As promised Funeral Director here (waves)

[oohnarna]

I am ready for your questions!

I will do my best to answer, I have a few bits I am doing at home but will answer regularly throughout the evening as much as I can.

@Idontmeanto it used to be a thing where nursing staff opened a window near to someone coming to the end so that their soul could get away easily

When my late father and exFIL died quite recently I noticed open windows again ... is this still done for the same reason, do you know?

Hi, I'd like to ask something....
When my dad passed away it was late at night, and the Marie curie nurse said we must ring a fd asap. He died at home.
Anyway we hadn't a clue who to ring so picked one from the phone book, and they were lovely. It must've been around midnight, 1 am, and they turned up after about 39 minutes, looking fresh as Daisy's and in very smart mourning suits. So how come? They say ring them anytime, 24hours a day, but they're a small family firm, how can they look so awake and with it, I always thought I'd dragged him out of bed!

Also, when preparing dad, they told us to close the door and wait for them to say we could come out, why?
He looked awful when he died, but when we visited him in the chapel of rest he was smiling, and the fd said he couldn't do anything about the smile, which really comforted me.
You do an amazing job, thank you.

Depends on the nurse! I’ve not practised for 16 years now but I certainly came across the superstition. Don’t know if any still have it.

@weaverspin as an Anglican vicar we charge less than £100 for a crematorium funeral! It is more if the service is in the church first as that includes hire of building and organist and verger fees etc.

I've not yet read all the thread and I'm hoping this one also can be put somewhere where it won't disappear.

My question is this:
My family is tall. My Dad apparently had the longest willow coffin available but, it was still 'cramped' for him so, I was wondering, I have family members that are 7ft tall - even taller than my Dad so, what would the choices be for them, when the time comes?
Thank you.

Fascinating thread. Thanks OP.

Hi folks. We've moved this thread out of Chat and into Classics now as a lot of you had asked it be moved somewhere it doesn't disappear after 90 days.

Here's a thought...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/business-41038442/the-new-zealanders-designing-their-own-coffins

Do you think it will catch on here 'Coffin Clubs'? Design and make your own personalised coffin and keep it in the garage!

Hi oohnarna What things have you seen that shouldn't be there?

Really enlightening thread, thank you.

Re the opening windows, I'm a student nurse and I have seen this done at every death I've been around so far. Also as regards to washing after death, when it occurs at the hospital, it was always done gently and personally, with the staff talking to them throughout. I actually really enjoyed the privilege and found it to be a peaceful and caring thing to do.

MIL and FIL are well prepared for the funerals, my parents are not and I expect I will end up paying as they have no money or assets. Interesting to know that I could set up a plan on their behalf, I may talk to my siblings about this.

A relative passed away I think the first sign the soul had 'gone' was when they were asking why hasn't deceased husband visited. Bearing in mind I'm over 40 & he passed when I was little.

The last time I saw said close relative it was really awful, if my Father wasn't there I would have given the nursing staff a stern talking to, as I'm by no means medically qualified but know about the Liverpool Care Plan from a previous bereavement.

It really was like her soul had left her body, or sat most of it, what was left was very frightened, very confused, very scared. But I think when the person made the decision to go down a certain path, they didn't know what it would entail. It wasn't very nice to see at all. I'm actually crying thinking about it and it's been a while.

@oohnarna this thread is amazing. I've come across it as I'm looking to persue a career as a funeral arranger. I appreciate this an old thread, but would you mind letting me know if it might be a mistake to expect a funeral home to take me on part time as I have two small children? (I'm looking to get back into work after taking 18 months off) Is it a vocation that would be better suited when the kids are older or could it all be manageable??

I'd appreciate your thoughts on this.

Many thanks 😊😊

I know this is an older thread. I lost my Dad recently, he was elderly and in hospital and they rang me early that morning to say he had gone. I went up to the hospital and he was still in his bed. The staff had tucked him in and the lights were low etc. He was the first person I have ever seen, dead. And he, my lovely Dad, just wasn’t there. It was the oddest thing, it was like I was sitting with some luggage he had left, not him. I straightened his hair and then opened the window and said “if you’re in here, you can go through that window there.” I have no idea why I did it and I firmly felt he was around but not in that body any more.

I’m not particularly spiritual but I really believe we are souls that happen to live in particular bodies for a while and then we leave them. I miss my Dad but I’m also at peace with wherever he is.