I'm totally unreasonable. DH putting on a 'ill voice'.

[ThirdChildFourthPile]

I know, I know I'm being unreasonable. And I've told myself a million times but it's still winding me up. I'm actually avoiding him because of it.

I'm 7 months pregnant, we have two kids.
He had a vasectomy today so I'm juggling the kids and uni and hospital appointments with this baby while he rests his testicals.
This, I have no problem with at all. It's been a long time coming! And the more he rests now, the better he will heal.

But the ill voice he is putting on is like nails down a black board.
He used to do it years ago, I haven't heard him 'put on' a voice in years. He used to put on this faint, wobbly voice whenever he had any ache or pain or cold. My sympathy used to instantly shrivel up.

Now he's putting on this small, high pitched little boy voice and it grates on my so much.
It's like pouring salt on my sympathy for his testicals. I really wish he wouldn't do it!

So I need to get it out here in this safe space where I can name change and move on.

Oh my god I forgot the Olbas Oil.. we went through a BOTTLE of the stuff last time he had a cold! You could smell it from half way up the stairs!

My face went numb because there was so much of it on the pillows

My ex-H's flannel Dressing Gown of Doom used to be mine. I let him have it in the divorce as he got far more use out of it than me. I wonder if he's unpicked my initials from it yet?

He probably just feels a bit pathetic, and the feeling comes out with the voice.

You're can still be annoyed, but I'm sure a day of being pathetic is allowed. If he's still doing it tomorrow I'd be having words.

Oh god my ex did the voice and had the dressing gown of doom! I was at the point of burning it with him in it (although he was an abusive twat which may have had something to do with it) Instead I went out and expanded what was supposed to be our business, put money away and when he asked one night (wearing the dressing gown) in the same voice "are you happy in our relationship I don't think you wuv (intentional spelling!) me any more" Told him he was right and kicked him out.
Now dh never does the voice but does have a very dubious dressing gown

Yes and the dressing gown of doom never gets washed does it?

Not DH related but my hypochondriac MIL just said to me, and I shit you not.... "I just sneezed 8 times in the bathroom. It's very tiring you know"

Picking up after 2 small humans and 2 adult babies is also tiring dear MIL......

Mine is not generally too bad, but... recently we went on a cruise. It was wonderful, but there was a cold going round, and we both developed it when we returned. It was a nasty cold - temp. feeling knackered etc. and it did hang around for a while. He kept saying he was going to see the doctor because he was so bad. I said "what? For a cold? It'll go on its own fgs". He is now saying that it was so bad that HE WILL NEVER GO ON A CRUISE AGAIN!
I mean, I ask you, talk about drama queen, and this from a man who was in the merchant navy for years.

My XH used to do the voice. I have every sympathy for people in pain. and would do everything to make someone who has just had a medical procedure comfortable. But the voice and the shuffle are a step (or shuffle) to far.

My XH (and he was X at the time) broke his shoulderbone (playing rounders while drunk trying to impress women thirty years younger than him with his sporting prowess, he fell over and broke it).
This resulted in him lying about on my sofa, croaking sad little utterances, putting his feet half into his slippers (because y'know a broken shoulder means you can't use your feet) and shuffling round the kitchen in his underpants and the dressing gown of doom.
my DD had to leave the house because as she said 'I can't take the smell of burning martyr'.

There were demands for his food to be cut up for him - using the 'Voice' of course (why not just shove a whole pie in your mouth like you always used to?).
The ultimate attention seeking nonsense came when he insisted on sitting in the disabled seats on the bus.

Yes a broken shoulder hurts as does a vasectomy, but neither condition carries the side effect of compulsorily becoming a total dickhead.

"...my DD had to leave the house because as she said 'I can't take the smell of burning martyr'..."

Your dd is an absolute legend, @KurriKurri - that made me laugh out loud!!

Dh does this thing where poorly body parts are no longer referred to as 'his' but 'the', instead. Eg. "Should I go to the doctor and ask him about The Knee", "What can I do to help The Throat?" - as if there is a need for extra gravitas, or he needs to show he is the only person in the Whole World whose back/throat/whatever is sore.

