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Original poster

Aibu to think this doesn't make sense (behind my back)

323 replies

tccat · 14/08/2017 20:50

Having an argument with Dh about this, I say the phrase "behind my back" doesn't make sense because if something was behind your back surely it would be in front of you?
I'm getting more and more irate trying to explain my point and only dogs and dolphins can hear me
Am I right?

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 15/08/2017 08:25

You're looking at it from a different perspective is all -

Those of us saying behind your back are viewing/imagining "you" from your face/front of body.

Those saying in front of your back are viewing "you" from the back of your body.

Took me ages to realise wtf you're on about, but I see where you're coming from now.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 15/08/2017 08:27

You are thinking in terms of being outside looking at your own back to have this idea, which is clearly where the confusion is coming from and is wrong

Think of your back as a part of you. It's already behind you, yes. So something AT your back is already behind you too.

AT your back and BEHIND your back are one and the same thing.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 15/08/2017 08:28

So if I asked you to put chocks in front of the rear (back) wheels of my car would you would position them so the car wouldn't roll backwards when the instruction would clearly mean they were to be positioned to stop the car rolling forward.....

When I visited a friend in hospital who was uncomfortable I put an extra pillow "behind her back", this meant between her back and the headboard.......

ThePants999 · 15/08/2017 08:36

OP, you're a raving lunatic.

Your back is facing the same direction as the rest of you. It's located at the back of your body, but that doesn't mean it's facing backwards. So anything that's behind your head, behind your shoulderblades, behind your calves, behind your ankles or indeed behind your back is BEHIND YOU.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:46

Perhaps you can walk backwards with your head swivelled 180 degrees on its axis. That may explain the confusion. Even if you could, you'd still be wrong. Because the front of your back is facing towards your stomach, breasts heart, lungs etc.

Cashewwnuts · 15/08/2017 08:49

OP I get your argument.

Example: a car. You are standing at the rear of the car. You are behind the car. You open the boot. You are in front of the boot.

By that logic, you can be at the rear of (behind a person) but be in front of their back or bum or whatever.

however that doesn't change your physical location to the rear of that entity. You are still behind them. 'In front of' as a phrase just means in the location of (usually facing towards) which is where you are confused.

Another example (to confuse the matter even more): take an object that has no discernable front or rear. A closed door. Person A is standing on one side of the door. From their own perspective they can be both in front of behind the door without changing their physical position. Person B is on the opposite side of the door. To them, A is behind the door and they are in front of it. Person C is on the same side as A. To them, A remains in front of the door. So A is simultaneously in front of and behind the door, depending on who you ask.

Take this back to a physical person, Person X. They have a discernable front and rear. Front being (obviously) their face side and rear being their back side.

Person Y stands facing X's face and Person Z stands to face X's back.

Person Y is in front of X's face AND in front of them as an entity.

Person Z is in front of X's back/arse/ankles but behind X as an entity.

Shitty diagram included.
Hope this makes sense, I'm so hungover.

Aibu to think this doesn't make sense (behind my back)
NoWordForFluffy · 15/08/2017 08:57

Holy shit, my head hurts having read all of this thread this morning.

OP: you're hilarious, but entirely wrong! 😂

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:58

Exactly Cashew.

TheStoic · 15/08/2017 09:07

If someone was standing with their back facing you and someone said " go and stand behind their back" where would you go? I would go to the front of them

Oh. My. God.

Their back is not 'facing' you.

Your husband needs to LTB.

diddl · 15/08/2017 09:09

"I just don't agree you can physically be behind someone's back"

OMG it gets worse funnier.

Original poster
tccat · 15/08/2017 09:30

Stoic I think he would agree with you, still at least he wouldn't be arranging it behind my back 😀

OP posts:
user7841794168 · 15/08/2017 10:05

Alice tinker could join Mensa if this thread is anything to go by GrinWink

BlondeB83 · 15/08/2017 10:12

Look at the dictionary definition of behind and you will realise you are wrong.

