Jesus fuck, my fanny is on fire!

[CatCafe]

So, tired of stubble down there, I thought I might achieve a smoother result with hair removal cream. Chose a sensitive skin/ bikini-line safe one, didn't bother patch testing just slathered it right on.

When I rinsed in the shower it felt like I was pouring acid onto myself, it burns when I walk or move and I'm fucking terrified of what'll happen when I need to pee so torn between crossing my legs and leaving them open in hope of "airing" my afflicted area.

Now walking like John Wane and have a fanny slathered in half a tub of Sudocrem.

Cheer me up with similar tales of personal grooming gone wrong/ advice on how to stop the pain.

Prior to going on holiday I bought loads of new knickers and washed them and all my others in new washing powder.

I have no idea what I was thinking as I can only use 2 tried and tested washing powders so should know better.

The state of my undercarriage doesn't bear thinking about.

I didn't work it out for 8 weeks. In that time I had 2 doctors appointments and a full STI check with HIV blood test thrown in for good measure, a course of antibiotocs and a canestan duo.

Mrsleigh - hurts like hell, doesn't it.

Use sensitive type. Don't put on vulva. Use sudocrem. Don't put on for more than 5 mins. Wear kickers and put on where hair sticks out only. Thus avoiding labia which is sensitive. Put on only a tiny amount. Since I last burnt myself this advice has seen me right.

It really did. It took a moment to register what was happening, by which time the damage was done. I probably weed over my feet in my attempt to get away, but to be honest, I was so distracted by the fricking agony that I wouldn't have noticed wee feet.

Ps don't use canesten using it too much burns too. While on hols in Cuba a Cuban doctor told me this - Cubans have the best medically trained staff in the world they use natural remedies a lot due to lack of supplies. Salt water is good for vaginally irritation.

Guilty of once spraying DH's lower back with copious amounts of Deep Heat and him screaming/swearing for quite a while when it dripped down his crack - and he gets piles, so not a happy bunny oops.

Talking of the Dead Sea - went to Israel years ago when I was 16 for a tour - decided to shave my legs the day before the Dead Sea trip and managed to shave off a chunk of leg around 4" long and 1" wide - bled all over the corridor I was running up and down screaming ... was the only one who couldn't go in float on the water.

My dear friend who has since passed once asked her bf to shave her foof for some op/pregnancy (can't remember which) - unfortunately he picked up the toothpaste instead and apparently it is a very painful minty experience

What a fantastic thread! Absolutely howling at Snotgobbler and 6demandingchildren!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry for all your pain people!!

Ladies I salute you! I've nearly had an asthma attack laughing at all these wonderful stories. I hope this makes it into classics. Sorry for your pain though.

I hold this thread wholly responsible for extremely acing sides all weekend.

I love the Amazon reviews not least of all the one by 'Andrew' 35,602 people found this helpful I do hope his undercarriage has recovered since 2012

Aching

Not a personal mishap but . .

Many years ago they used to put samples through the letterboxes of houses . Well in circa 1953 or thereabouts , my Great Grandad was home alone and a chocolate sample came through . So, he ate the lot . When the others came home he was back and forth to the toilet . . They found the wrapper , declared him a greedy old sod and serves him right . It was a sample of Laxatives . In his defence though the poor old boy could not read.

Ooh. Been there done that.. sensitive toilet wipes from sainsburys and nappy rash cream did wonders. this helped too.

Oh no my friend did this she didn't realise that soap and hair removal cream should never come into contact with each other, she lowered her legs into a bubble bath, skin peeled off for weeks!

fancied you are so right - this surely should be moved to "Classics"!!! I am going to tell MN so!!!!

It is done

Nominations for inclusion in Mumsnet Classics
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/394563-nominations-for-inclusion-in-mumsnet-classics

6demandingchildren

I have got such a headache after laughing so hard at your Mothers unfortunate events.

It was the story that just kept on giving

Ds2 was using bacterial wipes instead of toilet wipes RJnomore1. When I questioned the wisdom of this, he replied "well it does say for all surfaces"!

Hi all,

We're moving this over to classics now!

Thanks Lorna

Thank you so much Lorna

6demandingchildren that is hilarious, your poor mum 😄

Omg It make me feel better I did the same thing 10 years ago I feel your pain took three days to walk properly frozen peas said to cool the burn no under wear vaseline to protect skin

I was laughing so much at Edward Scissorfanny I phoned my Mum to read it to her.

I have a weird dislike to the way my pubes extend back and up the crack (I assume it is normal but googling pubic hair location is really not a good idea - trust me) even though I am quite fond of my aunt naturale front. I attempted to cold wax without trimming first and ended up sticking cheeks together. I can assure you that olive oil does the trick too, although there is unexpected stickiness for a few days...

LOL late

Au naturel, not aunt naturale. My goodness...