Banged my head on a shop window.

[TheClaws]

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

Fintress I also lost a shoe getting into a train. Got my foot a bit caught in the gap, trainer came off as I pulled foot back out in a panic. Then I had to go one-shoed to find my husband, get him off the train and wait for the train to go, stand around with one shoe on while he fetched a member of staff to retrieve the shoe from the line, and wait red-faced for the next train.
But your story wins as you had such an appreciative audience!

Years ago, going out after work so wore a long, tight skirt to the office. Got the bus to work, stepped off when I got to my stop on the high street. Only needed to take a big step as bus was higher than the pavement. Tight skirt not designed for big steps so didn't manage to reach the pavement, fell off the bus and went flying across the pavement almost hitting the shop window opposite. Could hear the gasps from the bus and pedestrians as I gathered myself up and tried to look nonchalant.

When 6 months pg I went to a spa. There was a huge pit of beans bags so I got comfy and had a nap, woke up suddenly needing a wee to see that 2 more ladies had joined me and were staring at me in horror - pretty sure I had been snoring loudly.
That wasn't too bad but when I tried to get out I was completely stuck like a very fat turtle ( still really needing a wee). One of the ladies got out and pulled while another one got behind me and shoved, they were quite elderly and a bit frail so it wasn't working. Another lady went to get a member of staff, no idea what she said but 3 of them came running in a panic and said that the designated first aided was on their way too. The room we were in was a low light quiet room with comfy beds etc so they had to disturb everyone by turning the lights on etc so I had quite an audience.
Eventually they got me out ( still needing that wee) and one insisted on a taking me to the toilet while holding onto my arm, I could bloody walk fine just not climb out of a bean bag pit! For the rest of the day a member of staff followed me around at a safe distance

After being up since 5am with my son, I just got him off to sleep when I started reading this thread and promptly woke him up again from laughing! I haven't laughed this hard in ages!

I work for a large high end jewellery company (not pandora!) and we see this happy on a nearly daily basis! The worse, is when the customer is in the shop and they put their hands out to touch or point at something in the cabinets and wack their hands. Obviously, you can't Laugh but it's so hard not to!

8 months pg and went arse over tit outside Mothercare. Two little old ladies same ones as Hoppings? had to haul me off the floor as I was like an upside down tortoise.

On a skiing school trip we got diverted to a difficult run due to bad weather closing the chair lifts, everyone going down in stages to be safe, lining up when all together, i'm at the very back of the group, set off towards the line of schoolmates, ski over a patch of ice, fall on my arse heading straight for the line of people, knocked them all over like bowling skittles. Italian instructor not impressed.
Rushing in £shop to get to the pub, heel on stupid boot slips, i go skidding down the aisle on my front, shopping bags/handbag and basket flying everywhere. In front of a bunch of snooty looking teenage girls
At a friends hen do in Edinburgh at the fringe, come out of a show (sober) chatting to a friend, miss the step so fly into the crowd of people buying tickets/food. Feel ok so go about my day, ankle gets worse, carried to evening show by 2 girls from hen party, (people muttering about me being drunk, wasn't) sit down for show, guy in front stands up and his chairs closed in my injured ankle. Staff ended up calling paramedics to take me to a&e, carried throughout crowds in a wheelchair with everyone staring, ligament damage and ended up on crutches. That was fun to explain when i went to work!

I was on holiday in a very smart and elegant European location. I had popped into a hotel to ask directions and they had kindly given me a map.

I walked along the street reading my map and walked slap bang into one of those street bollard things - a sort of traffic stopping shortish pole (normally sort of hip height) in the middle of the street.

Trouble was that on the top of the bollard was a round metal ball. The round metal ball was on the exact level of my pubic bone. I have never felt pain like it. It made stubbing your toe look pleasant. I could barely stand up.

I still don't understand how I made such violent contact with it; I was just walking with a map not running like a cheetah.

Fortunately there were very few witnesses but of course they were all highly stylish.

