If teenagers were on AIBU

[drinkswineoutofamug]

My mums a right biddy. Right I can roll my school skirt up 3 times to get it short. Maxine says it’s well good and Darren says I have nice legs. But OMG my biddy mum says she can see my breakfast when I bend over! I mean OMG! Really! Says I’m not going out the house like that. She’s so old . She’s 35 and knows nothing about being a teenager. She still used a tin can and string to talk to her old biddy mates. Aibu?

I'm going to be a teenager next month, so I've been practising in advance yeah, and like OMG my parents went mental just because I ruined my mum's birthday dinner by throwing a massive strop in a restaurant when they said I can't have a new iphone because, get this, the one I've got "is only a year old"! I mean it's practically steam-powered, I'm going to be soooo embarrassed at the lame posh girls' school they force me to go to so I can get a decent education. Anyway I sort of said sorry the next day - I texted the old biddy and everything, threw in a couple of heart emojis, 'cos that gets her every time. I suppose I could have actually come downstairs and said it to her face but I was really busy facetiming Elissa 'cos she's having a crisis - her parents won't let her have the adidas superstars she REALLY NEEDS.

My Ma is a bitch! Theres like this well sick party with people who have vodka and weed ffs and she says I can't go cuz she wants my to keep my brain cells. Like whattttttttttt? She aint got none left cuz she's old.

she also sez I'm not allowed to talk to my ex just cuz he stalked me and threatened to kill me when we broke up! fuck me, what else will I be able to make drama with to tell the girlz now?

I don't know why I'm posting here cuz I ANBU! ever.

My mum bought me the make up that I've been going on about for like aggggeeesss and then expects a thank you. But the silly cow bought me a shade lighter than my
Normal been tangoed colour.

Omg my mom had the nerve to SPEAK to my friend when she let them in.
I mean wtf and then the cheeky cow has a go at me when I tell her to go away so me and di can attempt to draw eyebrows on and FaceTime jo. We NEED the kitchen table to do it despite having my own bedroom which involves making my little brother sit on the floor.

My mum is much more unreasonable than yours. I am so EMBARRASSED by her. In every possible way.

Seriously!!! My dad tells me off for not listening! He told me to get a move on, so I asked if he could bring my uniform upstairs for me. He kept shouting up that he couldn’t find it! Then he wakes my mum up. My mum has a chronic illness and needs her sleep. So she told him it was on the horse where she hung it up last night. Apparently he thought I said unicorn! But mum heard uniform! So how come I can’t give him you need to listen speech.

Love this, very much needed after the weekend we've had with our teens, and must show it to DH later😂

Mums got the arse with me AGAIN, can't do nothing right these days. I'm sure she's bipolar. She makes me go to nans every wed after school as she thinks she needs the company and says it the least I can do, as I do nothing else apparently!

Amyways I'm like coming out of school and send mum a text asking her to get me an uber to nans. The menopausal nag doesn't even reply so I send 20 more begging her and even say please ..... she gets the arse, says she's in a meeting and stop texting and get the bus and I'm lazy!!

Lazy! Bet she wouldn't want to wait for a bus with a load of jarring year 7s just to go and see an old lady. .... and I'm desperate for a crap but she couldn't care less, says I should use school toilets ..... errrr hello have you seen them!!

And I'm starving cos the tight bitch only puts a tenner on my lunch account each week.

Yeah, but like my mum had a real hissy pissy fit just cos I like stood under the shower for 40 minutes like this morning. I mean, for God's sake like, she made me get out of bed for school, how the fuck does she think I am going to wake up? And so what if I had't even washed my hair or any thing in that time. I showed her, I used her well expensive stuff to get her back, and left the empty bottles on the shower floor. That'll teach her to yell at me. It's not even as if we have to pay for water is it, I mean, like, it comes from the sky. It's my basic human right. And now the silly cow will have to drive me to school because I'm late and it's ALL HER FAULT because of the shouting. How am I supposed to concentrate in school when she winds me up before I even get there. At least I can put my head phones in in the car and ignore her. She can bloody drop me round the corner too so no one sees me with her. Bloody embarrassing. AIBU or what like?

CBAAAAAAAA. I had a shower, OK? Well OK I washed my hair and sprayed myself with some Lynx - it's just as good. Why didn't I go in the shower? Uuuhhh. CBA. Takes too long. I haven't got time.

Stop talking to me, I'm busy. What? I've got to watch eleventy million YouTube clips and scream freeee shh avock adoooo so loud the cat scarpers.

