Random shite your parents tell you with utter conviction...

[CharleyDavidson]

but that you know is bollocks!

My Mum insists that anything that you can inherit genetically from your family always skips a generation.

My Mum's blood is negative. As is mine. She asserts that I must have inherited that from my Grandmother. And she must have inherited hers from her grandmother.

Bonkers. I know that genetic traits can skip generations, but not always and not with such predictability. But she won't have it.

Never wash on new years day or you'll wash one of the family away.

If you eat a piece of dry pasta it will keep expanding inside you and swell up so much it'll make you ill.
You can catch a chill in your kidneys if you go out in a short coat.
My son may have ADHD. He's young yet, it might just be immaturity so we're on a watch and wait and support strategy. My mum said "Of course, my Dad wouldn't have stood for any of that behaviour, he'd have stamped down on it hard."
I pointed out that if my son does indeed have ADHD no amount of coming down hard will change that, he'll only get distressed and his behaviour will probably get worse, what with not being able to help a lot of it.
She still feels very much that we need to be a lot firmer about his behaviour, whilst at the same time telling me that she thinks DH can be too harsh.
It's confusing, but she is mostly supportive!

When my first marriage was going pearshaped and exh was treating me badly, cruelly.

My lovely mum, whom I wish was still here

' I wish your dad was still here, he'd have given him a bloody good thump!'

But mam, he'd have been 80.

Doesn't matter, he'd have still have given him a bloody good thump! ( said with utter conviction)

I think exh would have taken it out of pity for him :-(

The superstition regarding the colour green as based on fact. Many years ago a chemist discovered that if he added arsenic to the the dyeing process it made a vibrant green. It was used in wallpaper and in fabrics. He didn't know that if the wallpaper and clothing became wet ot gave off a poisonous gas. It was used in Theatrical costumes, it really was a vibrant green and stood out on the stage, of course the actors sweated which made the arsenic leach into the skin. They became ill and many died. Even washing the clothing was dicing with death due to the poisonous fumes given off in the steam. Arsenic was discovered in Napoleon Bonaparte's hair after his death, arsenic was found to pres my in the walllpaper of his house.
The process was stopped in 1900 but the superstition surrounding the colour green continues.
I love the colour, it suits me so I wear it a lot.!

Apparently the red and white flowers thing has a real origin too thinking. It's a common superstition amongst nurses and originates from WWI when both nurses who'd been at the front and shell shocked soldiers found it triggered disturbing memories of 'blood and bandages' which is why those kinds of flowers are kept off wards and disliked by nurses.

Saor my friend was a paediatric SLT at Yorkhill about 15 years ago and said she had a patient named Pocohontas...wonder if it's the same girl?

several of my dh family members were 'back stairs babies' back in the late 19th fathers being lord of the house / landed gentry.
i inadvertently pissed on the fireworks doing family research on request of dh to clarify this found that the three dc concerned were born to long married parents and one never existed at all ! no titles there to be handed down

Just googled Pocahontas McGinty, and apparently it's an urban myth, started as a joke at the Edinburgh Festival.

My mam does the "don't put it on facebook thing" as well when telling me sensitive things e.g. birth announcements, information about someone's illness etc. I'm like I can't believe you would even think that I would do that?!

Once when we were little my parents booked us a trip to Disneyland. I had wanted to go for years and was so excited. Then they cancelled it and told us it was because we had been too naughty. I was absolutely gutted, cried for days and we never ended up going again. My parents have recently mentioned it and that the reason we didn't go was because my dad urgently needed to go abroad to visit a sick relative instead. They literally never told me until now and all that time as a kid I had thought I was an awful naughty child that had messed up my own chance of going to Disneyland!!

My parents are also obsessive about wrapping up to go out and adamant that whenever I have a cold type thing it's because of not wrapping up enough when I go out. Even though I am really quite the wrapper-upper after that upbringing! My dad is a medical doctor as well !

