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Original poster

AIBU to ask you all for your most PFB moments?

295 replies

user1477282676 · 02/12/2016 10:17

I just fancy a laugh and there's a lot of traffic here. So...mine is that on DD1's first birthday, I made the entire room sing Happy Birthday to her in a WHISPER so that she wouldn't be scared by all the loud singing. Blush

And they all did it too! Grin Bless them.

Now you!

OP posts:
Candlelight123 · 02/12/2016 20:08

My mum put the fear of God into me about cats smothering babies and that it was practically a cat's sole aim in life to smother little babies. I stressed so much about this, then after about 3 weeks realised the cat couldn't actually stand my pfb due to all the crying, and had banished himself voluntarily to the back garden for 6 months. Same happened with number 2.

HeyRoly · 02/12/2016 20:27

You know, for all the mistakes I made with DC1, I'm really not sure I was even half as precious and utterly batshit as some of these posts.

I feel mediocre in the best possible way.

littleme2016 · 02/12/2016 20:39

Not me but my brother and his wife spent hours trying their DS on many different foods- curries, chillies, pastas, raisins. No sweets.Got rid of their pets etc.

They skipped that with their DD born a year and a half later...she has been raised on chicken nuggets, chips and cake, and they have since got a dog.

girlelephant · 02/12/2016 20:51

I did what a PP said about not walking down the stairs in my house with DS unless DH was walking ahead incase I tripped....: however that was only when DH finished his paternity leave! Until then I asked DH to carry him up and down the stairs as I was too scared

Alabastard · 02/12/2016 20:59

I used to warm the baby wipes before wiping her precious bum.

LostMyBigGirlPants · 02/12/2016 21:04

It's really interesting seeing how many mums get panicky over PFB and then chill out with their second child - is this why I'm a whinging fusspot while my younger sister doesn't give a flying fuck about anything?!

(I once refused to let my mum hold DS on the grounds that she'd just drunk black coffee and the smell might upset him - WTAF? She likes to remind me of this whenever I drink black coffee at her place )

Littlecaf · 02/12/2016 21:16

We warmed the Moses basket with a hot water bottle before putting him in it.

I have a friend who still won't give her DD a duvet as she thinks it will smother her (DD is 3).

multivac · 02/12/2016 21:21

I had read that as a general rule when you go out your child should be wearing 1 more later than you. Got ready to take 6 week old Pfb out in her pram and noticed that we were both wearing THE SAME AMOUNT OF LAYERS !!!!!! As she seemed wrapped up enough already I did the only reasonable thing and removed my coat before going out.

This is one of my favouritest things ever; totally sums up what it's like in that fourth trimester madness (when it seems like the rest of the world is insane).

shrunkenhead · 02/12/2016 21:33

For some reason thought I could only change her nappy on the changing station UPSTAIRS in her nursery... I felt like I spent my days walking up and down up and down the stairs! It never occurred to me to change her on a mat downstairs!

fishybits · 02/12/2016 21:35

If you'd asked me a month ago I would have said the time I insisted DH brought our microwave to the hotel so DD had the exact same temperature milk........ However, I think I've surpassed myself, about a month ago whilst sitting in front of Milkshake for the first time one morning, I realised that we'd managed to get her to almost 5 without her seeing a single children's advert Xmas Blush

Goandplay · 02/12/2016 21:39

I went in to check on my PFB while he was sleep, an hour or so after putting him down and he had this huge open weeping wound on his face :( I came out and told my sister and her boyfriend, went back had another look, had a feel of it at the edge but he moved (obviously because it hurt) so I came out and said I am going to have to take him to hospital. My sister went to look, came out similar. He boyfriend said could he look... He came out holding the 'wound' which was now just a bogey Blush!

blinkineckmum · 02/12/2016 21:42

I was so laid back with my pfb but when my second was born last year I wrote a note to my neighbours asking them to turn off their flashing Christmas lights in the evening as they were keeping us all awake...

Mypurplecaravan · 02/12/2016 21:44

Hopping that is brilliant. Were you chilly without your coat?

RudeAlf · 02/12/2016 21:45

I was outraged that the shop was selling shorts in 9-12 months in the summer as that would mean PFB wearing shorts in the middle of winter!

Because y'know, there were no other babies on the planet

littlesallyracket · 02/12/2016 21:52

I don't have kids but a friend of mine was properly arsey with me when she handed me her first baby to cuddle and then, when I handed him back, she could apparently detect a faint whiff of my perfume on his clothes. I'm still not sure why it was a problem. I know people like the 'baby smell' and all that but it's not like a hint of a pretty light and innocuous perfume on a babygro he would almost certainly be puking on was going to ruin him forever.

