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Penetration man

1000 replies

Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 20:44

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

OP posts:
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7
IveShaggedSomeMingers · 30/07/2021 08:41

He kissed the dog's head and then leant over to kiss me

Brainwave89 · 30/07/2021 09:06

Hmmm. Peeled his pants off slowly with his back to me to reveal his arse.... unfortunately he had a length of white toilet paper dangling out of it clearly following a recent visit. I do not think the relationship ever quite recovered.

LouLou789 · 30/07/2021 09:10

When I was 16 I binned a guy when I found out he had an allotment. I thought it was middle-aged. Nowadays it would be a plus!

Talking of things whispered in your ear, another chap bit the dust when he whispered “Luscious thighs!” 🤣

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2021 09:21

I went on a date with a lovely guy, I refused a 2nd date because he was fatter than in his pictures, I feel kind of stupid about it now as he was probably the nicest guy and ticked all my boxes other than his size. I have dated larger men but for some reason I’m more attracted to skinny men (does that make me vein?). Maybe I’m single for a reason? 🤣.

Also dated a guy that was very noisy in bed 😬

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2021 09:22

Oh, and I dated a guy who had sausage fingers 😬, I didn’t wand a 2nd date,

emmathedilemma · 30/07/2021 09:27

Bad shoes. Went on a walk round a country park for a first date and he was wearing black leather work shoes.
(also didn't fancy him in the slightest but the shoes were a mega turn off!)

Ivyiris · 30/07/2021 09:57

Animal like noises during sex 🤣 put me off big time.

Ivyiris · 30/07/2021 09:58

@Brainwave89 that made me spit my coffee out laughing 🤣🤣

Candydreamer · 30/07/2021 10:15

he got mad that I didnt believe the earth was flat and that the moon landing was a hoax. told me I was refusing to open my eyes.

yeah, that's a little toooo much crazy for me.

Ourlady · 30/07/2021 10:20

@NoCapes

Oh I have another one! A guy used to say "there you go" as he came, like it was a present for me Envy no thankyou
This is so funny 🤣
Bexxe · 30/07/2021 10:32

he used the word 'giggle' - instantly made me want to through up. What grown ass man says 'that made me giggle' BYEEEEE

listsandbudgets · 30/07/2021 10:32

Because although he was incredibly kind and intelligent a good cook and musician and never folded his underpants, he was obsessed with some weird branch of mathematics I never came to understand (Something strange to do with imaginary numbers and how they could be used to predict future economic trends I think) and thought it made good pillow talk - it didn't Grin

He did have a gorgeous accent though so I used to ignore the content and focus on the voice - but you can only do that so long when an incisive response seems to be required.

Blossomtoes · 30/07/2021 10:33

I had one who called me “poppet”. That didn’t last long.

bringincrazyback · 30/07/2021 10:38

Or the guy I met online who told me that he always got one of his fellow firefighters to ring him in the first 10 minutes of a first date saying they had a "shout". If he liked her, he'd be back within a couple of minutes saying it was a false alarm. He told me that he'd cancelled the call on this occasion and expected me to be flattered!

Ugh, I was subjected to a similar technique once. I didn't 'pass', but I couldn't bring myself to shed many tears about it as I didn't fancy him either.

My superficial deal-breaker was a guy who pronounced it 'clitORis'... you know that sound effect of a needle being dragged off a record? That was my libido that night. cringes at the memory (Also, who says 'clitoris' at all during the act itself? Guaranteed passion-killer.)

I didn't end the relationship over it, but in hindsight I should have done, he was an idiot. To be fair, I got my own back by asking him 'Is that your finger?' (and meaning it... he was my first and I was clueless.) Blush

mrshonda · 30/07/2021 10:48

A friend told me she went on a date with a junior doctor, and they ended up in bed. While they were doing the deed, he said to her ' Stop moving, you're putting me off'. She got straight out of bed, got dressed and left!

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/07/2021 11:06

When I was 16 decided to have a bath as foreplay with a guy on holiday. Pencil dick. I made my excuses and left immediately after.

Ons with a guy, who had to fold his clothes up neatly before getting into bed. Several short shags later and very little pleasure on my behalf. Something not worth repeating.

Very smelly Willy. Came back to parent’s house as I was home alone. On discovering the stench, I quickly feigned a migraine and drove him straight home without getting closer.

Got very drunk and snogged, let the guy I didn’t fancy at all get handy with me down there. Oh god, just avoided him after that.

Got very drunk and snogged, let the guy I didn’t fancy at all get handy with me down there. Oh god, just avoided him after that.

Got drunk and snogged, this time I learned not to let it go further and avoided him after that Blush.

I didn’t realise micro penises were that small. The largest was a guy, who couldn’t finish. He was deffo porn star big and I expect he played with himself far too much. An hour and a half of pumping . Funnily enough when I next saw him and he proposed to go back to his for anal, I declined. The smallest was maybe 3 inches…

Depechemodebiggestfan · 30/07/2021 11:10

I went on a date with a guy who was so much still in love with his ex.
On the date we sat in the coffee shop window and she was passing the shop so she could see him with me and became jealous.
He told me this later on, when we were leaving - I did not know at that time.
He also spent the whole hour talking about her, how amazing she is blablabla.