And when my mates come over don't say ANYTHING to them. And hide my sister. On second thoughts we'll just stay outside. With our heads tilted, flicking our hair.

Oh god, the music thing! My mum is soo basic but she somehow knows the words to all the songs from Glee even though she's never watched the show! Like she knows them from a past life or something.

And I was playing a cool new Spice Girls video on YouTube and she sang along and said she was listening to the Spice Girls before I was born! Which is impossible as they only look about 17 in the Wannabe video, so I know she's lying to mess with me.

Plus, a new release came on the radio the other day in the car called 'Let's Talk About Sex Baby' and before I could go to switch the station to avoid having to listen to a song which is so blatantly about sex in front of my mother, she got all excited and said 'no, leave it, I know this!' and started singing along with all the lyrics. All of them. Soo cringe.

My mum keeps telling me to wear a coat. FFS doesn’t she know that nobody wears coats these days 🙄

AIBU to be totally embarrassed by how my mum looks? I’ve really tried to help her but she just will not let me do her eyebrows, highlight and contouring. She keeps going on about how I look prettier without it and not needing all that muck and the ‘natural look’. Don’t get me started on the mom jeans and her obsession with cardigans and fleeces. We went shopping last week and I just refused to go in White Stuff and Joules - those shops give me anxiety. Why can’t she just get stuff from Topshop like normal people.

Does anyone know where the fuck Oxbridge is? as my school says I good enough to study there annnnnnnnnnd they even told my 'rents at the last 'rents evening.

Now thanks to school, my oldies are now nagging (more like ordering, if you see what i mean?) me to apply as "i'll be the 1st in the family to do so "...but I show them by getting a job doing what i enjoy.

WTF is wrong with this picture? I make my own lunch don’t I? Does she really expect me to eat the fatty bits and the rind too? And don’t talk to me about salad, green stuff is for losers.

Well I texted HER and asked HER to bring my project into to school as I kinda forgot to put it in my bag like she’s nags me to every night (or was it because I was wearing my noise cancelling headphones?) and she said she was busy like, I mean it’s not as if she’s got a job like. She had the the nerve to point out that if I got on my bike i could make it home at back at break, (like that’s gonna happen) or she could ‘pop it in a taxi, which would be about £10 and he’d probably need to be paid when he got there,’ Does she think I’m made of money? What else has she got to do all day?

WWYD my mum is docking my allowance to pay for the PE kit I lost at school. It's only the third one I've lost in the last year. And she has bought massive labels to sew on the OUTSIDE of my new kit "so it won't get lost again". Soooo embarassing...

AIBU to want blonde hair?

I was naturally dark blonde. Then I went brunette. Then I went red and then black and then blue/black.

And then I wanted to be blonde again, as you do. And then blue again. And then blonder. And then purple. Then I had to be brunette again for school.

I've had brown hair for six weeks now. Six whole weeks. It's time to be blonde again.

My mother keeps telling me my hair will break off. Like, why can't she understand, hair dye exists for a reason? I've sent her links to pictures of the kind of blonde I want and she's just ignoring them. I am not being unreasonable.

AIBU to think my mum should just get a cleaner and stop asking me to do stuff like tidy my room or put things in the dishwasher. She’s always saying I should believe in myself, dream big and aim high so why does she want ME to clean?

Also all my friends are going on amazing holidays at half term but we are not going abroad anywhere. It’s so embarrassing, like are we that poor that we cannot go away somewhere cool? People will be like posting cool beach pictures on insta and Snapchat and I will be like such a sad looser at our rental cottage in the country.

Aibu to think my Mum is over reacting by telling me that she's found a used and covered in blood scanpro in the washing basket in between her and mine and siblings clothes (

Sanpro obviously!

JustHope I know right, FFS cowbag is making me go to Iceland with them, Im 15 and totally grown up right? AND if I didnt go she could buy me the new iphone and laptop and neverending 4G data right? AND she'd save money, AND my stupid Sis would be happier, see Im not selfish or ungrateful

Note by cowbag, Im very tempted!!

Can't believe my parents are having to think about whether or not they can afford to send me on the school trip to the Seychelles! It's only £150,000 for 2 weeks and its really important for my education and my exams to study the culture and the beaches and the food and drink. Just coz they don't want to go further than the stupid Norfolk Broads doesn't mean some of us don't want to explore the world. They both work and have old I-phones so wot do they spend their wages on???