AIBU to think that if you hate animals you shouldn't move to the countryside?

[shiklah]

I live in a very rural community which has become popular with commuters in the last 5 years. Over the last 18 months the following complaints have featured heavily on the local WhatsApp and Facebook groups:

Cows blocking the road for 10 mins (they do this twice a day and have for hundred of years as they go in for milking)
Escapee sheep roaming the verges and traffic islands
Cockerels crowing
Church Bells

Our neighbours moved in Jan 2016 and have built a conservatory overlooking our field. They have complained:

A ram was tupping ewes in the field
Many Sheep gave birth in the field
A sheep had a prolapsed and was attended by the vet in the field (the vet delivered 2 healthy lambs, revived them and saved the ewe, it was awesome and brilliant and they are all healthy and happy but apparently it spoiled mothers day breakfast)
A fox killed a rabbit and ate it in our field
A ferral cat lives in the hedge at the side of our field
A sheep pooed when Mr Neighbour was eating breakfast

Th least one was reported to me at 7pm this eve when I was getting out of my car at the end of a 60 hour working week. He DROVE to my house to tell me a sheep pooed in his view whilst he was eating breakfast in his conservatory that he built, overlooking my field, that has been their since before my house was built, in 1762. I literally don't know know what to say to these idiots any more. AIBU to simply laugh in their faces and move on with my day

I have had wine and am feeling frazzled

YANBU. I live in the countryside, it's amazing the amount if people who move/visit who are surprised at the mud, wildlife and 'tupping' animals. (I assume you mean they're having sex - the animals that is!)

OK I'm making a list

1. move manure heat to o/s their conservatory
2. accuse Mr N of voyeurism

I need more, a five point plan...

Also I’m not sure how you can avoid wildlife. As a born & raised Londoner I’ve had loads of fox encounters, & they make a racket when they get jiggy. Plenty of tom cats roaming the streets, noisy parakeets, shitting pigeons & rats.

Sheep & lambs would be preferable in my eyes.

3. buy aggressive bull and place in field opposite conservatory

What exactly does he expect you to do about it? He should put blinds up in his conservatory, eat in another room, or put a fence, trees or something up at the bottom of his garden! Ffs!

It’s just an everyday tale of country folk

You have to now keep us regularly updated with stories of their Snell-ness...

Please purchase some chickens, including a cockerel, and locate their coop as close as possible to NDN's house, as as far away from your own. Do not make any attempt to exclude light streaming into the coop early in the morning.

I thought about Linda Snell too, Mrs Wembley.

OP, you need a standard answer. Something like "ah yes... the countryside isn't for everyone, is it" or probably something better.

On your 5 point plan, I think you should add some extra animals. A cockerel? A pride of lions? A herd of wildebeest?

x-post avocados!

@Scoopofchaff that's a bit of a stretch on a small holding! I'd love to see Mr N's face thou. Brilliant!

To be quite honest, I’m buckled laughing at the thought of Mr and Mrs Offended looking quite horrified that sheep shagging has interrupted their breakfast it’s made me laugh far more than it should

That field needs to be fertilised, op!

4. arrange open farm Sunday every Sunday of the year (with special parking reserved outside neighbour's house)

5. buy loud cockerel

You have to come up wit some complaints to throw back at them.

Complain that the view of his conservatory is giving your sheep diarrhoea.

That the smell of the mother's day breakfast nearly cost you a ewe and two lambs.

I love that they're blaming you for feral cats and foxes too. What do they want you to do about it?

I can believe this thread, I've seen threads on MN suggesting that riders clean up after their horses

Forget the cockerel, what you need is a peacock and some guinea fowl. Theu give any cockerel a run for his money.

Complain that the view of his conservatory is giving your sheep diarrhoea.

Linoleum that is priceless

I have 3 cockerels! But they are located near our house for ease of access, we could move them thou...

feeling drunk and mischievous......

shiklah ah well, one can dream

People are arses. They move to the countryaide expecting idyllic green fields perhaps a few lambs (all year round)but no noise and smells.
Unfortunately these people cannot be educated. These are the sort of people who feed animals that have a do not feed sign displayed clearly then complain when they get bitten or the animals ups and dies from being poisoned.
The expectation is that you do not use your fields as they are to create a picture perfect view. Re build your milking parlour next to the field the cows are in, can it not be mobile to move with the cows 🤔😂😂
Oh and if you ever dare to fertilize with slurry/manure you can only do it on a wet day where there is a strong wind blowing away from house.
People amaze me. Why cant i walk across that field with a grumpy bull in it? If it's not safe around people it should be kept in/shot or kept in the farmers garden.
How dare that horse not want my daughter to sit on it she was just playing. Your goat butted me for no reason i just went into it's field to say hello 😣😣😂
There will always be someone who expects the world to work just for them. All you can do is ignore and swear at them under your breath.

Muck spread regularly, buy a donkey ( for the noise), breed geese( also for noise), keep pigs ( for the smell), keep bees ( just to scare them), lease you field for rock concerts or go motocross racing.

I've lived in a city for 30 years. I have previously lived more rurally. What kind of idiot expects the countryside to change to suit them?

They are a very special kind of stupid and we must all think of ways for you to wind them up.

they have three minis

It’s obvious then - they are The Self-Preservation Society...

Right I'm off to buy pigs and peacocks and donkeys and FUCK THE SYSTEM! WOOOO!!!

I've been up since 5am and am off to bed, see y'all in the morning hic

BBCK you've reminded me of something that happened when I was a child. A family like this moved in near us and was a constant complainer. Our farmer neighbour borrowed a donkey from the other end of the village for extra delights.