AlternativeTentacle · 15/08/2017 10:30

OP - if you can step backwards and bump into the person, then they are behind your back. Simple as.

StepAwayFromCake · 15/08/2017 10:40

You're mixing it up with the double negative rule, which doesn't apply here.

You are a whole entity. Whatever is behind you is behind every part of you. 'Behind your back' is the same as 'Behind you'. The only difference is when you are trying to describe something within you eg 'I have a pain behind my nose.'

ForagingForFaerieGold · 15/08/2017 11:30

Ok. I think OP. you are starting off with am entirely false premise. Hear me out. I agree that the phrase "behind your/her/his back" does not mean what it sounds as if it means. (What we visualise when we say it). It does not refer to a defined physical location of the gossips to the subject except to mean that they are out of sight and/or hearing of the subject. This could be in front of the subject. i.e. several seats forward on a bus or in another room that the subject is facing. They could equally be behind the subject or above it beneath them. It's irrelevant where they are. The phrase doesn't refer to WHERE they in a literal sense at all.
Much like the phrase "look out " actually means the opposite and that you should dive for cover.
What most people visualise when they hear the phrase (if they are visually oriented) is a person gossiping literally behind someone. But intellectually we know this isn't what is meant.
In this sense, the phrase is not technically "wrong".

Can you physically be behind someone's back?
I think you can. Because if you are behind someone. You are behind their front AND their back. Think of it spatially. If a person is sitting in a car that is in front of yours. Regardless of which way they are facing, YOU are behind them. You are behind both the driver (who is hopefully facing forward) and the kids staring at you through the back windscreen. But you express this as being behind them. Not being behind their back or front.

To express the idea of standing physically behind someone as being "behind their back " is redundant. And yet, if you stand behind someone who turns round you are then facing them. At that point they are still in front of you but you are also in front of them. Neither of you is behind the other.
Yet you COULD express the idea of standing behind someone who is facing away from you as "facing their back". So I see your point.

Because of this linguistic tangle I think you are both right and wrong. It all depends on context.

Damia · 15/08/2017 11:34

What about the words beside you or next to you are they also wrong? Are people in front of your left and right arm? :)

IloveBanff · 15/08/2017 11:38

OP, if you walk backwards do you think your back is moving forwards?

MargotLovedTom1 · 15/08/2017 12:11

If someone dropped something on the floor behind them, would you say "It's in front of your heel"?

If so, then you're a bit odd Grin.

BennySF · 15/08/2017 12:11

I get what you mean OP, when I was a kid I had the hardest time with negative questions:
If asked "You don't want that sandwhich?", to say that I don't want it I would answer litteraly "yes" meaning "yes, you are correct, I don't want it" instead of the accepted figure of speech "no".

MargotLovedTom1 · 15/08/2017 12:14

If someone dropped a magazine behind a chest of drawers, would you say "It's in front of the back of the drawers," or "It's behind the drawers"?

Behind your back is no different to behind the back of the drawers.

IloveBanff · 15/08/2017 12:22

I'm going to repeat a question that a PP asked earlier. If a policeman told you to put your hands behind your back where would you put them?

WhereWhyWhat · 15/08/2017 12:42

Those disagreeing with OP, when you scratch YOUR BACK are you scratching the

a) FRONT of YOUR BACK

or the

b) BACK of YOUR BACK?

I'm guessing you're going to answer that it's option 'b' right?

You're bonkers. It's not the BACK OF YOUR BACK, it IS YOUR BACK.

So 'behind' your back, is your front.

Original poster
tccat · 15/08/2017 12:57

Where!!!! ❤❤❤ behind your back is indeed your front, that's my thinking exactly

OP posts:
Original poster
tccat · 15/08/2017 12:59

Banff, I would put them behind my back because I would understand what he meant, I still wouldn't think he was grammatically correct though
Does your user name refer to Banff in Scotland?

OP posts: