If teenagers were on AIBU

[drinkswineoutofamug]

My mums a right biddy. Right I can roll my school skirt up 3 times to get it short. Maxine says it’s well good and Darren says I have nice legs. But OMG my biddy mum says she can see my breakfast when I bend over! I mean OMG! Really! Says I’m not going out the house like that. She’s so old . She’s 35 and knows nothing about being a teenager. She still used a tin can and string to talk to her old biddy mates. Aibu?

OMG!! Like my mum and dad went apeshit just because I disappeared for 3 nights and didn’t tell them where I was going! Like Why would I tell them where I was going when they would just turn up and embarrass me!! They even called the police and then put a campaign on Facebook to find me!! Then my cow bag of a mother rang my school and the school sent home letters with everyone and rang all my friends mums and dads! Kill me now!!!!!
None of the girls told anyone where I was so at least they have some loyalty not like my fucking mum and dad!
Then when the police kicked down the door of a squat and found me with three 19 years old lads taking drugs we were all arrested!! What the hell is that all about?! Just trying to relax and this is what I get!!
My mum completely over reacted and got to the police station hysterical with no make up on and she seriously needed to do her hair she looked a right state!
Was I really being unreasonable for wanting to smoke weed and have a few days break?! They go one mini breaks all the time don’t see me calling the police. Selfish bastards

This was my actual 14 year old niece 3 years ago

We are on holiday & SHE's up tidying the fucking room at this time of the morning!!! It's only like 6:35 back home (2 hours ahead here) it's still technically the middle of the night!!

OH FFS!!! Now she's got the balcony doors open & its fucking freezing cause I decided to sleep in a g-string with my arse hanging out - I bet Kianna & Morgan are still sleeping off their hangovers in Maga without their mums being complete cunts - fuck knows what she's tidying for anyway she does know the hotel has like maids for that shit but keeps banging on about how they're not paid to pick my manky knickers off the floor...

Breakfast time she says... eh I'll get the late breakfast that doesn't finish until 11 so fuck off & give me peace to sleep you old cowbag

Mine's still only 11 but some of these are already sounding familiar.

She so triggered

My mum has old timers or somefink. She always tells me that when I speak wif my friends in England I'm all text speak and slang jargon. That I need to learn to speak English properly. So I tells her that the school has a new exchange program wif a school in the USA, it's only like 15,000 us dollars and I can go and learn Enlgish wif a real English speaking family. She asked me why I fink I need that and told me I would look like a right idiot. Like WTF?! Make your mind up you crazy old bat. Now she says I can't go and like everyone is going. Now all my friends are going to come back and know Enlgish and get good jobs and everyfink and I'm going to be left behind. I told her I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life cleaning shoes and living in the slums and that it's all her fault that I will be an outcast and never learn the language of my peoples

I've got bags

So I wanted some jam on my scones and didn't want to use the cheap jam she had So like I went into the fridge and l at the back of if I have shoved a jar of jam and did not put the lid back on then told her we had none so she bought nice jam cause the local shop don't sell cheap stuff.

Then last night it looked like she was going to find it so I told her about the cheap jam being mouldy but didn't remove it from fridge when she thought I had so she got more jam.

Fuck her it isn't even mouldy ha.

Crap grammar sorry, seriously tired!

My other one would be.

My Mum's such a bitch I mean she tidies up the house and washes the pots and hoovers without asking me to help and it pisses me off. I shouted at her for cleaning all the time I mean I never move my pots and leave my shit all over the house but what the fuck does she have to tidy.

I'm sick to death of coming home from my 2 hours at college to find my bed unmade, wet towels on my floor, washing dirty and clean screwed up on my floor and my make up and hair stuff all over the place, dishes and cups with God knows growing on them! I don't even know how they get there!
Ok I might have left the odd cup now and then.
It was my dm's day off yesterday! What does she do? Spend time running round after my little sister!! Oh she tidies her room and clears her dishes while I get nothing as usual!
And on top of that she expects me go to the paupers office to claim free meals and travel! Either that or pay for it myself! She only gives me £20 a week for babysitting while she hangs out at work and I only earn about £60 a week from my job.
She will run my sister to school and pick her up but won't give me a lift to college even though my college is further away!
Think it's clear favouritism!
She's offered to pay for my provisional licence and a block of driving lessons for my birthday! My birthday no presents just that. No car or insurance what's the actual point? Won't even let me have her car. She "needs it" apparently, probably to ferry my sister around everywhere!
God I could go on forever with this one

So my mum only asked 5 times this morning if I had my dinner money this morning. Don't know why she is going mad now cos I've texted her in work to tell her I don't have any. She got my Gran to hand some into the school office how embarrassing. I don't know if my grans been to the office yet and that's been at least 5 minutes since I asked and so I think I'll text my mum again lots of times to ask her....she's told me to go up to the office and ask myself....wtf how selfish does she not care that I might not be able to eat and go down to the chippy at lunchtime with the boys. So selfish.

AIBU to not want to have to clear up my mess each day.
I had to get out of bed this morning, get dressed, eat a breakfast that I didn't even want and go to school for like 40 Hours and then walk home again.
Mum doesn't do anything except her job and cooking dinner so why can't she do something for me for a change and stop going on at me and pick things up herself. She needs the exercise more than me anyway.
If it bothers her that much she should get a cleaner and stop expecting me to be her skivvy all the time.

So because my mum fucked off out on a horse safari with my sister I went to get a pedicure with my gran at the hotel spa & now mums come back & is actual raging that I've went to the spa & not thought to leave the room key with my auntie so that she could get in to get changed out of her minging clothes even though the last thing she said before leaving was that I need to remember & leave the key if I go anywhere... but it's cool cause gran had a go at her for having a go at me & gran paid for my pedicure, my hair braiding & bought me a new hoody! Told her I'm moving into grans room for the rest of the holiday cause she's way cooler easier to manipulate than that bitchface!