She is usually lovely so I think she was just overwhelmed and stressed to bits so soon after becoming a mum, which is totally understandable.

LondonStill83 · 02/12/2016 22:05

I have an eleven week old DS who was born by EMCS six weeks early at 4lb, and spent 11 days in NICU...

So far, I have:

Cried so much worrying about SIDS that I made DH by the same sleep apnea monitor they use on NICU

Bought and sold a cocoonababy. The former to help DS sleep as obviously just any old bed wouldn't do, and the latter because I read sleep positioners can be dangerous and cause suffocation / SIDS. Then later bought a sleepyhead because DS looked so small when he napped...

Ordered TWELVE moisture catchers and a de-humidifier to rid our flat of any possible damp due to clothes drying indoors in the winter (the actual damp problem was fixed properly last year but naturally CERTAIN DEATH would occur due to magical new damp springing up despite no signs whatsoever of this happening)

Buying a cat net. Then deciding the cat would DEFINITELY jump on and get tangled in the net, either strangling or suffocating DS in the process. Promptly selling the net and ushering poor cat out of whatever room DS is in at any time.

All completely reasonable, of course!

bumblingmum · 02/12/2016 22:24

These are brilliant. I really like the one about removing a layer of clothes.
I refused to let DD1 eat sugar for her first year, even her birthday cake for 1st birthday was sugar free (and tasted awful tbh).
She didn't have sweets until she was 3. There was a lot of food paranoi. She didn't taste McDonalds until she was 7.
Now cake, sugar, sweets, chocolate are everyday snacks.
I'm sure I did loads more mental stuff but can't remember as it was 8 years ago.

MommaGee · 02/12/2016 22:44

Wow, this is all making me feel like a normal we'll adjusted mom compared to all you crazy lot!!

No one but me and DH held DS until he was 10 weeks but he'd been in hospital from birth however I'm sure they could have held him earlier realistically as we were on general paeds by then.

Crunchymum · 02/12/2016 22:48

Kept a diary or every feed / meal and poo from day 3 to 1 year...

I actually still keep a log of poo's as DC has chronic constipation. He is now 4

Yes I have logged pun intended every shit from day 3 onwards....

Sweets101 · 02/12/2016 22:52

I set my alarm to go off every hour through out the night to... Look(?) at DD2. Fuck knows what I was thinking. I did think it was perfectly reasonable nay, sensible, at the time. To the extent I told the MW who did this Shock Confused

AradiasDaughter · 02/12/2016 22:54

Mines quite "outing" went to my nephews party with my 10 weeks old baby girl and he was feeling a bit under the weather.
Next day SIL texts me saying "I'm really sorry but nephew has Foot & Mouth disease".
I googled this and convinced myself my daughter was going to get mad cow disease and die or at the very least become brain damaged.
I was also furious because the nursery he went to were letting kids with (what I thought was) mad cows disease still go.
Turns out it wasn't mad cows disease after all and was in fact HFM.
She still got it and it was still shit but there's no lasting effects or brain damage Wink

WeedlesHatOfDisappointment · 02/12/2016 22:57

We had what me and my mil affectionately refer to as sleeping bag gate.
Ds was about 3 months old, and we went to stay with the in laws for a weekend. Went to put ds to bed the first night after arriving late, and discovered we'd forgotten his sleeping bags.
DH had the audacity to say it would be fine. I was almost sobbing, and in the end after me begging, he and fil went out at 11pm to go the 24 hour asda to purchase a new sleeping bag.
Looking back, I realise he would have been fine, but at the time it seemed the end of the world...

Sweets101 · 02/12/2016 22:59

I had read that as a general rule when you go out your child should be wearing 1 more later than you. Got ready to take 6 week old Pfb out in her pram and noticed that we were both wearing THE SAME AMOUNT OF LAYERS !!!!!! As she seemed wrapped up enough already I did the only reasonable thing and removed my coat before going out.

Too funny!!

mammyoftwo · 02/12/2016 23:04

Oh, this is good, def one for mn classics!

OohhThatsMe · 02/12/2016 23:11

I knew my baby was a PFB - I knew I was a nutcase. My lovely SIL had a baby around the same time and denied she treated her baby like this, until we were in a pub garden and she suddenly yelled, "Fuck off! Get away from my baby!" to a wasp that was idling nearby.