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Original poster

Penetration man

1000 replies

Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 20:44

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

OP posts:
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7
Polliver · 30/08/2017 19:46

Also, tiny, tiny (TINY) penis and very skinny, so his hip bones jutted out. When we shagged the main sensation was bruising on my inner thighs from his pelvis, and really not much else

amammabear · 05/12/2017 19:51

Sorry to resurrect a real old thread, but this always makes me laugh so much...

I've had a new relationship since I last looked at this thread, and I'm amazed by how many of the things people on here have said they hate, that I've discovered I actually love...! I must have really weird tastes... Lol

So anyone got any news ones to add?

lurkingnotlurking · 09/12/2017 16:49

Nothing to add but I am wondering if I should start to make a bit of noise during sex Grin

Pandoraphile · 11/12/2017 10:25

"Couldn't feel it, let alone love it." Crying

Pandoraphile · 11/12/2017 10:31

Just to add - I once went to bed with a guy I had really fancied from afar for many years.

He went straight to sleep.

He was an aspiring stand up comic and in the morning the first thing he did was get out his phone and show me endless clips of him doing his routine. It literally went on for at least two hours.

When we finally did get around to shagging, he was silent, just pushed his cock in and out, in and out, in and out.....with that much energy. Then he asked if he could "fuck" me from behind. Sure, says I, wondering why he felt the need to pose it as a serious question. He then got out of bed and walked around it to where I was lying. Sexy, intimate, passionate it was not.

He was very keen to meet up again and utterly confused as to why I politely refused.

user1471506482 · 11/12/2017 13:13

I've had several pencil dicks, so much so that I'm starting to get paranoid it's actually me when I can't feel them Confused.

I finished a guy who cooked his hamster it's own Christmas dinner.

Then there was the guy who giggled like a little girl every time he came.

I should give up dating really!

user1471506482 · 11/12/2017 13:15

Oh also a couple of silent ones, and one Ameircan guy who was so over the top. "Oh yeah, suck my cock" in his accent every 5 seconds Grin

lurkingnotlurking · 11/12/2017 13:40

Cooked a hamster its own Christmas dinner!

anthonyfantano · 12/12/2017 00:11

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amammabear · 12/12/2017 11:46

I totally read that as cooked a hamster FOR Christmas dinner!!!

Grin
leftmyheartintokyo · 13/12/2017 18:24

Soon to be dumped boyfriend has a vegetable fetish... he fantasises about putting a carrot in each hole Hmm

Surprisingly I have name changed for this!

lurkingnotlurking · 13/12/2017 19:18

Tell him to put them up his nostrils, ears and arse first

overnightangel · 22/12/2017 10:04

Howling at a hamster tucking into his own little Christmas dinner!

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 04:42

Honestly?

His dick was a very peculiar shape and just didn't hit the spot.

GrooovyLass · 27/12/2017 19:48

One used to blow-dry his chest hair.

One used to piss the bed and then once threw up on me.

One ons (who I'd fancied for ages and would have liked to have been more than a ons except for this) thought that French kissing me meant jackhammering his tongue in and out of my mouth.

One told me he could only come with penetrative sex, was physically unable to come from a handjob or a bj. Came when I was giving him a handjob and got really angry with me!

And another two here who thanked me after sex. Made me wonder had they only had prostitutes before me?!

amammabear · 29/12/2017 15:41

Blow dry his chest hair?! That's hilarious!

GrooovyLass · 29/12/2017 18:19

Yeah, that's the one that got me pregnant!

ScarfAndGlassesgirl · 30/12/2017 20:45

Going back a few years but one of my first boyfriends... Thought it was appropriate to do ROTTEN farts in the car and tell me he had the shits...

Once we were sitting in his PARENTS CONSERVATORY and he had prearranged for his cd player to come on and it was playing Marvin gaye (is that the right spelling) I laughed and said what's this all about! He looked like I slapped him... I made my excuses and left... He thought it was romantic...I thought were in a glass room in the middle of the day...
I ended it then poor lad

TinyTimsCrutch · 01/01/2018 11:33

I dumped someone because he wore chenille jumpers tucked into his belt and with the sleeves pushed up!

BattleCuntGalactica · 01/01/2018 11:43

@TinyTimsCrutch oh god that sounds like Chandler from friends LOL

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/01/2018 18:31

At the point of (his) orgasm he shouted out "yabadabadooo"

Enirroc · 20/01/2018 01:07

Brilliant

CeciledeVolanges · 26/01/2018 17:43

I always used to say thank you afterwards Confused shouldn't one?

MaisieDuke · 27/01/2018 18:16

Notmyrealname85
I know this is an old thread. But I just spat my drink out laughing at your post.
One of the funniest things I have ever read on hereGrin

Enirroc · 27/01/2018 19:07

I love it when this thread reappears

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