Banged my head on a shop window.

[TheClaws]

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

I managed to cycle at full pelt into a half barrier across a footpath. It was broad daylight, I'd cycled along there a million times before and the barrier was six inches thick and painted bright yellow.

There were quite a few people around to watch me hurtle into it and flounder in mid-air for a second before crumpling to the ground.

ImNotReallyReal - And they didn't try to blame YOU for the incident?! This reminded me of something that happened a few years ago in a Wilkinson's store. A woman walked past a display of table lamps and knocked one of them with her enormous handbag. It toppled and knocked the one next to it crashing to the floor,breaking into dozens of pieces. She just breezed off,leaving me and DD standing nearby,looking shocked. The security guard came hurrying over and started blaming us! He couldn't seem to believe that someone would do something like that then just walk off,so assumed it was us that had done it!

I've just remembered another awful moment - was at a conference a while ago, and at the wine reception afterwards I was talking to a guy I know, who is very painfully shy. He asked if I knew where the gents were and I thought he might be uncomfortable asking a stranger so I said "sorry, I don't but let me ask someone", walked up to a clump of male academics and asked in a ringing voice, "Do you know where the gents' loos are? I'm asking for a friend"

Which of course is what you say to imply you're not asking for a friend at all, so it looked like I'd just marched up to them and blared out a weird smutty joke that barely even made sense, then just froze and shuffled off again

A few years ago I was arranging my car insurance with a new company and had spoken several times over the phone with 'Christos' who had a lovely Greek accent. As it transpired his office was a two-minute walk from my office so he suggested I called in the following day to collect my policy.

I donned my slinkiest just-over-the-knee-cleavage-showing dress and a pair of shag me wedges and strolled down the street. As I found his office I went arse over tit on the pavement, busted both knees and nearly broke an ankle. Stumbled into the office bleeding and dazed and announced to a tiny bespectacled bald man I was looking for 'Christos'. Little 60-something year old man said 'I am Christos!'

FFS I still bear the scars from trying to impress a Danny DeVito lookalike

I work in a jewellery shop. Ppl do this on average six times a day! I guess we keep our glass really clean. Don't worry, we've seen it many times. Hope you are ok

Just remembered more when I was a teenager and running for school bus I ran through wet cement god knows how I ran past traffic cones that were there to protext cement I had to go home and change my shoes footprints still there to this day lol another myself and Dh on honeymoon decided to go scuba diving there were 2 other men going out with us so the men jumped into dinghy no bother I jumped in then went flat on my face from the weight of the scuba gear on my back the instructor was a very serious looking German kept asking was I ok couldn't stop laughing everything I looked at him.

Climbing through the window into a restaurant is making me howl!! It's just brilliant!

Away for a weekend with DH a few years ago. The hotel in which we were staying had evening entertainment so we were having a few drinks while watching it. I had a headache so decided to have an early night, DH said he'd be up in a bit after the show had finished.
When I woke later there was no sign of DH. Texted him, and while waiting for a reply discovered via Facebook that he was in the casino over the road, much to my annoyance. I was feeling a lot better after my nap so I got dressed and went to find him. Couldn't see him so I ordered a drink and texted him to let him know where I was sitting. By the time he eventually joined me I was furious with him for going out instead of coming to bed, being there so late, being in a poker game, etc. I had just finished giving him a piece of my mind, was ready to leave storm off in a huff and slammed my drink down on what I thought was a table, it turned out to be a flip lid bin, which nearly swallowed my drink! At this point I realised there was a waitress standing at my side who, with a straight face and perfect comedy timing, asked politely if I'd like another drink!

*Neatly not nearly

I have done the jewellery window headbutt.

I also walked into the school office to pay for 'something'. Promptly forgot what the hell I was paying for and ended up playing some warped version of 20 questions with the new receptionist who was looking at me like 'should you be out by yourself'.

Once we established I wanted to pay for the school pantomime I then completely forgot my children's years and classes and muddled their names.

Luckily she was a temp and I haven't seen her since

D's did this the other day the glass shook we squealed he was not concerned

Pretty sure he gets it off me though I was running down a street in London and ran full pelt into the side of a car

I've also crouched down on the bus and gone flying backwards when it drove off I ended up slap on my arse in the gangway

I once went up in a lift, got to the floor I wanted and the door didn't open. It went back down to ground floor, irritated I pressed the button again. Exactly the same happened.

