Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

[MumBod]

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

Idratherhaveacupoftea, I became the oldest person in my family at the age of 27. I am the keeper of all the family history and the provider of all family dinners and get togethers etc. I am the 'matriarch' of the family line and have been for years.

I'm doing the maths on this thread. So people saying they were born born less than thirty years after the end of the Second World War but who don't want to wear a 1970 t shirt are presumably born in around 1973-4? So are approx 43?

And in the same thread there are people saying that people in their thirties can't understand this stuff because they are in that flush of youth? And people in their twenties posting that they think it applies to them? And people in their sixties who are rolling their eyes at everyone? Does that about sum it up?

You suddenly discover how brilliant Springwatch is and really miss not having it to watch on Friday and Saturday evenings.

You forgot us 50- somethings Purple

You finally understand the meaning of "youth is wasted on the young"

Never mind chin bristles . . . one day you will look in the mirror and see Stalin looking back out . . .

You will need bionic vision to spot those bristles on your chin and pluck them out before they become a beard....ironically this happens just as your eyesight deteriorates and you start having to juggle various pairs of glasses for different purposes

you've got it spot on purple

You laugh uproariously when your adult nephew has his first encounter with an old-fashioned phone and asks how the dial works.

DH, incidentally, is channelling aspects of his late father as he ages: the awful punning sense of humour and the rising at dawn to trot out into the damp dawn countryside for Exercise.

Your original reading glasses are now needed to watch the telly, you need 3.5 strength to actually read.

Lumel I wish DH was channeling his father, he appears to be turning into his mother instead.

The ones about turning into your Mum or opening your mouth and your Mum comes out make me sad. My mum died when I was 8 so I don't have this point of reference.
Don't want to turn into my Dad!

you know when you look amazing, you walk into a bar, people stop and look ...yeah hold on to that - once you reach 40 you still look hot but people don't see you - it's like the odd grey pube acts like a cloak of invisibility

also you will shave your toes ...and chin

oh yes and there comes a point when holding things up to the light and squinting doesn't work - you will keep reading glasses on the microwave to read cooking instructions

You accidently look in a magnifying mirror with your glasses on and scare yourself silly (chin hairs and nose hairs and pores, oh my!).

(OPs, re Mary Whitehouse Experience, was just thinking about that prog the other day - History Today in particular. Loved it.)

When you have the chilling realisation for the first time in your life that you were born 30 years after the end of WW2.

When you walk past someone handing out fliers for a trendy new club and they don't offer you one

When the lines around your eyes meet up with the lines around your mouth to make one giant set of lines running down your whole face

When you look down and see your mum's hands poking out of the ends of your sleeves

When you see a tv ad for 'Now 247' and you don't recognise a single song, then realise you have no idea what's in the top 40 (do they even have a top 40 on a Sunday afternoon now?) And when you do hum a modern song to yourself and some child looks at you with incredulity and asks you how you know it.

When a night out has to involve food, somewhere to sit and the music can't be too loud (oh yes, it turns out that there is such a thing as too loud). And if it's cold, you're wearing a coat. That ability you have to wear a thin little dress and not to feel the cold will vanish.

The hair, oh God, the hair! The hair on your head gets wiry and lots of hairstyles start to look ridiculous on you. Your eyebrows start to become invisible, your eyelashes get shorter. You start growing a beard to rival Brian Blessed's and your toes start to look like they belong to Bilbo Baggins.

You stop getting excited about new clothes and start getting excited about new household items.

You look at young women wearing fabulous high heels and instead of wondering where you got them, your first thoughts are about bunions and blisters.

But, on the plus side, you develop a level of confidence that comes with age. You know who you are and what you like. You know that the things that would have been the end of the world in your twenties actually really don't matter that much.

Iamnot You forgot us 50- somethings Purple..

My only consolation is that the invisible decade will happen to Purple too and we'll cackle laugh and laugh secure in the knowledge that Tena Lady will soak up any resultant dribbles of wee.

Wait, wasn't it the people in their fifties who were saying that the people in their thirties can't post her as that is the youthful bit they are one about? Not forgotten, but quoted.

Don't worry, I'm fully at ease with the idea that one day I will be in my 50s. I rather hope I will be, having lost several family members around or before that age.

When the first magnifying mirror you bought in order to get your mascara vaguely near your eyelashes is no longer magnifying enough. And you wish decent bathroom lighting and a humungously magnifying one were criteria on Expedia for choosing hotel rooms.

Purple I was laughing (on the principle that if I don't laugh at this thread - I'll cry) at the irony of overlooked 50 somethings being overlooked in your list. It wasn't a dig rather a gentle pisstake aimed mostly at my 50 something self.

Sorry but ...

Your tits will eventually end up under your armpits when you lie down.

You will spot yourself in a shop window and not recognise yourself immediately.

You will be horrified at a table booking for 9pm or later as you know the result will be 6 hours of heartburn commencing at around midnight.

You will look at photos of yourself and think, actually, I was quite pretty.

Sorry, but....

Instead of painting the town red on Friday night you do the supermarket shopping because it's so much quieter than on a Saturday or Sunday.

You always take a cardigan, 'just in case'.

You see a group of 18 year old girls out on an icy Saturday night in January, with bare arms, short skirts and six inch heels and your DP thinks they look ridiculous not sexy.

You're thinking to yourself that none of this will apply to you. When it does, you'll think 'oh shit'.

...going to the garden centre cafe for a bowl of soup, a scone and a latte is a great idea!

...you can make a sentence using the words plantar fasciitis , sciatica, Good Housekeeping Magazine and put the kettle on and NO-ONE raises an eyebrow.

...you walk into a clothes shop and say, "oh the music is FAR too loud!" Then remember your mum used to say that when you dragged her into Miss Selfridge in the 1980's

You have bathroom lights as bright as the noonday so that you can see to pull out your chin bristles DH can see to shave.

You and your friends have long conversations about the merits of the local physiotherapist.

NB I have had hairy toes for as long as I can remember. And nipple hairs. Possibly I was born middle aged, which might explain why I never liked loud music.

You are in a tourist spot with a reputation for theft or pickpockets yet people keep handing you 100s of pounds worth of technology to take their photos with.

There is no longer anything you can think of which will embarrass you. Nothing..can't think of a damn thing..but then it may be that my memory is going.

Lol my toes have been hairy since I was 15 - sign of good circulation apparently haha