People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

Torn are you projecting? 😂

pardon my slow response, I'm using my left hand...

the other is busy...

@TornFromTheInside you are a legend.

Torn 😂

I can't see the screen properly, my eyes are watering

I think I've finally found happiness!

They do say the only way is up, once you've found the bottom right?

How long is your arm Torn?!

I think I've finally arrived in the digital age.

All those who like their bottom played with, put your hands up!

I was going to say I'm bent over with tears in my eyes...

but I might need to rephrase that.

‘Mumsnet is home to a lot of horrible, misguided posts’?

I didn't think the advice on S&B was that bad.

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks - long enough to reach my wrist!

The end of that sentence was so disappointing! 😭

Story of my life... she asks about length, and is left disappointed.

🎻

Are you fiddling with your g-string?

The moment I mention fiddling, she's on her Bach!

😂😂😂😂😂

I've only just realised...

I can't decide if 'eurgh' is the sound of orgasm, or the sound made when I drop my pants!

Wait, I now have the answer...

it's the sound people make reading that last post!

Haha Torn, it's more of a 😝😫 sort of noise if that makes ANY sense, like you've just tasted something awful 🙄

like you've just tasted something awful

Say no more.
I know precisely what you mean, and so does everybody else.

Your secret's safe with us all!

I think you need to put this by the hedge, in case of fire...

Just in case she complains of a burning bush.

Sounds like some antibacterial handwipes wouldn't go amiss either.