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Original poster

AIBU to ask you all for your most PFB moments?

295 replies

user1477282676 · 02/12/2016 10:17

I just fancy a laugh and there's a lot of traffic here. So...mine is that on DD1's first birthday, I made the entire room sing Happy Birthday to her in a WHISPER so that she wouldn't be scared by all the loud singing. Blush

And they all did it too! Grin Bless them.

Now you!

OP posts:
TheQueenSnortsAvocados · 02/12/2016 23:13

The couple opposite me on the post-natal ward were my favourite. Every time they wanted to pick up baby they would bend over the crib until chest-to-chest, ever so carefully scoop baby so that he was cradled from beneath by both arms, and slooooowly move to standing position. Repeat in reverse for putting down.

I had a ten-pounder, and am the oldest grandchild in a large family, which meant my daughter got swung about like a sack of coal from day one. Plus my laziness swiftly trumped any of my own pfb tendencies!

RumAppleGinger · 02/12/2016 23:21

I asked DH with a straight face how we were going to transport DS1 up and down the stairs because obviously we couldn't just carry his precious little arse in case we tripped, slipped and fell down the stairs. Genuinely suggested securing him in his car seat for every ascent. God I'm such a twat

Myusernameisalreadyinuse · 02/12/2016 23:29

I had read that as a general rule when you go out your child should be wearing 1 more later than you.
Got ready to take 6 week old Pfb out in her pram and noticed that we were both wearing THE SAME AMOUNT OF LAYERS !!!!!!
As she seemed wrapped up enough already I did the only reasonable thing and removed my coat before going out.

That is brilliant. Not many posts on mn make me laugh but this certainly did! GrinGrin

I genuinely don't think I've done anything pfb. Maybe I'm neglectful. She's two and hasn't had McDonald's, but I don't eat it. I can't stand it. And there isn't one near me. I wouldn't stop her from going if the situation arose but I wouldn't go out of my way to take her.

RhodaBorrocks · 02/12/2016 23:30

For the first few weeks I sat in the back of the car for every journey because DS cried whenever we weren't moving (ASD baby!) and I didn't want him to cry when he couldn't see me.

By 6 weeks I was back in the front passenger seat, laughing at his constant grumbling in traffic jams.

mammyoftwo · 02/12/2016 23:36

I didn't return to passenger seat until pfb was 18 months old Blush

HerRoyalFattyness · 02/12/2016 23:38

When DS1 was born, i lived with my mum (I was 17)
When he was 3 weeks old I allowed her to take him in his buggy to the school to collect my brother without me! The school was 3 minutes away from our house. I stood at the window watching and waiting for her to get back. Confused
She laughed at me and reminded me that she had 4 children of her own, and she did the school run twice a day, she wasn't going to get lost or lose my baby Grin

HOHOHOvariesBeforeBrovaries · 02/12/2016 23:38

I sat in the back of the car with her car seat until she was 15 months old and we switched her to forward-facing Blush didn't want her to get lonely.

Oh and it took us three weeks to figure out that we could put her down. We took it in turns to sleep, we didn't sleep at the same time for the first three weeks of her life. We just sat on the sofa, holding her, because we didn't realise you were allowed to not have them in your arms all the time Blush

mammyoftwo · 02/12/2016 23:41

alabastard how did u warm the babywipes?!
Genuinely interested, may use your technique!

AradiasDaughter · 02/12/2016 23:44

Mammy stick the wipes in your bra.
I also used to warm wipes for my off Blush

ItchyFoot · 02/12/2016 23:44

Gazing lovingly out the window at dd1 trying to feed a leaf to my little sister's guinea pig. The pig was not interested and I didn't want dd to be sad or discouraged so suddenly blurted out "Take it then you little bastard!" Blush
My mum and dp fell about laughing and have never let me live it down!

AradiasDaughter · 02/12/2016 23:45

*pfb not off

purplemunkey · 03/12/2016 00:02

Funny thread, and there was me being all smug thinking 'I didn't do any of these!' until the recent passenger seat comments. I still sit in the back with DD, 2yrs Blush. Think I might be returning to passenger seat from tomorrow Grin

MsDinosaur · 03/12/2016 00:16

These are hilarious.

