I hate having kids

[Throughautomaticdoors]

I love them but I hate being a parent. It's dull, it's relentless, it's worrying, it's thankless, it's demanding, it's monotonous, it's exhausting.
I'd throw myself under a bus for them but being a parent has made me totally and utterly miserable. My first one didn't sleep through until he was 4 and a half and the second one is also a terrible sleeper. I'm starting to think it's something I've caused as everyone else I know has had at least one good sleeper.
I can't wait for them to grow up.

I don't understand why it shouldn't go in classics.

Because it's a great thread Floggingmolly and so many people wanted it in classics that lovely MNHQ moved it over.

It's only a question from molly, no ones saying it shouldn't be, she was probably just confused aslr how it got in there so quick. Like saints, threads usually have to be dead before they are beatified!

Oh don't be so ridiculous, woowoo. Uncensored views, really! I just thought Classics was something else entirely, my mistake maybe

Can't understand why it wouldn't be in classic either. I suppose it's not entertaining like penis beaker but it's helpful as hell. No one here wants to harm a child and everyone (except me I've realised but honestly I would die for my kids) has largely said they adore their kids, they just struggle. When you're that mum in real life it's so damn refreshing to find out others feel the same, even if it's just online.

I got to the school gates and other parents were going on about how good their holidays were. I felt like yes, we had wonderful times and actually I was surprised how little I wanted to run away given normal life but thank god school has started. I did not feel safe saying that in real life

What did you think Classics is?

Entertaining stories. Somewhere to browse if you want a laugh? Obviously I got it wrong, but I thought the whole premise was to preserve riotously funny threads so that they didn't disappear from Chat.
I would have assumed this would have been transferred to Parenting or Relationships. I obviously got it wrong...

No, I don't think they need to be funny..

Yes, you got it wrong, but never mind, worse things and all that

Ok

Just had a gander and I'd say Mumsnet Classics is 95% lighthearted - actually funny or trivia.

I quite understand the wish to keep the thread (although it is completely inaccurate and false to say there are no other threads where people share their negative thoughts and feelings about being a parent on Mumsnet - I have contributed to and read literally hundreds of them over the years) but it could be saved where other unhappy parents are more likely to seek it out. Most Mumsnetters, surely, think Classics is for the legendary funny threads even if Penis Beaker somehow found its way on there .

Classics is for threads that posters want to keep and that HQ agree should be kept.
Like this one.

Ok then KatieScarlett. I will remember that next time I want to keep a thread.

Infact all threads except those in chat and 30 days only and all the ones about Moldies are kept on Mumsnet forever ... quite extraordinary!

Isn't it though?

Mol that was my gap same as your SIL, dd2 born a few days after dd1 started school and it was lovely having time to enjoy dd2. But l had a fantastic CM who collected dd1 and dropped her off after school until the new year.

Tbh l wonder with small gaps how you get to spend any 1-2-1 time with either child as l just couldn't juggle like that!

My 2 are 21 months apart and no family close by. I joined a gym and most days would take them to the creche for 1-2 hours and go and sit in the jacuzzi and sauna and then have a long shower alone and perhaps a coffee. It was the thing that kept my sanity and recommended if funds allow. I occasionally went for a swim but not once to the gym 😁

Aaannnd DS is awake. DH looks at me like "now what?"

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.

I'm nodding along to so much of this, but what scares me now, with teens, is what do I do when they leave home?

I've never had babysitters or help and have never known what to do when I finally get time to myself and having nothing but time to myself terrifies me

crazy.

Celia?
Why the need to shorten a name? Imogen can be Imogen, surely?

when I was a child in the 80's in Australia, parenting was different. Parents weren't looked as permanent entertainment for kids, nor were all activities, holidays and time devoted to what kids want.

^Yes, this, absolutely. Im one of 6 and we were mostly left to our own devices, and walloped if we got out of hand. Not that I'm advocating walloping, but nobody ever kicked my mother in the tits, put it that way.

Also the pressure nowadays to be everything to your kids is immense.
I don't actually mind playing, I am good at it, but I'm shit at a lot of the other stuff (dentists apps and homework being two of many ).
It seems that in the popular perception Motherhood has become a combination of several skilled professions. You are supposed to be an educator, a nutritionist, a clown, a nurse, a saint, a maid, a housekeeper, a psychologist. It's too much.
I don't hate being a mother, possibly because I don't try that hard tbh ( i know my limitations and if I have to tell my dc to shut the fuck up I don't even feel all that feel guilty) but I can relate to why so many do, and I think it's absolutely valid.
And I do mean motherhood, not parenthood.
I don't agree with Pacific that men haven't been sold on "having it all". They don't need to be, they (most of them) CAN have it all.
And if they don't quite measure up to perfection as a father, well, they work damn hard and they are doing well at work, soo....

I agree with a pp, if the father of your dc is not easing your burden, ltb and enjoy every other weekend off.

Another one here yes to introversion, perfectionism and a dose of anxiety. Plus a tough history of m/c and ectopic on the way to getting my 2 dc.

Ah, but if fathers are working hard and successful, therefore being 'good providers' and that is all they do and all society expects them to do, then they are NOT 'having it all'. They are not having all the joy of parenthood and they are certainly not having all the shit of parenthood.
But that's ok, because if they are doing anything beyond 'working hard', they are 'amazing fathers'

We have 4 boys.
I am on my own with them far more often than DH is.
When he is out and about with them, he gets loads of comments about how 'marvellous' and 'wonderful' and 'good' he is being.
When I am out and about with them, well, it just IS. And if their behaviour is not up to scratch, clearly it's because I am a shit mum...

Tonight I read half a page of Roald Dahl's The Witches to DS3 and DS4. While they were trying to fight over the duvet (we were in our bed) while also attempting to kick each other - with me in the middle. So I stopped reading. They were in bed and lights out before their usual bed time.
It's been a long day.

even if you are not trying to have it all (I think thats a media thing brought in to sound snappy), its still bloody hard work.