I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

Thigh, that is excellent.
😁

Can you also come up with some excellent excuses as I don't wish to play effing 'shops' with dc any longer.

They don't play fair and let me be 'Edna the Evil Shopkeeper' who detests kids. I'm also bored of it all.

??

Help
I’ve fallen out with dh over curtains and he’s now sulking and not spoken to me
BUT, I’ve run out of wine and he normally refills the wine fridge
What should I do?

Oh thigh your speech got me all emotional totally agree you need your own section.

Martha your children sound boring. Tell them you will play White Russian emigrees v Bolsheviks or nothing. Make your children more interesting and tell them not to bother you until they are well grounded in the habits of 20th Century dictators.

Thigh IRT my post of 14/02/19 16:42
Thank you for the lottery numbers. Your cheque is in the post.
It is likely I will be back to this thread in the near future for your invaluable advice on my new life as a multi-millionaire.

insancerre why are you engaging in discourse re soft furnishings? Remember the no guests rule. If your DH is such a whiny little bitch that he cares give him free reign. He MUST fill the wine fridge first. Remember Fuckboys are by the river gathering up plastic sheeting. Found out for a friend.

Resident relief from Thigh

Don't consign to classics, keep it current.

Our community needs you, Thigh

I can't believe the happiness that your advice has brought to my life! I can count on one hand the times I have had to move in the last 48 hours, its just amazing.

Only making deliberate movements towards outdoors when the sun is out, and not bothering to put myself down for a nap when theres something good on telly.

This is working out for me, and I just thought you should know Thigh you have indeed brought much relief!

Your girl child may make this shizz in the garden, garage or shed.

You solved 2/3 of the problem with the first sentence. I opened the back door and DH, DS and I promptly flocked outside buggered off and model making was then done independently and is devoid of glitter because I wasn’t there to get the lid off. And Prince Charming has not been mentioned.

Sadly I think I have ended up with a treasured bit of crap which she is going to insist goes on display somewhere, but since everything else has been painless, I’m a satisfied customer of your wisdom.

well can i just say
(thanks for the sticker advice ive stuck a smiley face emoji sticker over it and it shall never again see light of day until the car breaks down on the motorway then i can say i never saw the light for the offending sticker was in the way!)

re classics.
i think once this one has run its course it should go into classics.

but just this one because then - i think on at least a monthly basis we should have regular monthly thigh threads with titles such as
live and let thigh
thighs the limit
am thigh being unreasonable?

and so on.
you up for this thigh ? you could pull in guest advisors who are equally qualified. (when you want a lie down)
for instance i have no degree what so ever but i did do a typing GSCE so can type super quick.
im also over 40 -6- which makes me worldly wise.
and i have a police dog. sort of. well im police and hes a dog. (i noticed your advice re arm protectors earlier.... im being ever watchful)

what do you say thigh ? this could take off,,,,

Thigh

Perfect

In fact just pouring out a refreshing White Russian for myself.

My contribution to this afternoons 'activities'

Thank you Oracle.

Bath solved knees, off to cinema with DC and chips for tea, then a nap.

(By the way, anyone else wondering what happened to that poor soul earlier on in the thread who did actually ask for proper advice?!)

I have another problem thigh. Dds (8 & 4) have been really annoying me this weekend. Nothing that bad, just not listening and arguing with each other, but ive been grumpy. Dh has been in bed all day with a hangover so I've had no help today.

What can I do to stop them driving me mad tomorrow? Is a full (expensive) day at soft play too much? Will I be more annoyed there because there are other peoples children?

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess don't worry, I sent a Thambulance.

@MNHQ can you come on to the thread please? We want a section called Thigh's Relief and I want a job running a live thread for 2 hours per day.

Smotheroffive Glad to hear it, relief's the name, relief's my game.

Oooh that reminds me of Charles Manson's song:

"What's Your Game Girl?" - creepy.

hellenbackagen interesting. I like "live and let thigh" and "am thigh being unreasonable". Not keen on "the thigh's the limit" as that would imply that we are aiming for something. Remember we are looking for reverse improvement.

@thighofrelief, a two hour a day job is far too much work, surely? Maybe you could outsource? Then you can lie down and eat chips.

Luaa is there some kind of impromtu creche type thing you could utilise tomorrow? They have them in large shopping centres and at some gyms. Obviously I'm not advocating that you exercise but there could be a spa type thing attached to the gym and you could stay in the hot tub all day whilst paying the creche people to keep your children alive. Is DH working tomorrow? If not, well you're feeling a bit fluey aren't you?

SophieLMumsnet I can lie down, eat chips and MN at the same time. These people need me, they're being sucked into obligations and societal constraints.

Thank you for the excellent advice thigh!

OK - I believe you are all settle in for now. Off to do some RL shizz.

^^ obvs meant settled down.

Dear Thigh, this afternoon I set about to complete my new 1000 piece jigsaw, only to discover one piece is missing! The jigsaw came from American via eBay so I can't really be bothered getting a refund/replacement (also can't prove I didn't lose the piece). I'm already lying down, what else should I do? I had wanted to frame the completed jigsaw; would it look ridiculous incomplete?