the, social worker mentined earlier, is quite keen on Judy.

Jo is a fuss budget. She is very eco-green and slightly hippy dippy. She was always well endowed and built for comfort until she discovered the joy of an exercise induced endorphin rush and is now built like a prop forward. Her DH misses her boobs which are now as sculpted and rock hard as Ms Beckhams.

Allegedly

Kay's DH works all the hours he can and she is very lonely. She tried to spice up her marriage with a heart-shaped bikini wax but by the time he had a chance to see it, it looked awful so she kept the lights off as usual.

Krystelle used to work in TopShop but is now engaged to a Division 3 footballer and lives in a 3 bed detached new build with lots of chintz and her miniture schnauzer Dior and adorable baby Bailey ( but she really wanted a girl coz the clothes are nicer !)

Oh yes, Baz and Judy definitely are made for each other.

Judy doesn't work tho'.

she is too paranoid to leave her flat.

Judy cultivates cannabis plants in her loft - hence the paranoia

Yes, Judy smokes too much weed.

Spencer is a mans man and hard as nails. He has done three tours in Iraq. He weeps at Animal Hospital.

Carole "with an E" has run Buds and Blooms in the High Street for about 25 years. She has been engaged to Derek for 20 of those years - they both still live at home - Carole with her ageing and slightly confused parents and their 12 cats, Derek with his overbearing divorced mother.

Carole is truly fed up arranging flowers for other peoples weddings as Derek has yet to make the momentious decision of actually naming the day due to his mothers inability to live without her little soldier or allow "that so - called girlfriend of yours" to get her hands on Derek or her collection of figurines and thimbles.

Carole lives in hope and strange despair.

Joyce serves tea at the "League of Friends' Tea Bar at the local hospital.

She has a smile for everyone.

Derek's mum must be called Muriel.

PMSL at collections of figures and thimbles.

Derek has made his mum a specially designed display case for the thimbles in his shed.

Fabulous!

Olive lets out little involuntary farts when she is cruising the aisles of her local co-op with a shopping trolley on wheels.

Jackie is a beautician on her second marriage and having an affair with a delivery guy named Stu.

Carol is a dinner lady. She used to be in admin and had big ideas about a career in London but then she got married and had too many children.

Tricia works at the animal sanctuary. She likes to go out clubbing at the weekend but never pulls because, although she doesn't realise it, she always smells of disinfectant.

Hugh reads Terry Pratchett novels, and spends his weekends and evenings in Games Workshop.

He asked his wife, Stella, to call him 'Vandor the Magnificent' in bed.

She told him to piss off.

Idris is a Morris Dancer - he attends events and folk festivals up and down the country.

He likes a pint of whatever the local brew may be by saying " landlord a pint of your excellent ale and follow that up with a decent ploughmans there's the man ..." He then proceeds to give chapter and verse of Mumming and Morris Dancing myth and legend to poor Steve and Mike who popped in for a quick one on the way home .......

Landlords the length and breadth know of him and dim the lights, lock the doors when Idris is in the area ....

Idris just sighs and drives on to the next pub - unaware that phone calls have been made

Ah yes - just a small libation for our Idris

His wife Beryl uses the time he's away to feed her bingo habit - woe betide anyone who sits in her "lucky" seat or - Heaven forfend - uses her "lucky" dibber

She can do 20 cards at once and thinks it's outrageous if a newbie wins

Michelle is the pissed, bored bingo caller who gets the calls wrong .... " 2 fat ladies ... 47"

It riles Beryl

Bogden goes to medieval reinactment fastivals. He dresses up as a wandering minstrel and plays the mandolin.

His real name is Alan and he is friends with Idris.

He likes real ale too.