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AIBU to think that if you hate animals you shouldn't move to the countryside?

335 replies

shiklah · 16/06/2018 23:02

I live in a very rural community which has become popular with commuters in the last 5 years. Over the last 18 months the following complaints have featured heavily on the local WhatsApp and Facebook groups:

Cows blocking the road for 10 mins (they do this twice a day and have for hundred of years as they go in for milking)
Escapee sheep roaming the verges and traffic islands
Cockerels crowing
Church Bells

Our neighbours moved in Jan 2016 and have built a conservatory overlooking our field. They have complained:

A ram was tupping ewes in the field
Many Sheep gave birth in the field
A sheep had a prolapsed and was attended by the vet in the field (the vet delivered 2 healthy lambs, revived them and saved the ewe, it was awesome and brilliant and they are all healthy and happy but apparently it spoiled mothers day breakfast)
A fox killed a rabbit and ate it in our field
A ferral cat lives in the hedge at the side of our field
A sheep pooed when Mr Neighbour was eating breakfast

Th least one was reported to me at 7pm this eve when I was getting out of my car at the end of a 60 hour working week. He DROVE to my house to tell me a sheep pooed in his view whilst he was eating breakfast in his conservatory that he built, overlooking my field, that has been their since before my house was built, in 1762. I literally don't know know what to say to these idiots any more. AIBU to simply laugh in their faces and move on with my day Grin

I have had wine and am feeling frazzled Grin

OP posts:
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Vinorosso74 · 16/06/2018 23:29

Apologies but those "complaints" really made me laugh. What planet are they on? I wonder if those people had ever been to the countryside before deciding to move there.
I have lived in London for over 20 years (grew up somewhere less urban) but do know animals shag (god the foxes), give birth and do kill other animals for food. I'm sure wild rabbit is better for foxes than leftover KFC!

TooManyPaws · 16/06/2018 23:29

I live in an old farm cottage. A visitor noted as we sat in the garden that the countryside couldn't be considered quiet given the noise of the river, birds drowning out conversation, cows 🐮 mooing over the road, sheep 🐑 baaing next door and tractors chuntering down the road.

I must admit that it sounds very Call the Midwife during calving time and I know the barley field behind my house has been cut when I hear the sound of the grain dryer going as I drive down the road from work.

darkroom · 16/06/2018 23:30

Get your revenge at slurry time, ideally when their windows are open and washing on the line 🤭 My husband did this to me the other day....not so funny then 😬

categed · 16/06/2018 23:30

Make a visit to their house with a measuring tape. Tell them you are thinking of putting llamas in with the sheep and you are just measuring tge distance to ensure the spit wont land in their breakfast when eating in the conservatory 😉😉

TattyFrench · 16/06/2018 23:32
  1. I think you should start calling them by names different from their own. So when Mr Twat talks to you (keep looking at his hair line, with a smile playing across your lips that you then obviously try to stop, except you don't) and call him Mr Fuckface, even after he's corrected you.
  1. Tell him you take his complaints very seriously not at all and could he please list them in typed and hand delivered letter at his convenience. You just just read it when you need a laugh, don't ever respond to it and if he mentions it just say "oh, yes lovely thanks. Good day Mr Fickface".
  1. But as many bees as you can, obviously the best place for the hive(s) would be as close to his fence as possible. At night smear the fence with jam.
  1. Don't you need to be collecting firewood for your annual (from now) bonfire? Build it nice and big (positioned near fence) and light at the most inconvenient time.
  1. I read this article (I didn't) that vows and sheep love wind chimes, it really helps with their sense of being animals.
  1. Do you have problems with crows bothering the sheep? You can't get a crow scarer thing (only because your sheep wouldn't like it) but you could spent a happy few evenings making lots of lovely scarecrows in the most awful outfits you can find.
  1. Plant an apple tree and do regular wassailing.
  1. Invite school children from every school within a 29 mile radius to come and see a working farm, paying particular attention to that field. Rotate them so you get a class each day. What a lovely place to eat their packed lunch, right by Mr Twat's garden.

Can you tell I've got shit neighbours? My Mr Twat is worse than your Mr Twat by a country mile.

TooManyPaws · 16/06/2018 23:32

Oh, gods, slurry time. My dogs spend their waking moments working out how to get through the fence and roll in it.