On the third trip I happened to look over my shoulder and realise it was one of those lifts where the opposite doors open to let you out. By the time I realised, I was on my way back down. I had clocked a waiting room full of people staring at me

So I took my jacket off and walked up the stairs....

Many years ago I was out shopping. It was a lovely sunny day and I was wearing a long summer dress. For whatever reason I had decided to not wear any pants (in my twenties I liked to be daring and cheeky - these days I prefer warmth & security ). All of a sudden the heavens just opened so I ran full pelt to the nearest shop (Woolworths). Unfortunately a polished floor and wet sandals are not compatible and I went arse over tit. I slid like a torpedo for what seemed like a mile until my momentum was stopped by the Easter egg display. Unfortunately as I slid my dress was hoiked up over my waist. So there I lay on the floor, head & shoulders buried by Cadbury's finest with my bare arse displayed for all to see!!! Quite a few people came to help me up. I have never ever since ran from the rain - I'll just get soaked thank-you

Ricks am proper crying at that!!

Nearly having an asthma attack I'm laughing so much!!!

When I was around 18 I went on a date with a really cute guy. Sat in the pub and ordered a drink, can't remember what it was, but I was offered a cherry on a stick to go in it and I said yes. (This was in the 80's!!) Trying to appear sophisticated and alluring, I pulled the cherry out of the drink and tried to remove it seductively from the stick. He was captivated by my performance but when I bit into it, some of the juice went down the wrong hole and I ended up coughing, spluttering and snotting everywhere. The pub went silent as I went puce with embarrassment. Didn't see him again.........

Ricksheadtilt that's an impressive image!

Mistletoetastic I'm very pleased, and proud, I can add the achievement of 'made someone fart on the train' to my CV. Thank you!

Remembered another one - when heavily pregnant and at a wedding. I was strolling around tables, had been to the loo, you know - socialising. Until an old lady took me aside and whispered, 'Your dress is in your dacks.' And it was too, quite firmly wedged in my panties, for gosh knows how long

My local Asda changed the direction of the travelators to go to the next floor around for some reason, so I go rushing in one morning as I have done many times, go straight onto the travelator on the left that usually goes up....well you can guess what happened next...yes...I end of toppling off the bottom when it quickly brings me back down after 2 steps! Right by the self service tills where there was a queue of people watching and laughing

Oh, and I face-planted the pavement - for no discernible reason - right next to DS1's school bus.

I went for an eye test, was still fidgeting on the chair trying to get settled when the lady moved the big glasses thing towards me and said 'Just put your forehead there' just as I leaned forward to get comfortable and I ended up bashing my face on the place where I was meant to be resting gently.

They must have thought I had eyesight like Mr. Magoo (I didn't).

Another. I seem to have a bottomless pit of embarrassments . Now I have teenagers, though, I couldn't care less, if fact I go out of my way to be embarrassing in public when with them .

Anyway, on a street standing in front of a shiny office window. It was a hot windy day, so I needed a few adjustments. The window was a reflective sort, so I used that to smooth out my hair, make my bra straps and boob fit more comfy (you know how you do that wiggle kind of thing?), resit my waistband, have a bit of a scratch, and make a few stupid faces. My DH then pointed out I was doing this in full view of a busy bank - the entrance was a couple of metres away and the window was actually one-way. I had to scurry past the entrance hiding my face but I'm sure I heard sniggers

I have to read this later so place-marking. I thought the OP's was bad, and then I loved that the second post topped it! tick but, more embarrassing when it's cakes!

One of mine was when I was laughing to vivaciously at the humour of a man I was in to (he probably wasn't even being that funny) and a bubble of snot came out of my nose. Years later when he sees me he still MIMES a bubble of snot coming out of his nose then points laughs and smacks his thigh like he'll never forget that one. So I can't

Too many to mention but worst was sleeping walking naked outside my house at 7am on a lovely summer morning. We lived in a small cul de sac. I also did it on holiday and my husband found me wandering the corridors of the hotel buck naked. Another time I was getting on a train at a really busy station which was full of football fans going to a major cup final. As I stepped onto the train my shoe fell off straight onto the railway line. Cue loud football type chants of 'lost your shoe, lost your shoe'. They had to move the train to recover it.

There is a bigger one but that might out me.

When I was about ten I was touring the V&A museum with my grandparents, looking at some beautiful antique jewelry collection they had on display. Totally misjudged where the glass was, smashed my head into it and set off alarms throughout the entire museum. My poor grandparents had to spend half an hour convincing them that I genuinely wasn't trying to steal the necklaces whilst I slowly died of embarrassment in the corner!