To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

Or tell him you think he needs to pay more attention at meetings as clearly he wasn’t listening properly.
This would wind me up no end.

You have my sympathies, OP

but mostly am place marking as this thread is pure gold

I love this thread .

Round 2:
‘Have you used this platform before?’

‘Yeah if course I have, I run a lot of stuff through it’

....

5 minutes of farting about clearly with no idea how to use the platform..

Him: ‘Would you do it this way? I just want to make sure I’m doing it the way you would to check I’m not going into too much detail’

Me: ‘Actually no I wouldn’t do it that way, I’d do it properly’. I stood up and went to get a cup of tea before I got the stapler out and now I’m hidthere my in the kitchen

my resolve is clearly slipping. HELP.

*hiding

Wish I was I fly on the wall of your office today OP

He is probably shitting himself right now. Serves him right though. He’s clearly out of his depth and instead of using this handover period to learn the ropes from you, he’s busy being a crowing cockerel 🐓

to check I’m not going into too much detail

what an utter twerp. He's way out of his depth even I'm cringing for him.

Just think @Mansplanation, once SG has 'grown into his role' he might consider spreading his wings. You might be interviewing him again in a year or so, assuming he hasn't been lynched before then ...

To check I’m not going in to too much detail- what an absolute dick.
Do not help him! Let him fall flat on his smug, irritating face.

"I'd do it properly! Perfect!

This thread is hilarious. Not for you obviously OP but it is funny.

Marvellous updates.

Do you think these arses have some kind of Shartnet.com website where they share their crappy ways of trying to boost their own confidence. It’s so pathetic.

Shart Goblin - I NEED to use this. You totally need to do Shart Goblin Bingo. Phrases can include "So I was thinking" "not going into too much detail’ "bluesky thinking" "reaching out" "lets run this one up the flagpole"

More suggestions needed obvs

Shartnet!!! OMG I'm dying

When you called him out about the client phone call, did he look embarrassed?

Actually I don’t know why I’m asking. Of course he didn’t.

Oh god OP I feel your pain, I was stuck next to one of these at a wedding recently who very kindly took the time to ploddingly explain my thesis topic back to me, at some length.
I’m an art historian and the topic came up because I had just given a paper at an international conference on the subject in question.
His specialism? Mortgages

And yes, kill him. It’s kinder that way

Surely you have some sort of feedback system where you can make this guy aware of jusd how he is coming across?

He sounds awful.

I’ve lost it. It was all going so well.

Him: ‘mansp what’s your approach to very, very simple thing that has a best practice, well established process and full SLA ’

Me: ‘What do you mean what’s my approach?’

Him: ‘how do you approach this when it crops up?’

Me: ‘you just rephrased your original question. I ask what you mean because I can’t fathom why you’d ask that’

Him: ‘what do you mean?’

Me: ‘you just asked me what my approach was to XX, why would you ask that when there’s a very clear process to it throughout the industry and it’s very obvious what my approach would be. Do you not understand? To be honest that’s a red flag for me, this is very basic stuff you should be well aware of at this level.’

Him: ‘no no, I know how the best practice for it I was just wonderzing if you approach it the same way’

Me: ‘why would you assume my approach would be anything other than the well established best practice?’

Him: ‘I didn’t I was just checking’

Me: ‘just checking I know how to do my job?’ (Head tilt)

Him: ‘no no, just checking’

Me: ‘you seem disproportionately concerned with my knowledge’

The blissful, BLISSFUL silence.

Hope that puts a stop to it.

you'll soon climb the ladder.

Tears of laughter at this

Perhaps ask him what his approach is? Then smile as he flounders.

This is a handover, not you teaching him how to do his job.