KirstenRaymonde · 16/06/2018 23:33

This is hilarious. What did he think would be the result of informing you that sheep poo? I mean, really?! He must have had some sort of action plan in mind.

LinoleumBlownapart · 16/06/2018 23:34

categed genius Grin

ScrambledSmegs · 16/06/2018 23:35

My DH takes the piss out of me for being a townie (although I grew up living next door to a dairy farm so that's a bit unfair), but ffs these people sound like they have utterly no clue. Just laugh in their faces next time. It's the only possible response.

Scoopofchaff · 16/06/2018 23:39

Actually, I've just realised your neighbour is being totally reasonable after all shiklah because if you can source nappies for goats quite easily ... sheep should be no problem!

AIBU to think that if you hate animals you shouldn't move to the countryside?
LinoleumBlownapart · 16/06/2018 23:40

You need a couple hundred

Singlebutmarried · 16/06/2018 23:44

Can you catch the feral cat and somehow put it in their conservatory?

It’d piss every where and the place would stink and the he would watch your sheep shagging?

Singlebutmarried · 16/06/2018 23:44

Wouldn’t!!!!!

mummmy2017 · 16/06/2018 23:44

You have to tell him how much your husband loves his wild pussy...
Don't laugh when you say it.

Lalliella · 16/06/2018 23:45

Farms should be banned! We should eat only plastic!

Seriously OP put up a sign telling them to tupp off!

Scrowy · 16/06/2018 23:54

Please tell me you are Farm Assured and you are going to get to file away these complaints ready to show the Farm Assurance assessor at your next inspection. We always note a few of the really daft ones down just to lighten the mood at inspection time Grin

At tupping time this year you could get a really randy hill breed in as a teaser tup first just to extend the shagfest for a few weeks?

A creep feeder that rattles and bangs every time lambs go in and out?

Mobile pens to do all dagging, tailing, tagging and castrating etc in that field?

GivenAndDenied · 16/06/2018 23:54

YADNBU

I live rurally too, and have experienced some of these complaints firsthand.

We have been told it is cruel to leave animals in the field - in pretty much all weathers - sun, rain, wind, snow, etc. All our animals are checked twice daily, and brought in or rugged if struggling - but they almost never need it. One farming friend was even told by someone that they ought to rug their cows in the rain.

Another farmer I know has had complaints from people on the nearby footpath - because he has tractors parked in his farmyard, which are muddy & unsightly.

One local village used to have an access road to an equestrian centre - until the commuters moved in, and then complained about horse vehicles driving through the village (as they had been for decades), and the equestrian centre were forced to build a new road that didn't go through the village - at extortionate cost.

One yard we were at, the neighbours grew a hedge right next to one of our grazing fields, and then were surprised and cross when our livestock leaned over the fence and ate the hedging - they demanded that we fence our animals away from (our) fence.

Some friends of ours have had complaints because their fields were muddy in winter - and they really weren't that bad, as winter fields go, they were actually in pretty good nick - but their neighbours hate all animals and really just want a lawn to look out at.

A nearby village had complaints about the ringing of the bells.

Moans about horse poo on the road are really common - almost everyone I know with horses has had someone complain to them at some point.

I don't understand people, really, I don't.

PositivelyPERF · 16/06/2018 23:56

Tell him not to worry, since there is a lot of wind blowing from that direction and you’re worried about the sheep getting cold, you’re planning on planting a row of Leylandii. At least he won’t be able to see the sheep having a shag or daylight

jacks11 · 16/06/2018 23:59

You have my sympathy OP. It drives me nuts. I have nothing against people who move to the country from an urban setting and have little knowledge of what it is like to live rurally. Many are perfectly normal, sensible people - but there is a minority (a significant minority, and growing) who have literally no concept of what it means to live in a rural area, but also believe that everyone/everything ought to be changed to suit them.

We have much of this sort of idiocy too. We've also had complaints from a similar breed of nitwit regarding sheep and cattle being "too noisy/smelly/messy" and so on. One newcomer complained several times that the tractors working through the night at harvest time was disturbing him.... yes, I understand that it may do so, but you should have thought of that when buying a home overlooking fields where crops are grown (and were there at the time you bought it). And no, they can't stop work as the crop needs to be brought in at the right time. Oh, and complaints re muck spreading... yes, it doesn't smell great but it's not that bad and it doesn't last long- has been going on for many years before you arrived... So get over yourself or move. I hope he does....