My dad also for a short period of type trained to be a homeopathy practitioner and kept giving me homeopathic remmedies being conviced it would cure me of my depression and anxiety. It obviously didn't as theyre basically just sugar but I took them to humour him and to prove they didn't work. Eventually he got bored with it all and stopped. And as I say he is a medical doctor . He also often insists that whatever dose of medication I'm on is "really high" even when it's not (through research online with reputable sources and discussions with my actual doctors). And in the past repeatedly told me I don't have depression so I don't need antidepressants. And that I don't have Asperger's Syndrome, and I don't have dyslexia, all of which I've been diagnosed with.

My mother likes to tell me that my sister can't possibly have a baby vaginally because her hips are too narrow. Unlike me

Afaik there's nothing wrong with dsis's pelvis or hips. Nor anything special about my --apparently massive- hips and pelvis.

How unkind of them re Disneyland Meadow.

Another one with a Facebook phobic mum! She seems to think information just "gets on Facebook" so she'll tell me something confidential (gossip) and then in a panic stricken voice say "don't let that get on Facebook, oh god.. do you think it'll get on Facebook?". NO MUM, Facebook doesn't hear our conversation then type it out verbatim. Well, not yet anyway.

My mum says that you can't get sunburnt after 4pm. Regardless of where you are in the world, the UV levels or the temperature.

that you cannot say the word 'pig' on a Friday and if you do, you have to stick your thumbs up to mitigate the impending doom.

Not my mum but my grandma, she believed all sorts of nonsense.

Like if you pulled off a skin tag yourself you'd bleed to death

She once came with me to the docs when I had one removed, I must have been 11 or 12. The fear she had, oh my goodness.

Anything my mum tells me that I disagree with, she says "oh but they have proved it". Who this 'they' is and how they have 'proved it' is never explained. But I can't argue with her apparently, because they have proved it.

Not my parents, but my Aunt believes anything she sees on Facebook has been sent to her personally from the person who posted it. She just doesn't get it.

Aunt: "Why does this person I don't know keep sending me photos of their cat?"
Me: "They're not sending them, they've just posted it for their friends to see and one of your friends has 'liked' it so you're seeing it"
Aunt: "My neighbour sent me a message about her new sofa, I don't care about her sofa"
Me: "She didn't just send it to you, all of her friends can see it, if you don't want to look at it then just ignore it"
Aunt: "Why am I getting messages from Nectar card? I don't even have a Nectar card"
Me: "It's just an advert"
Aunt: "Why is Mike from dog obedience asking me to sign a petition about endangered frogs? I hate frogs"
Me: "I don't know, Aunt. Maybe he hates you..."

It's tiring. She's only early 60s, it shouldn't be totally beyond her.

pizzaparty that is brilliant

My mum insists that when I was at university I was so ill with glandular fever that they had to drive to hall of residence and collect me and 'you were so ill on that journey, I remember you lying in the back of the car...'

This never happened. I had glandular fever once, but it was before I went to university; in fact it was the year before, during which I was working full-time. Nobody had to collect me from anywhere and I had a home visit from the GP so there were no car journeys involved.

I'm 40 and this happened - to me! - when I was 20. Despite this, she still insists that she remembers it better than me, even though she is 75 and she wasn't the one who was ill.

My family is actually quite sane in these respects, Its my Mil who is batshit crazy.

She told everyone she could that dp was having a breakdown because his hair went a bit lighter - Hes nearly 40! Its not gonna turn black overnight is it!

she also told everyone who would listen that ds has a calcium deficiency because he has nail wicks (those little weird bits of skin that need cutting off by your nails) all the kid eats is cheese and yoghurts.

She is full of random old wives tails and mostly we laugh at them!

Oh just remembered another one. As children we weren't allowed to drink today drinks when eating fruit with a stone particularly cherries (apparently it would make us really ill).!!!@

Me and my sister mentioned it recently and she denied all knowledge!!! Not sure how she's have coped if they'd had Cherry Cola in those days!!!

Oops ' allowed to drink fizzy drinks with fruits with a stone.'

My dad thinks that Brexit was needed to stop people knocking off work early on a friday to go play golf??? Im still confused. Does this really happen?

Here's a lovely picture of a meat dish encased in calfs foot jelly

My DD loved meat jelly when she was about 3 years old!