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Original poster

Aibu to think this doesn't make sense (behind my back)

323 replies

tccat · 14/08/2017 20:50

Having an argument with Dh about this, I say the phrase "behind my back" doesn't make sense because if something was behind your back surely it would be in front of you?
I'm getting more and more irate trying to explain my point and only dogs and dolphins can hear me
Am I right?

OP posts:
MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 16/08/2017 23:37

I can understand why OP feels that "behind my back" doesn't really make sense - but not for the reasons given. I think OP is confusing literal and figurative meanings.

To me, it is not meant to be understood literally. Our backs are not discrete objects and do not actually have "fronts" and "backs", so the terms "in front of my back" and "behind my back" cannot apply in a literal sense.

It's simply a figure of speech (as MelsMam pointed out on page 1!) that captures the idea of speech made out of your hearing (figuratively behind you) while also being aimed at you (as they're behind you, the energy is directed at your back).

IT'S NOT MEANT LITERALLY - just as zillions of other phrases are not meant literally: "Catch you later", "Fed up to the back teeth", "Gets right up my nose" etc etc.

OP, you simply are not distinguishing between literal meanings and figures of speech.

Happytobefree17 · 17/08/2017 01:12

This is in classics? Hmm

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 17/08/2017 01:30

This really shouldn't be in classics.

Original poster
tccat · 17/08/2017 01:53

This is in classics? 😊 I didn't realise! Mumsnet HQ must have done this behind my back 😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 17/08/2017 05:38

This thread really shouldn't be in classics.

missmollyhadadolly · 17/08/2017 06:00

Really, this is in Classics? This place is going to the dogs.

FastForward2 · 17/08/2017 06:35

Its like taking aspirin 'for a headache' does not make any sense at all. Why would you? If you want a headache there are better ways, a glass of cheap red wine for tomorrows headache or a whiney toddler for headache today. Pneumatic drill noise or teenager thumping hifi for more immediate results. Then if all else fails, as the advert says, for headaches, 'nothing acts faster than anadin' so you could try that.

TennisAtXmas · 17/08/2017 06:35

Saw this 2 days ago, can't believe its still going! The answers seems to range from:

'You're wrong, the phrase makes sense'
To:
' I sort of see why you were confused..but you're wrong'

Original poster
tccat · 17/08/2017 07:04

Fast , my thinking exactly, obviously we know what it means but taken literally it doesn't make sense
I'd also like to point out for all the miseries out there that it was a lighthearted argument with my husband, we were both laughing at my daftness, like I previously said the thread was semi lighthearted also
Have a wonderful day everyone 💋

OP posts:
embo1 · 17/08/2017 07:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

embo1 · 17/08/2017 07:11

bo1

"Behind your back" refers to someone doing something without your knowledge.
"Behind you" refers to the physical space behind you.
So you're both wrong!

diddl · 17/08/2017 08:11

Classics?

Oh dear!

MsLexicon · 17/08/2017 10:03

You have a back; if something is behind that... see?
Behind the wall would not be in front of the wall...
Think of your back as a wall.

It' a funny one though.

Leapfrog44 · 17/08/2017 10:59

Is your back at your front then?

Nah it's a point of reference thing. Your front is the point of reference, you can't switch it at will or we'd never be able to explain whether anything was behind, in front , above or below.

Your poor husband!

Ineke · 17/08/2017 13:20

Sounds bizarre to me .If you are to wear a dress and the zip is done up at the back, that is being behind your back. Your BACK is a thing, as is your ABDOMEN, or HIP. The zip on you dress is behind your back, if it was in front of your back you would have swallowed it. I feel for your husband!

DodgyGround · 17/08/2017 13:28

Op.
Imagine you're facing a door.

If someone is talking in front of your back they're in front of you. Between you and the door.

If someone is talking behind your back they're behind you.

And then you'd be standing between them and the door.

They're the last one ... at the very back. Unseen. (If you're still facing the door).

So anything they say is "behind your back" (unseen).

manicmij · 17/08/2017 21:16

If there is a car driving behind the back of your car, is it in front? No way.

foodiefil · 17/08/2017 22:50

Yes if they are standing behind me they are behind me, but they're not behind my back, they're in front of it

Imagine 'they' is someone in a queue. They're behind you so they're behind you in the queue. Behind your back. Facing doesn't mean in front of

ChevalierTialys · 19/08/2017 19:48

I get your thinking, but you are wrong. If its behind you, its behind your back, because your back is part of you.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2017 20:16

Perhaps op can clearly twist her head 180 degrees so her back has a face.

Eolian · 19/08/2017 20:42

Haven't read all of the thread, but two things seem obvious to me:

  1. The point is that when you talk about things being behind or in front, it's all from the visual perpective of where you are standing and which way you are looking. So because you are looking forwards (rather than looking out through eyes on your back), something behind you is behind your back.

  2. This has nothing whatsoever to do with grammar. It's to do with meaning and context.

scaryclown · 20/08/2017 21:58

You are Shroedinger, and are driving a car.
At the first stop, everyone gets out. In the second stop, one person gets in. A car is behind you, and you see it signal in the mirror and it turns off. This means it turned off behind you.

Another car comes up behind you, but you didn't see it signal. One minute it's bearing down on you, but when you look again, it's suddenly not there. This car turned off behind your back, at least it didn't overtake, or it would be in front of you.

When you look up, there are two cars in front of you. Which one is really there?

Lavenderfly · 27/09/2017 21:42

Someone once described a person to me as having: "a face like the back end of a cat's arse.
It cause no end of confusion and I often wonder what the back end of a cat's arse looks like Confused

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