Banged my head on a shop window.

[TheClaws]

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

I'm always doing things like this though.

The other day I was in a public toilet and got so caught up trying to negotiate my spanx and tights that I waltzed out with my dress still hitched up around my waist Luckily I spotted myself in a full-length mirror and hastily tugged it down before too many people saw

Lost my balance when the tube stopped and pretty much flew across the carriage, mostly landing on some poor guy's lap before sliding down onto the floor very dazed. My side from hip down to calf was black for ages too so I could barely stand up or hobble out. Still mortified thinking about it.

Who was the MNer who, waiting at a bus stop, leaned against a plate glass window outside Tesco Express in order to stop her floaty dress blowing upwards in the breeze? She was holding a shopping bag in each hand so couldn't grab her floaty skirt and thought she could trap the back of her skirt against the window whilst holding her bags against the front of her skirt. But she hadn't realised that the back of her dress had already blown upwards before she leaned against the window - treating a queue of people, waiting to pay, to the sight of her bum squashed against the window.

Oh god this is literally my whole life! I've done the 'from the depths of hell' belch before as well, but mine was so loud that a bouncer from a pub over the road from me looked up and asked 'was that you?' He seemed slightly impressed...

I've also discovered the trick is not to try and style it out like you're unhurt but to act like it hurt much more than it did. People laugh if they think it's minor, but if you seem hurt or dazed, then IME they come and try to help you. I once fell over flat going up a kerb and landed with such a loud bang that a man came over to help me even though I was with DH.

I have only read the first few posts but at

I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised

brilliant thread and very much needed round here

Hilarious!

I was out with work colleagues at a leaving do at the Albanach in Trafalgar Square, London. Slightly tipsy, but not too drunk, I went to the loo and may have pulled the opaque glass cubicle door a little hard. As it slammed into place the entire door (safety glass) shattered into little pieces leaving me slightly crouched and holding a solitary metal handle surrounded by glass fragments and an exposed toilet.

I got out of there as quickly as possible (no one else was in there) and scuttled back to the table - still desperate for a wee - so that someone else could discover the carnage!

Okay this is not a physical injury one and I have told it before, but......

When I was heavily pg, DH and I went to the cinema to see Django. I desperately needed a wee but tried to hold it - then realised I couldn't. At the climactic final scene, I just got up and scooted out of my seat, down the central aisle, to duck out and find the loos. I tried to bend over a bit so I wouldn't obscure people's views.

Only, the exit to the loos was not at the front. It was off to one side. I only realised this when I had gone ALL THE WAY DOWN the central aisle and found myself confronting the giant screen, and then had to turn around and duck back to the real exit.

It was like some type of nightmare. What the other cinema-goers saw was, a woman with a giant belly running hunched over like some type of ungainly ape, scuttle to the front of the cinema, see the screen, rear up in horror blocking everyone's view, and dash back through the dark to the exit.

I still get all hot thinking about it.

Apple stores and their stupid glass fronts -the number of near misses I've had with those isn't even funny...

I've done the bumping into windows thing too, looking at pretty jewellery :)

johnny oh god I'm crying!!!

I love these threads and am another one who could fill it all by themselves

I had a recent accident that resulted in me being stretchered into a packed A and E in just spotted pyjama bottoms and one sock (in the middle of the day ) but the memory is still too traumatic for me to be able to mock myself yet

I will tell you that the very first time DH (then just BF) and I danced together (and I really wanted to impress him) I knocked myself unconscious

On one of our very first dates I strode through the restaurant glass door entrance to meet him inside and thought vaguely that it was odd I then had to make my way over a fairly tall display of plants. I had in fact just entered the restaurant through the window

He obviously loves me very much

I walked straight into the glass door at Pandora too and bounced backwards into the street. It hurt. I then limped into the shop trying to look unruffled while the staff tried to pretend they were not nearly weeping with laughter.

Pandora clearly need to sort their shops layout out!

"Danced together" was not a euphemism btw.

Just clarifying. In case.

I'm less than five feet tall. I routinely bop myself in the face with shopping baskets pulling one off the top of a (not very) high pile.

I have clunked into glass trying to see things at the back of a window display.

I have bowed. Walking past a young couple trying to open a bottle of fizzy pop which exploded and showered me. They clapped and I bowed.

If there's no blood visible, then the trick is to try and style it out and pretend everything's fine.

Always carry tissues just in case there is blood.....

thought vaguely that it was odd I then had to make my way over a fairly tall display of plants. I had in fact just entered the restaurant through the window

^^I have a cough and just did a proper Muttley laugh at this

I walked into a mirror in a nightclub once, and hurt my wrist, trying to greet myself as I saw my reflection and thought "She looks a bit familiar but I can't quite work out who she is. I'd best say hello so she doesn't think I've blanked her". Luckily it was at the bottom of a few steps and I was in really high heels so it just looked like I'd tripped over the step.

Not me but my DH. We were just getting up after watching a film with half a bucket of popcorn left and DH managed to accidentally tip it all over the guys head in front who was still sat down. All in his hair down his top. DH just stood there mortified continuously apologising. The guy took it like a trooper laughed shook him myself off and said don't worry about it.

I can't tell you how happy you've all made me

Oh God, I've just remembered one of mine.

In the swimming pool there is a locker with quite a stiff door. It was one of the only free ones so I steadied myself on the adjacent locker with my left hand and wrenched open the door with my right.

Only of course it wasn't that locker, it was one with a perfectly normal door, so it flew open like it'd been blown up, I rocketed back to stop it taking my nose off, and it ricocheted all the way around and walloped the back of my left hand. I bellowed like a buffalo and hopped around clutching my hand between my thighs, then looked up to see thirty or so families all watching me in silence, and walked out to the pool muttering to myself.

Because of the layout of the changing rooms they'd all seen me squaring up to this locker, planting my feet like a wrestler and resting against it, just to open a very small very ordinary door. They all just sat there politely watching the whole performance in silent confusion

Just remembered one of my mum's. We were on holiday in Eastern Finland and mum decided to visit a public smoke sauna. She went in to the changing room, undressed, and walked into the sauna naked as is usually done in saunas in Finland except this sauna happened to be a unisex one so people were required to wrap towels around themselves or wear a swimming costume, but mum just walked in starkers in front of a big sauna full of people

Sitting at desk right now trying to contain my laughter and crying slightly. It is lunch time but still.

My own:

At the gym. On a treadmill. Headphones on. Totally in the zone. Tripped and fell. If this happens to you, do nothing, the treadmill will just spit you out the back. Don't do what I did and try to get up and keep running, stumbling on your knees several times until the guy on the next machine stops running to sort me out. The running track of the treadmill had a gritty surface so it was like kneeling on a belt sander. I tried to continue with the workout(!?) before realizing I had blood streaming down my legs. It took weeks to heal and longer for me to go back to the gym.

crying with laughter!

Years and years ago when i was 15, I was in Spain on an exchange trip! We were in a shop that was in a split level it had a quite wide spiral staircase in the middle of the shop, I mis-stepped and fell down the stairs in quite a dramatic manor I looked up to find several ladies trying to help me up all speaking Spanish which I did not understand! I was very embarrassed!!

I must look deranged. I'm sitting in the car outside school waiting for the kids in tears. I haven't belly laughed like this in so long. Thank you all so much

I laughed out loud and accidently farted on a train reading about entering restaurant via window! perfumeandcatabdbooks!