This kind of thing but very much thinner and narrower.

www.geograph.org.uk/photo/1117088

PopeMortificado that bollard sounds made for the purposes of public mortification.

And all witnesses are always highly stylish or elderly; they are the job requirements.

I bang into things all the time - my spatial awareness is terrible.

So all the time I walk into walls as I've misjudged the corners or bang my leg on a display bar in a shop.

I've learned to style it out and keep on walking limping even though it REALLY hurts. I am covered in bruises.

Although the worst was trying to get through one of those anti-bike barriers when pregnant. It was narrow at the top and I couldn't fit my bump through. A queue developed behind me as I tried to work out how to get through it....

Haha, shouldn't have read this thread when DH was in same room in middle of very important work call

Stomping out of university lobby after a particularly rough seminar, I tried to nip into a revolving door compartment behind someone. I made it in, my rucksack didn't.

The twang of the floor to ceiling glass doors as they juddered to a halt was bloody deafening. Entire lobby and those on steps outside turned to see what was going on, everyone in the door compartments walked into the glass door in front of them. I was stuck, pinned by my shoulder blades and the straps of my rucksack to the door, absolutely fucking scarlet, saying "um, if everyone could just back up a bit?"

I've avoided revolving doors ever since.

One springs to mind, VERY early days of mine and DHs relationship, at uni, walking across the car park together staring lovingly at each other. So much so that I don't see the head height parking notice sign sticking out which I walk slap bang into with enough force to knock me straight back off my feet, comedy style. It hurt, I cried whilst trying to laugh it off at the same time! DH still reminds me!

Next one many years later, I'm 8 months pregnant with DD2 and the size of whale. A fact which I clearly forgot as I tried to squeeze through the middle of the very tightly packed garden furniture/ornaments area in TKMaxx, huge belly sends a giant concrete statue thing crashing to the floor which knocks over a vase thing on a plinth. The noise of the combined smashing of the items to smithereens on the floor was deafening and I had nowhere to go and I was trapped in the centre of the ornament maze! Everyone stared! I was mortified!

Quite a few years back my DH,our DD and I went out one summer evening with a couple of friends and their 2 children,to a pub. Me and the other mum went into the garden with the kids while the men went into the pub to get the drinks. In the pub garden,there were several of those wooden tables with bench seats attached. My friend sat down at one,just as her DH came out with their drinks,which he set down on the table. I then sat down on the same side of the table as her. Unfortunately,the table was one of those ones where the feet are not cemented into the ground,and the weight of both of us proved too much. The whole table tipped over,with me and my friend ending up on our backs on the floor,with a glass of orange juice and a pint of beer all over us,and the table on top of us. My DH came out of the pub at that moment and he and my friend's DH had to pull he table off us,while pissing themselves laughing. Thankfully,by some fluke,there was no one else in the garden at the time to witness the entertainment. From that day on,I have never sat at one of those tables on the same side as someone else unless the feet are fixed into the ground!

In a bar once, I opened my bag to pull out my purse and inadvertently pulled out a tampon which fell onto the bar in front of the barman and a group of men. Couldn't exit fast enough. That was in the 80' and I've only now had the nerve to mention it.

First pay packet as a 16 y old, bought myself a new pushbike. Took it out for a spin and had to wait at the lights at the railway crossing. I inched past all the traffic to the front of the queue.....and pedalled for gold when the barriers came up. Sadly the bike had not been assembled properly and suddenly the handlebars left the frame of the bike leaving me peddling whilst still holding the handlebars in thin air. As the bike rumbled over the train rail, my bucking bronco impression came apart and I was left strewn across the crossing, still in front of both lanes of traffic. No injuries apart from my severely hot cheeks and shame. Although reliving it I might also have got PTSD 😂😂

I smiled and waved at the cardboard cut out lady in the library, I didn't have my glasses on.