I'm sure I've done many PFB things. My DC is over 2 and one of us still sits in the back if two parents are in the car...... not normal?!

AlwaysWashing · 03/12/2016 00:21

I found the alphabetical fruit and veg weaning list I wrote when my pfb was getting ready for weaning. It has every single one ticked off and the date it was offered. Also each one has a smiley or sad face denoting whether he liked or disliked it.
DS2 pretty much ate what we ate from the get go!

stroan · 03/12/2016 00:42

DF was born with a full head of hair which everyone told me would fall out. this annoyed me greatly and I genuinely worried that I'd end up with a bald baby.

When she started rubbing her head on her crib while asleep, I bought a piece of satin and sewed it to her sheet so that the rubbing wouldn't cause a bald patch. She still got a bald patch.

When her hair started to fall out at 5 months, I called my husband from Starbucks in tears. I then banned anyone from touching her hair and wouldn't let DH rub it dry with a towel in case more fell out.

WouldRatherHaveCake · 03/12/2016 00:45

With DS1 I also used to stick the wipes in my bra to warm them.
I sobbed when my DS used eyeliner to draw eyebrows on him
I had a mini Milton dummy steriliser that went everywhere with me, and I had actually bought Milton wipes to use on the cats feet every time he came in the house.

DS2 regularly eats questionable items such as cat food but I reckon it boosts the immune system Blush

Oh and to the person about the perfume - I absolutely cannot cope with either child smelling of someone else's perfume. I time baths to be after MIL or FIL (divorced) have visited and I'm not adverse to changing them or giving a quick wet wipe wash....

Alabastard · 03/12/2016 12:08

mammy I bought a baby wipe warmer from Amazon Blush

ArmySal · 03/12/2016 12:31

"Take it then you little bastard!" GrinGrin

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/12/2016 12:45

When DD was about 7 months old, we'd just come back from the US where we'd been for 3 months for DH's work, despite it being winter there we were in the hotter parts so it was always t-shirt weather.

When we returned it was January. We took DD to the doctors...because she shivered Blush rather than thinking "it's probably because it's January and we've just come back from a hot climate" we were convinced she had a small aneurysm.

The GP was very diplomatic and said that it's natural to worry but she was fine and just a bit chilly. Frankly looking back he should have told us to piss off and stop wasting his precious time. Sorry if you were that GP! We were dicks and we know it now Grin

AllBellyandBoobs · 03/12/2016 12:54

I remember carrying a baby bath full of water from the chilly north facing bathroom to the warm south facing bedroom of our old victorian house because pfb would surely end up with pneumonia if we bathed her in the bathroom 😂

Cellardoor23 · 03/12/2016 13:11

Iv done the layers thing too Blush Glad I'm not the only one then!

I used to be scared to go to sleep when DS was asleep in case something happened. So I used to sit in the livingroom with the lights off and him in his carrycot, just sitting there at all hours of the morning keeping an eye on him.

My DP was on leave as well so when he woke up, I would have a couple of hours sleep. I don't know why I just didn't sleep when he slept, I read too much on the internet about sids and got myself paranoid!

SausageSoda · 03/12/2016 13:12

Some of these are utterly bonkers. Great stuff Grin

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/12/2016 13:23

I'm due no 2 in 6 weeks and i remember daft things I did with DD that I'm pretty sure I won't do this time round. For example when DD was a newborn and I wanted to shower I'd bring her Moses basket and stand and put it over the threshold of the bathroom door (but never in the bathroom in case she got too hot) so I could watch her while I showered. It never occurred to me that she was a few weeks old, slept for 19 hours a day, couldn't roll over or climb and therefore would be perfectly fine if I just left her in the bedroom in the basket. Is this normal?

Cellardoor23 · 03/12/2016 13:28

Cherry I did that too! Now if he's awake and I need a shower, I just put him in his jumperoo or cot and leave him to it.

Marmalade85 · 03/12/2016 13:34

These are all completely mad. I never suffered from PFB but know some mums who have. One didn't leave her house for a month after PFB was born even though she had her DP and both parents living with her and when she was concerned PFB was ill she was too scared to take him to the doctors in case he caught something even worse in the waiting room. The baby is also only allowed to nap in his cot.

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