If oyu name si Linda you are an admin perosn at a hospital

[coddy]

if your name is MIke you are somehing techy

Denise works in accounts and has two scottie dogs who sleep in her bed. She gives them a cup of milky tea for breakfast. She enjoys needlepoint and has a slight BO problem.

Penny's lovely, hasn't a bad word to say against anyone. Bit irritating, though.

Ah, Denise. Hopefully one day she will get meet Alan. He lives with his mum under the pretence of looking after her. She makes him proper dinners every night (lamb chops are his fave) and she gets very cross if he takes too long to walk their scotties, Taggart and Tartan, and misses the start of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Alan would think Denise extremely sexy.

Does Liz smoke heavily? Does she have those smokers wrinkles around her lips? I think so...

Lindy is 31 but looks much younger. She is naturally pretty in a Vanessa Paradis type way. All the school gate mums are envious of her perfect lifestyle and flutter outrageously with her sexy but oh so nice husband Matt who runs his own training consultancy and plays squash. Lindy has two adorable children, Isabella and Marcus. Isabella is beautiful and already showing promise as a ballerina and Marcus is just adorable. Lindy does some freelance marketing and helps out at the local animal rescue shelter.

In her spare time she stalks Tom the parish priest and makes threatening phonecalls to the village residents. She is quite lovely though.

Ruth makes her own jam.

Lindy's cleaner Steph has a problem with her neighbours cats shitting in her garden. In the recent floods her husband Derek lost his prized koi carp when they swam down the street.

Ted is Dick's good mate from the golf club. Dick is unaware that Ted shagged Dick's 17 year old daughter Laura at Dick & Mary's 25th wedding anniversary celebrations.

Laura rides ponies and is not allowed to have her ears pierced.

Steph is considering joining an internet dating agency but she doesn't have a PC. She wants to ask Lindy if she can use hers but is embrassed. If Lindy helps her she might give her the bottle of Tesco Bucks Fizz that has been in her fridge since Christmas. Lindy would appreciate that being a bit posh.

Steph and Derek have an open marriage. Very modern couple.

Trevor has lots of gold...ears, arms, neck and teeth.

He still likes to holiday in Margate or cheapest Haven caravan available.

wow a gold neck must be expensive
did he win the lottery?

Penny has cappucinos at her desk. She goes to garden centres at weekends and makes money on the side by being a dominatrix.

I know a Tony who is a PE teacher.

Mikes wear glases (my friend mike didn't and he was totally un-techy but I don't think his mum was ever tuned into the person he was going to be from in utero until death so hey ho, she got the name wrong).

Linda defo works on reception/switchboard somewhere.

Anne wears sensible flats and lucy has strawberry blonde hair.

Being narcissistic a moment, what do Aimie's do?

Nope - bank job! ;-)

Tony has a complex about his small manhood and doesn't shower after the P.E lessons, he also has BO but the kids are too scared of him to take the piss.

Jenny is 31 and plays netball on saturdays and in local tournaments. She was always team captain at school. Her ex-best friend Vicki used to come too but they fell out because Jenny's son Cameron bullied Vickis son Kieran in year 3 of primary.

Sacha is a bit zany and an excellent cook. Her handwriting is illegible. She has striking red hair which she tosses when she thinks no-one is looking. Her three kids are a little wild.

Ted is worried about a mole on his shoulder that has gone a bit "funny". He won't go and see the doctor though.

Mike pinched a lighter from someones desk at work because it had an alien and the words "you are not alone" on it.

Trevor smokes roll-ups, has a faded copy of the Daily Star on the dashboard of his van, and wants to know if your driveway needs tarmac-ing

Tim is terribly shy and bites his nails. He is a good worker and often works on his own in the office late. He has nothing much to go home for.

Gawd! Tony had did have PE problems - as in premature ejaculation! You are barking up the right tree there then!

Barry would like to show you his collection.

Sacha spent a year in India when she was 19. She doesn't remember much about it but her tummy has never recovered from the dysentry on the plus side she looks fantastic in low slung jeans.

Angus has a prince albert and doesn't wear anything under his kilt at parties. He will show you if you like. He is often sick in car parks.