And he made more fuss over getting one ceramic filling done than I made over having a wisdom tooth out and getting an infected socket! I even managed to get dressed every day and looked after myself and the dogs and the house whilst dealing with the infection, because dh was away. No dressing gown of doom for me.

Has anyone nominated this for classics yet? @mnhq what do you reckon?

Most relatable thread ever! My DH is fab in most respects but he does have minor hypochondria which means he suffers a lot from imaginary ailments.

There’s much groaning and shuffling and puppy dog eyes. And “Oohhh - I feel really rough. I think I need to go and lie down.”

One time he went to the doctors as he felt a ‘bump’ on his tongue and convinced himself he had cancer. The doc had to bite back her laughter and told him there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

You have to report it and request classics. Just because it's so rich in input rather just the original post it's definitely a classics contender.

I got home from uni and the situation has worsened. There wasn't even a voice anymore. I got DS and scarpered because I can't look at it. I think the surgeon must have made a mistake and given him major abdominal surgery.

Oh the voice

Dh has his vasectomy when I was 36 weeks pg with dc4. I was the very best nurse I could be (which isn’t saying much but I tried). This included daily checks of the stitches.

Dc4 was 2 week early and very quick meaning I had a rather large tear up to my bum. After a couple of days reprieve I was again asked to check his stitches as they were uncomfortable. I did and again tried my very best to be a patient and caring nurse.

I then asked dh to check my stitches. I was never again asked to look at his

Well played @PhannyMcNee

I'm reading this and thinking how lucky I am with my DH as he is rarely ill and even when he is he doesn't do this. It does remind me of when my boss had 'the op'. He swears blind that his Mrs deliberately drove over every pot-hole, uneven piece of road or road hump on the way home from the op. Even more painful to him was the quiet look of satisfaction on her face as she went over each one.

Ugh my DH does this, even when it's a headache or an injured foot, you know -things that don't effect his THROAT AT ALL.

Supposedly I'm not supportive when he's ill. THIS IS FUCKING WHY. Reminds me of trying to get a day off school as a kid, or my (younger) colleagues who call in sick on a Monday or Friday. 😂

I’ve voted for Classics. This has given me many laughs this morning!

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I actually cackled at "what can I do to help the throat" 😂

When DH is I’ll it always million times worse that if I am ill. For example me vomiting 12 times in a morning whilst heavily pregnant is no where near as bad as DH vomiting twice. I normally insist DH goes to bed and I provide him with water, lucozade and medication then I insist that he rest and shut the bedroom door firmly! Any noise, moaning, or 100 year old voice is met with me telling him to rest!

What's the point in comparisons? When EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SNIFFLE is an epic drama, we all know there's no way any procedure involving the hallowed testicles is going to pass without maximum sympathy seeking.

Painkillers and frozen peas for him. Wine and headphones for you.

Years ago when we were still married exh had to have and angioplasty, for those that might not know this is a procedure in which a sort of balloon thingy is inserted into a heart valve to widen it and they had to insert it via the groin.

I accept it was painful and unpleasant but exh insisted, when describing the pain to me, that 'you couldn't have stood the pain' More painful than childbirth then?

My ex had an ill voice too but it stretched to upset voice, tired voice , slightly miffed voice. Fast forward 16 yrs, he's remarried and recovering from a terrible accident. His new wife and i dont ever interact. She was confiding in our grown up DC recently about this pathetic voice their Dad does and how it's literally making her consider leaving him but they had never heard it. She said "only your mother would understand"! It's seriously repugnant in a man!

My Dh had major, under the knife for 5 hours surgery three weeks ago, which comes with a lot of worries afterwards. He was quiet as a mouse for some time afterwards. It's only in the last few days he's been back to the "ooof!" old man bending down noises that I know he's feeling better. 🤔🙄😄

My DH does this too. It's his long-suffering, 'Don't worry about me, I'll get through it' voice, usually accompanied by puppy-dog eyes. Seriously pisses me off.

Repressed memories are coming back to me, unfortunately.

XH also used to do this dreadful shivering thing. It wasn't enough to have a slight temperature: it had to involve shivering from head to toe and chattering his sodding teeth at me like a pair of maracas.

All while wearing the scarf and Dressing Gown of Doom, obviously.

I used to have to leave the house at that point, for fear of strangling him with his Sickness Scarf.