Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 19:05

Fucking outstanding. Everything I was hoping for from this finale and more. What a complete cock-womble.

You do of course realise, OP, that you cannot leave and take up this new post, because that will hamper your ability to keep us informed re any legal action he attempts to take? (Though I expect that, when a solicitor explains he doesn't have a leg to stand on, he will start mansplaining the law to them. Oh to be a fly on the wall when that conversation happens...)

Maelstrop · 09/08/2018 19:06

A solicitor would inform him that as he has less than 2 years service there is fuck all SG can do about it.

I’m dying! I bet he tries to mansplain to HR how the notice period works. I so wish I could have been a fly on the wall there!

CholloDeNombre · 09/08/2018 19:06

Wow.

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 19:07

@Maelstrop ...are you me? Am I you? 😂

barneymcgroo · 09/08/2018 19:07

@mnhq How do you go about nominating for classics?

TomaszIsMineBitch · 09/08/2018 19:08

you’ll be hearing from my solicitor!

Grin 😂😂😂 i spat my tea out !

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 19:08

@barneymcgroo YES - SECONDED

CantankerousCamel · 09/08/2018 19:08

In his position I would be relieved... I mean blagging it like that was obviously not going to wash

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/08/2018 19:08

I'm going to start using post turtle in my family lexicon.

TorviBrightspear · 09/08/2018 19:11

What a wazzock! Does he really not know anything about employment law? Or is it that he's still trying to prop up his ego.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 09/08/2018 19:11

This thread has been DELICIOUS.

Succulent, crispy, chewy, sweet, spicy. Omg. Let it start over.

😋🍾🥂⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 09/08/2018 19:11

Watch this space. They'll be a news story in a couple of years about a guy who was posing as a GP or some shit.

He seems the type.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 09/08/2018 19:12

Does he really not know anything about employment law?

Of couuuuuuuuuuuuurse he does!!! He knows everything about everything!!!!!!

HolyMountain · 09/08/2018 19:14

GrinGrin

Comedy gold!

TrippingTheVelvet · 09/08/2018 19:14

Wazzock is such a wonderful but underused word. Thanks reminding me about it Torvi. Bloody great thread altogether!

AfterSchoolWorry · 09/08/2018 19:16

Ha, what a tool. He's so stupid he doesn't even realise he's stupid. 😂

dizzy174 · 09/08/2018 19:18

This thread has been DELICIOUS.

Succulent, crispy, chewy, sweet, spicy. Omg. Let it start over.

I agree - thanks

WTAFIGO · 09/08/2018 19:20

Haha I am an employment solicitor and shart goblins like him call me all the time thinking they have some amazing case (that I should take on a No Win, No Fee because it's worth soooooo much money but they aren't prepared to, you know, actually risk a single £ of their own... Erm no thanks). When I tell them they don't have a case you can tell they think they know better and probably contact ten other lawyers who will say exactly the same thing until it starts to penetrate.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 09/08/2018 19:21

Brilliant.

Bibesia · 09/08/2018 19:21

A solicitor would inform him that as he has less than 2 years service there is fuck all SG can do about it.

Not only that, but I assume he was also within a probation period. A solicitor will explain to him that if you fail probation, that's game over. Particularly if you fail so spectacularly that you are booted in your second week. Also that if he sues he will royally bugger up his chances of getting another job.

Bubblysqueak · 09/08/2018 19:22

Fantastic result, but am I the only one who is slightly disappointed that we won't be getting anymore mansplaining stories tomorrow.

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/08/2018 19:22

This thread has been magnificent!

Shart goblin is my new favourite insult!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/08/2018 19:24

That was so satisfying that I want a post-update cigarette.

bastardkitty · 09/08/2018 19:25

Impeccable thread. Thank you.

HopeMumsnet · 09/08/2018 19:26

Hi all!
Classics nominations rec'd loud and clear!