When I was a child I also did a walk straight into glass doors of a hotel .. ow

The sunglasses incident reminded me of around 20 years ago probably pissed when I used those tinted lenses that clip on top of prescription glasses ... everyone started laughing whilst I was trying to hold a serious conversation and didn't bother telling me for around half an hour that for some reason these had stayed over one eye but the other side was completely upright in the middle of my head ... I looked and felt a right prat!

l've banged my head a few times on jewellers windows! But my absolute piece de resistance was in June 2015. l had arranged to go to the Alexander McQueen exhibition at the V & A with a friend from twitter (who l had never met before).
Two hours after meeting him l lost my balance and fell backwards down an up escalator at Green Park tube station. lf the escalator had been packed, it wouldn't have been so bad. But it wasn't, and l Fosbury Flopped down about 6-7 stairs. l was helped up by three very nice gentlemen, and all l could think about was pulling my top down as it had ridden up as l fell.
We spent the next four hours in A & E at St Marys hospital in Paddington. l was black and blue from neck to ankle down my right side, had a huge lump on my thigh, and ruptured the AC joint in my shoulder.
l still went to the exhibition the next day, though....

Oh, I have so many. There are some dreadful ones that will out me, so here are two of my lesser fails.
First time meeting DH (then DP) family & we were staying at his Mum & Dad's house. Needing a poo, I headed to their bathroom and turned the shower on to full to mask any noise. I didn't realise that I hadn't tucked the shower curtain in properly until halfway through my huge and stinky poo - by which time, I had created a small paddling pool on their bathroom floor! Once, y'know, finished I went downstairs and explained that I hadn't tucked the shower curtain inside and if they could just direct me in the direction of mop or towels I would make all good again. No, ever the welcoming hosts DH's Mum AND Dad insist on sorting it out and off they BOTH head to the crime scene bathroom. Oh God, that's taken me right back.

My other one is the time DH and I had a bit of a barney in a hotel in Venice and I stormed out - straight in to a cupboard. I was so desperate not to lose face so I stayed in the cupboard, pissing about on my phone. After about 40mins, DH opened the door and said "Are you actually staying in there?"

One new year staying at the inlaws I'd had a few drinks and we had a big curry for tea- long story short at some point in the early hours I sharted ! ( we were sleeping in their bed) I then jumped out of bed and in my drunken daze forgot where I was and ran head first into their new mirrored wardrobes landing on my slightly poop covered back on the cream carpet - my dh wide awake and in absolute hysterics at this point helped me up and tried to take me to the bathroom - naturally upon opening the bedroom door to reach the bathroom came face to face with the rest of the family who I'd woken up

I was walking out of Lush and it had a little slope down to pavement. I managed to slip and one foot went forwards so I almost did the splits. I think I said 'Woah' as quite a few people on street turned around. I felt so embarrassed so felt the need to say loudly 'Well, that could have been impressive it didn't hurt so much'. Then hobbled off.

10 minutes later I had to hobble back past the shop entrance to find a mat had been put on slope to stop other people slipping. Wonderful, so the whole shop must have heard too

Not me but was with DH a few years ago choosing new bathroom porcelain. He insisted on trying out the loo we wanted, explaining that it needed to be the right height for him (6'4" and 16stone)...... he expressed satisfaction at which point a crunching ripping sound was the beginning of the entire thing coming away from the wall. Profuse apologies then quick exit as we headed to the next shop where we wanted to look at short baths (small bathroom) again DH insists on 'trying' out the bath to see if he fits. This time the bath is in the shop window (Central London)with nicely tiled surrounds. He climbs into the bath, sort of sits and then ping ping ping the tiles all round him start popping off the walls. I heard his shrieks, couldn't see him from inside the shop but could see, through the shop window, the growing crowds fascination and amusement on the pavement outside.
We did end up buying the bath and yes he did take his shoes off to get into the bath.

I crouched down to look at an ornament on a low shelf in a gift shop, really low, almost sitting on my too high for this particular move heels.

When I tried to stand up I sort of rolled backwards onto my bottom & then my back, knees in the air. No-one saw or laughed if they did

Love the giraffe attack