People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

Haha shut up! That's hilarious! How can a hedge be suitable for love making?! 😂😂😂

Have you possibly considered planting some nettles along the roadside?
Pretty darn effective, I'd reckon......

I can't do anything on the road side because it technically isn't mine, hedge is mine - as soon as hedge stops it's the council's

Why don't you film and shame them? Or wait for them and then blast the head lights on when they are at it!

@memyselfandI 😂😂

I'm more than mildly curious why you always seem to be around when these people are having a 'love in '... assuming they are there at various times of the day and you live in a 'normal' suburban area..why haven't you called the police .. given that this sort of behaviour isn't generally smiled upon anywhere other than your average bawdy house..
i suspect you are seriously titillated by these miscreants and are 'walking your dog' constantly in the hope of a little inspiration and a little blush and tickle in all the right places? Could be you are either having a little 'fun' when you finally arrive home..or you are having a little fun with us.. either way .. hope it worked out for you ..I suspect we have actually contributed as expected.. there is a possibility someone else will catch them if they actually exist.. and maybe the police will be called..hope you have your track shoes on ..headsup !!! Have a great day :)

Empty a pot of white pepper in the hedge !! Then when the sneezes start bless them ,... or sit quietly and just listen to them sneeeze ,.. be a change from their usual noise!!!

reiki21 rtft

Why... all... the... ellipsis... but... no... actual... full... stops...?

Simon I have a friend who always writes like this .... drives .... me .... crazy... [missespointofthread]

Didn't know if this had been seen? I haven't rtft

@reiki21 if you read the full thread you would know it happens at night when I'm out in the garden where I am every night between about 9pm and midnight because my rescue dog is afraid of daytime so that's the only time she gets some exercise. I can assure you I have no desire to join in or be titillated in any way. But you would know this if you bothered to actually read the thread instead of sitting there thinking up something dickish to say.

@SimonBridges I managed a whole post without ellipses and I managed some full stops too.

Er Reiki perhaps you could have another look at the Usui principles again. Your post was unkind and unnecessary.

'Have a great day'?

I'm going to say what everybody else wants to say.
Fuck right off with that shit.

I've not been this vexed since my good lady accused me of never listening, or something like that.

I love the bet where 'Gaz and Tasha' having left the confines of a building to have sex in the outside in a hedge attached to houses and then complain 'they' can't get any privacy.

And as a side note how does Tasha explain the unexplained scratches on her from the hedge to her body.

I love the BIT not bet where 'Gaz and Tasha' having left the confines of a building to have sex in the outside in a hedge attached to houses and then complain 'they' can't get any privacy.

Torn 😂

I would put some liver of sulphur around the hedge. You can get it on ebay and it stinks like the devil's very arse.

Sulphur so good

Speaking of stinking like the Devil's very arse, I suspect her index finger might already have that issue given what she's been doing to the man's bottom.

Perhaps we could start a sulphuragette movement?

I thought it was Tasha who liked Gaz to stick his finger up her bottom not the other way round?

‘Mumsnet is home to a lot of horrible, misguided posts’?
Fuck you Vice!

I thought it was Tasha who liked Gaz to stick his finger up her bottom not the other way round?

Details, details!

set off firecrackers next time they go hedging

She likes a finger up the bum - he may do too but I didn't ask him. Maybe if they appear again I should enquire 😂