So me and the boys wanted to go and see IT last Saturday.?Mum was moaning that we wouldn't get in just cos we are only 13 and it is a 15 but what does she know......She knows nothing so said it was up to us . I asked to borrow her passport for ID but she wouldn't give me it....so selfish....Think we would definitely have got in if Aidan hadn't asked for a slushy and some pick n mix at the desk and it was so embarrassing when we had to get our money back in front of the huge queue....

Like, yeah, like wtf m8?
Like I'm running l8 so I Aks her 4 a lift. Does she get me!? Does she fuck.
So now I can't go to school and I ain't going to tell her and like fuck her. Fuck him. Fuck school. Fuck the police.
I'm gunna sit here and watch porn and wank into a sock then watch MTV and pretend I'm a black gangsta rapper and not a middle class white boi from chiswick.
And fuck all them mumsnet cunts!
Bad fucking influence in my old un.
I seed her posts and wot she writes innit?
Fucking puts
Aibu? My son is a lazy shit wannabe gangsta rapper who slices school and smokes weed and masturbates into socks and leaves them to crust.
That's fucking confidential info I'm phoning the socials.
Get me own place innit

So the cow bought me an ipad and now wants me to snapchat her. Like as if! She only bought it so she could stalk me. Bitch. She's like so embarrassing. Then, if I do find time to talk to her, when I really don't have time, it's like 20 questions about school FFS. AIBU to tell her snapchat has closed down and I can't get a phone signal? Plus she asks about my friends as if she has met them or something. How is Stephen, how is Holly. How about she fucks right off and stops pretending she knows anything about my life.
And oh, the immortal shame. She starts telling me about porn on the web and I put her in her place and told her that I know like ten times more than she will ever know. She's so unreasonable.

I KNOW...

I KNOW...

I KNOW alright

You don't need to keep going on and on and on about it Jeeeeeeezzzzz

Plus she only got me one month of data for my phone. Told me I've to spend my pocket money on data 'in the future'. She loves that 'in the future' shit. In da future I won't have enough credit or data to contact the stupid cow. She'll buy it for me then so she can continue to stalk me. She thinks she's so clever. She hasn't a clue about anything.

Then she goes on and on and on about my subject choices and whether I prefer German or Spanish. I've like told her I prefer Spanish but she like asks EVERY fucking day whether I still prefer Spanish. I haven't even trialed French yet and she's already TELLING me that I'll love it. Thinking of choosing German to annoy the bitch. At least she doesn't speak it so can't annoy me with Wie gehts every fucking day like seriously. Tries to speak Spanish to me. I'm ashamed for her.

AIBU my stupid mother thinks I should consider the debating club. It's on at the same time as hockey. The evil one actually wants me to consider the debating club. I have never hit a ball at hockey but the cow just doesn't care about me and I could be really good at hockey. She is considering talking to the school about moving debating to a different time so I could attend. How fucking embarrassing. The only debate I want to engage in is how to stop the evil one interfering in my life.

Fucking crying at this thread one of the funniest for a while lmfao.

FFS my stupid mom is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. I mean like, WTF?

I had to plead with her this morning to ask her to pick me up from school and she was like "I'm not sure bab, I've got your little brother to pick up first, but I'll text you and let you know" She then texts me and tells me she will pick me up, so I ask her not to park right outside school ( she's got the shitty family ford vignale kuga, as my dad has the best one for his work) I'm not being seen getting in that fucking monstrosity and she's like " ok sweetheart, I'll park round one of the back side roads"

AND THERE SHE FUCKING WELL IS, ENT SHE? standing on the corner of the road like a prostitute "rocking" her skinny jeans and converse (she looks like a fucking idiot, she's well past it, old haggard 32 year old) fucking waving at me, Waving at me?? why the hell is she waving at me? I. can. see. her.
So I stormed over to her and was like "mom, why the hell are you waiting for me here, I said I'd walk to your car, are you becoming senile or something, do you not remember???" And she was all like "sorry bab, I was parked all the way around there and didn't think you'd find me, I wasn't directly outside your school though, love"

yeah alright mom, not outside my school but directly in the path of me and my mates waving at me, like really?? My phone has gps, send me your co-ordinates and I'll find you. Fuck! Is she a complete dickhead or what??

So she's decided that we're going out to a family night shitty thing when I totally wanted to go on the bar crawl with the hotel entertainment team cause Jay is well fit like & he told me I was beautiful at the pool today but she's trotting out this "you're only 17" shite again FFS I'll be 18 in like a month February so now I'll be sat in the family pub with bitchface & my sister (bitchface jnr) & it'll be soooo fucking embarrassing cause I bet the complete cockwomble gets up to sing karaoke & she sounds like a fucking cat being strangled!

& she's like wearing fucking trousers that Aladdin wears... fucking Aladdin... obvs I don't get my style from her cause I'm like rocking a flowery playsuit with a cord skirt over it but she keeps trying to put my top button in cause apparently I'm "flashing everything you've got which isn't much" yeah alright at least my boobs are where they should be not hanging round my belly button like her spaniels ears...

PMSL at the Aladdin trousers. Was considering buying them myself!

I'm getting the next flight home... she's just asked for a fucking sex on the beach & winked at the fit barman how fucking embarrassing can she be???

Why the fuck does my mother insist on turning the car radio up and singing so fucking loudly to either Katy Perry or Arianna Grande?
She even does it in the school car park. So embarrassing.
I might take the bus if she gives me the money obvs.

I keep telling her she is old and it's just not right.