In the mid 90s I went on a date with a boy ( I was 20 yrs old and he was 18)
He was apparently always in love with me since he was 15 years old but I was with someone else during the time.
As soon me and my Ex split up, this Boy asked me out.
He was so nice and polite and also gorgeous looking, we walked around the town, nice summer evening.
Anyway when he walked me home, outside my front door he became mad.
He took my hand and took his cock out and asked me to stroke him very slowly, whispering about how he dreamt about me the last 3 years every single night!
I was absolutely disgusted and horrified and just walked off.
I did not see him since!

Treezan82 · 30/07/2021 11:18

@Christine88

He wouldn't let me eat McDonald's because of the amount of paper they waste...or something I wasn't listening I just heard no McDonald's and I was done...
I feel like we are the same person.
AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 11:24

@Brainwave89

Hmmm. Peeled his pants off slowly with his back to me to reveal his arse.... unfortunately he had a length of white toilet paper dangling out of it clearly following a recent visit. I do not think the relationship ever quite recovered.
Bah ha ha ha ha! Grin

I don't know which emoji is more appropriate. This > 😂 This > 🤢 or... This > 😲

I can find the right word though!

GRIM!

SofiaMichelle · 30/07/2021 11:45

Another MN thread dug up from the annals of history for no discernible reason.

Confused
DianeCherry · 30/07/2021 11:45

His idea of kissing was to just open his mouth. That was it.
He fell asleep during sex and thought it was ok to just carry on when he woke up
Dripped sweat on my during sex
Thought foreplay was a couple of jabs with his finger
Would try to squash in a semi hard dick when going again
Thought I'd like being humped for 20 - 30 mins at a time

Yuck.

Blossomtoes · 30/07/2021 12:03

@SofiaMichelle

Another MN thread dug up from the annals of history for no discernible reason.

Confused

Except for amusement. Or is entertainment not allowed? At least there aren’t posters giving advice for sorting out the sleep patterns of a toddler who’s about to start secondary school.
AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 12:04

@SofiaMichelle

Another MN thread dug up from the annals of history for no discernible reason.

Confused

This is a really good thread though... Wink

And you don't have to open it/post on it if you're not interested in it. Confused

AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 12:05

I never understand why people post on a thread to say they're not interested in it. So weird. Confused Just skim past it.

AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 12:05

I finished with 2 blokes when I was 17-18 ish. For what some may class as a trivial reason.

The first one, I had been dating for about 2 to 2.5 months. (I was 18, he was 20.) I was getting a bit fed up of him anyway, as he was flaky. Stood me up several times, when we arranged to meet in the pub, sometimes met me in a dark mood, (hardly speaking to me and spending more time on the pinball machine,) and also had occasions where he would walk off and leave me for 20 to 30 minutes (when we were in a nightclub,) to chat to his mates. And no, even to this day I don't know why I tolerated it.

Anyway, so he came to my house to get me so we could walk to the pub together, and I said I am nearly ready, I'll be five minutes. He rolled his eyes and sighed, and sat down. I was playing 1950s music on the record player.. (this was the late 1980s,) and he said 'turn that shit off.'

I said 'but why? It's good music.' 'TURN IT OFF' he demanded! With a face like this > Angry I said 'no.' He said 'if you don't, I'm leaving, and we're done. You're dumped if you don't turn that fucking shit off.' I turned it up and said 'see ya then.' He stormed out. I felt such a surge of relief go through me. I'd got rid, after 2 and a half months

About a week later, he rang (my mum answered) and he asked for me, and said 'what time does she want me to come pick her up to go to the fifteen bells?' (this was the pub...) Fucking cheeky bastard. Hmm I had told my mum everything and how relieved I was to be free of him. She told him to piss off and slammed the phone down on him.

Never heard from him again. Result!

The second one was when I was 17, and I had lost 2.5 stone after being a bit of a chubby girl in my early teens. I dropped from 12 stone to 9 and a half stone. (I am 5 ft 5.) I felt great, I looked better, and loads of people said that I looked so much better, and I felt more confident.

I had been dating this lad (aged 18,) for about 4-5 weeks, and we sat together on the couch in our dining room, and he squeezed me around the waist, and said' got a little bit of flab there.. YOU can pinch more than an inch eh?' with a stupid grin on his face.

I felt myself go flame red in the face with embarrassment and rage. I stood up and said 'get out!' He looked gobsmacked, and said 'whaaaa?' I said 'I have spent a YEAR losing 2 and a half stone, and I am proud of what I've done. I don't need someone in my life, who is telling me I am still fucking fat!' Angry He said 'oooh you're a bit touchy.'

I SHOVED him out of the house, and refused to take any of his calls, or ever come to the door to him again. He tried for about a MONTH to get me to go back with him, but I refused. Again, I wasn't mad keen on him anyway, so it was a good excuse to dump him.

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