Or the newcomer who wanted to have the beautiful, and very old, trees lining the lane into one of the local villages cut down (back road and not into the village itself) as his house on the edge of the village had: 1) lots of leaves blown into the garden (surely not a country-side only phenomenon?); 2) the crows and birds made noise in the morning and "it's a pain" and 3) the birds droppings on his driveway and car are annoying. Of course, it was never going to happen but why would you want to do that?

We also have a different problem- some who move or like visiting the countryside but haven't got a clue how to behave, have no common sense and don't even attempt to educate themselves before venturing out. Taking a picnic and then leaving the rubbish lying around, for instance- I don't get it: I want to shout "YOU TOOK IT UP THERE FULL, IT WILL BE LIGHTER TO CARRY BACK AGAIN THAN IT WAS TO BRING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!". I have even found dirty nappies left. Orlike the parents who wandered into one of the lambing pens and were in the process of trying put their 2 small DC INTO the pens where the ewes were in with their newborn lambs to "pat the lambs" because it would be "cute". Luckily, they were caught in the act and stopped, but were most indignant about being asked to stop, huffed and puffed about how "the DC days had been spoiled"- well, it'd have been spoiled a whole lot more if they had been injured. My neighbour had similar with some of her calves in the fields.

And don't get me started on what some people do around horses. Despite signs asking them not to enter the field where we have the mares and foals, they feel the need to do so. Sometimes the mares will be fine, but they are easily spooked if you get too close to the foals or if you move to quickly or look aggressive. That is dangerous for all parties. So please don't go in- but it's not infrequently ignored. One man decided to ignore and walk his dog through the field and complained that his dog got kicked.....

Also signs saying "don't feed the horses".... ignored frequently until extra layer of electric fencing installed (has a bit of a kick)- gate and fences have signs explaining this. Though now have had a few complaints about people getting shocked if they touch the fence... tough, you've been warned, ignore at your own peril! It's not that I want to be a killjoy- it's that it can be dangerous to the horses- you might think it's "only an apple/one polo mint or whatever- but you don't know what's safe for that horse, and imagine if lots of people give "one carrot", for instance. And some people try to feed them food that is unsafe (a friend's horse got serious colic requiring surgery after one lovely family fed her greedy native pony doughnuts, for instance). Not only that it can end up in the horse developing the bad habit of expecting to be fed and getting greedy/bolshy, which means it's more likely to nip or bite. Which the owner then has to try and retrain.

Sorry for the rant, I'll get off my soapbox.

LighthouseSouth · 17/06/2018 00:02

This is happening in local social media groups? I suggest you set up some kind of award e.g. Craziest complaint of the month. The prize is a day of work experience with a farmer.

BlankTimes · 17/06/2018 00:14

Can you put up some temporary and really ugly screening that blocks his view of YOUR field entirely?

Then when he moans "his view" is ruined, tell him you put it there because he complained about what he could see in YOUR field.

It would be too OTT ask him menacingly if he saw this article about someone who objected to looking at a working farm. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5847375/Pictured-Millionaire-expat-British-executive-shot-outside-French-home.html

CheshireChat · 17/06/2018 00:15

Sorry, but I'm just picturing the OP trying to potty train her sheep 😂.

But yes to peacocks, they are gorgeous so I bet your neighbour will be happy about the view right up until they start making an awful racket. Heard a screaming contest between a few peacocks and a parrot/ cockatiel- bloody hell the NOISE.

Maelstrop · 17/06/2018 00:33

I can believe this thread, I've seen threads on MN suggesting that riders clean up after their horses

Yes, I’ll just jump off my 17hh normally very well-behaved horse that you’ve spooked and shovel up his shit....oh no, wait, I have neither shovel nor do I give a shit!

SusanneLinder · 17/06/2018 00:34

Am finding this thread hilarious....😂. Shagging sheep putting him off his breakfast...he really must be a special kind of stupid.
Re horse poo, my dad used to keep a bag and a shovel in back of his car and shovel up horse shit. He was a very keen gardener. I actually quite like the smell....Blush

Angie169 · 17/06/2018 00:45

Next time they complain about animals disturbing there meal smile sweetly and ask what they were eating , if they have eaten any kind of meat look mortified and exclaim thats where Daisy / buttercup / Miss Piggy went and walk away weeping . if there is no mention of meat then get in a huff and say its the likes of you that mean farmers are struggling to survive.

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