Random shite your parents tell you with utter conviction...

[CharleyDavidson]

but that you know is bollocks!

My Mum insists that anything that you can inherit genetically from your family always skips a generation.

My Mum's blood is negative. As is mine. She asserts that I must have inherited that from my Grandmother. And she must have inherited hers from her grandmother.

Bonkers. I know that genetic traits can skip generations, but not always and not with such predictability. But she won't have it.

I had a gold ring rubbed on a stye after which it did seem to heal - if it did help, I've always imagined it's more the action of gently rubbing it with something smooth and non-reactive

Montana I have a friend who used to live on a farm & had lots of mice coming in. She used humanely catch them & release them a couple of fields from the house.

One day she thought she recognised one of the mice so marked it with a blob of nail varnish on its head & released it in the usual place.

Three days later she caught the same one again

I didn't see this! Tagging only works if you check your mn email account :)

No such thing as it's too cold to snow, look at the poles! However the coldest weather in the uk is usually under high pressure, with little in the way of weather systems to produce snow.
The low humidity is also a factor too,

Maryhadalittlelambstew

Outing and nothing to do with the theme of the thread but I can top that.

I left home to go to a further education college for a useless HND.

The catering students were part of the canteen staff and the fayre was variable to say the least.

That didn't stop me buying pastries on a regular basis. They were fairly tough and a bit chewy but I persevered because they were cheaper than the local bakers I thought they were only learning and that they'd inprove the following year.

They didn't, but I carried on. They were students, needed to learn and the student canteen was cheap.

One day, I sat down with my snack gooey pastry and saw someone across the canteen doing the same.

He picked up the pastry and peeled the baking parchment off the bottom of the cake.

Yup. I'd been eating the fucking baking paper.

Carrots make your eyes more pretty.

Everytime you cry you get an extra dark circle around your eye. If you don't cry for a day you lose a circle as well. Don't cry to much otherwise you cannot cry after that for a very long time or you will be ugly.

Men don't like intelligent women.

Rich men only like slim women.

DM once lectured me about how farting often was very important to exercise the anus. We also had a heated argument about whether or not you urinate through the clitoris

She also got into all those books about how aliens from Atlantis built the Pyramids etc

She is into star signs and potential friends/partners were vetted by sign compatibility eg 'oooooh no you can't be friends with a Leo they're fire and you're water'. If we had an argument it was always because of me being a water sign

My bum hole must be very fit then, going by your mum's advice, OB!

Any sort of scab or rash - don't get water on that, it'll spread.

As a teen, I got impetigo. Despite this being confirmed by the GP, she told everyone, including my school friends, it was scabies.

And YY to the star signs. When I first got together with dh she looked at me with a head-tilt and said: 'a Leo and Virgo? You're wasting your time.'

On a sadder note, she's now realised that disability benefits aren't handed out to anybody with a bad back and aren't easy to get. I think going through the system was a real eye-opener for her, and she is now much more sympathetic - particularly as the condition she has was one that she had previously dismissed as 'one of those made up things'.

To lose weight, I need to cut out crisps and fizzy drinks, apparently. I don't drink fizzy drinks or eat crisps.

That walking barefoot will always give you a urinary tract infection.

From my DM:
You mustn't stand on a cold floor when you're having a period or eat very cold food (like ice cream).
If you overreach it can strain your womb.
Damp clothes cause rheumatism.
Crop tops and/or lack of vest will cause a chill on the kidneys.
If two bad things happen, breaking a match will prevent a third.

sashh, older DC would have been 18m at time your mum found out she was pregnant!

Actually maybe not. There was 26m between mine and oldest was 18m when I got my BFP

Granny's cure for baby choking or sneezing-blow in their face.

Mum told me the jets that leave the trails in the sky were to leave a guide for the big planes to follow to find their destination. I believed that for many years.

Skin tags form because you don't wash properly.

My BF baby didn't gain weight well because I didn't drink milk.

White shoes make your feet look big (yes, yes I had just come home with new shoes - it was the 80s)

The d in Enid is silent so you pronounce it Eeny Blyton. Similarly Ricky Gervay, Areeta Franklin and my personal favourite, Nor's Ark.

I am so dead if my mum sees this.

The D in Enid is silent!

Nor's Ark
How is the D in Enid silent if you pronounce it ?

It took my Dp 28 years to realise that his mother lied about 'ink poisoning' if you drew on yourself.

It took me 22 years and google to realise my mother wasn't a genius.
My Dp and I laugh because back when we lived with my mum, we'd debate a subject in our room, and I'd say "right let's settle this, il ask mum" ..."muuuum"
She'd call up the answer..and her word was gospel...now I realise that she's actually pretty thick and clueless lol!.

My mum now insists that any seeds and grains are "poison" and not fit for human consumption.

If your handwriting slants to the left, it means you're a horrible person. Guess which way my handwriting slants?

My mum is also terrified of Facebook, says it's dangerous. She had an account but got frightened when she was asked to "friend" people she might know. "How does it find out who I know?!" So she had my stepdad delete her account but now feels "left out".

Silence - are you my mum?

My DM used to sort through cupboards, and tell me stuff was mine that I didn't remember seeing before. She was so certain, I used to think I had a really bad memory; there was usually a back story like 'you wanted this desperately, then you never used it once we bought it for you.. '.
Once though, it was an old book that she found in a cupboard. The usual comments about how could I not remember it started...I opened it, and her maiden name was written in child-like writing in the front. I reckon most of it was actually her old clutter that I really hadn't seen before - but you just tend to believe your parents!

My mil said my DS would get scabies if he peed in the bath. Clearly doesn't know what scabies is and that pee is sterile. He was super tiny at the time as well...