Penetration man

[Cameron2012]

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

I had a brief fling with a drum'n'bass MC who had looked really sexy on stage but who IRL was a bit odd. He made a really bizarre squeaking noise when he came and after sex whispered "you're beautiful" in my ear which I found unforgivably cheesy.

I ditched him and a week or two later he tried to win me back by texting me a "romantic" rap - something along the lines of 'sweet princess, you're the best, got a beautiful face and a nice pair of breasts, wanna kiss you from your toes up to your chest'.

Needless to say I changed my number.

banging his own arse with a carrot

Arf Queen either type is fine depends on the variety

I consider myself open minded and fairly adventurous in the bedroom department. However, I found my limit with Gary (name changed) the hardened rugged no-nonsense pub landlord who raced motorbikes in his spare time. Couldn't get a more blokey-bloke thought I. Until five weeks into our relationship when we started opening up about sexual preferences/fantasies etc. Turned out the very masculine hard-as-nails Gary had a very strong fetish for dressing and being treated as...a baby FFS! Once he'd "confessed" this deep secret, he couldn't let it go, even though I clearly wasn't up for getting involved with it. I would open emails during the day to find Ebay links to gigantic rubber pants, babygros and comedy size bonnets 😳 When he begged me to dress him in a massive pair of ruffled panties - the sort baby girls used to wear over their rubber pants/nappies - I had to make my excuses and leave.

Once he'd "confessed" this deep secret, he couldn't let it go, even though I clearly wasn't up for getting involved with it
for me it's not so much the fetish that's the real problem here, it's the behaving as if you are obliged to indulge him in it
I mean what's in it for you, why would you want to even bother with it all

maybe part of the payoff for him is the coercion, the confession is designed to make you feel a deeper level of connection and intimacy with him, which then allows him to coerce you into serving his needs.

The surprise of finding this seemingly effete fetish in a masculine man just throws you of the scent because essentially it's about him being in control and his needs being paramount

Having just RTFT, I now am singing "PeneTRATION MAN" to the tune of Secret Agent Man!

1. I was seeing a bloke just after university when we were still living in shared accommodation. He had dandruff and eczema and the bed was covered in flakes of dandruff. If he had had light coloured sheets I probably wouldn't have noticed but they were dark purple bedding so everything showed up

2. Bloke with teeny tiny penis ('is it in?' sized). No more than 2 inches hard and probably smaller. He also couldn't get hard (he blamed this on his epilepsy meds - this may or may not be true). He seemed to like biting me and I had to tell him to stop. He also never brushed his teeth when we were meeting up and they were thick with vile yellow plaque

3. University boyfriend many years before social media, camera phones or even mobile phones. Met when we were both still virgins. No idea why but he was known as 'Whale'. Admitted he was bisexual and asked me to stick my finger in his bum. I wouldn't have had a clue what a prostate was so innocent so didn't know I was supposed to aim for anything! He seemed 'disappointed' but didn't give me any feedback! There was a uni event called 'Pyjama Jump' when the girls dressed in boys' pyjamas and the boys in women's underwear/nighties (for Rag). He borrowed a negligee of mine, which was fine. But I really wasn't expecting him to shave his legs and armpits too!

About a year after we broke up someone in the students' union was looking at me in an 'I recognise you but I'm not sure why kind of way'. Then he suddenly said, 'Oh yes, you must be Whale's girlfriend. I said, 'Erm no not for about a year now'. Apparently he STILL had my photo up in his room and told everyone we were a couple, even though I never appeared in person. Everyone was pretty sure he was actually properly gay, not bi, and I was his beard. I was the last woman he ever dated so I think I put him off women for life!

So these days I am very happy being single!

Shiningexample that was a very insightful post. Think you are correct in that his "confession" did indeed create a false intimacy which made me feel obligated to do his bidding, as it were. Fortunately that feeling of obligation was very short lived dumped him the next day 😂

glad to hear that you broke free asap Happenstance, I'd not really given such things much specific thought, it just sort of came to me as I was reading your post

I was 27 and casually dating a 22 year old. Had to stop seeing him when one night I suggested we go to a certain bar and he said "I can't, it's over-25s night."

Was seeing a guy for a couple of months. He kindly offered a to pick me and my friend up from an airport after our holiday. He knew what time we were landing. Got there and can't find him. Keep ringing but no answer. Eventually he picks up and he was fast asleep (middle of the day). Says "oh yeah, okay, I'll come and get you. But I just need to wash my hair first."

The airport was an hour drive from his house and he had really long rocker type hair too

Literally waited for hours when he eventually turned up and strolled up like what he had done was completely normal. We were shattered and just wanted to get home! Would have got a cab if we'd known

I also had to give him a fiver for petrol on our first date and always ended up buying his cigarettes too (I didn't smoke). He never had any money (but worked and lived at home still!). And he used to drive like an arsehole as well really fast and practically touching the bumper in front.

Honestly, I shock myself that I even stayed with him that long!

Oh god this thread is horrifying.

I have had 2 serious relationships over the past 10 years and am now single (and pregnant). This thread has me convinced I will never meet anyone I like again!! They all sound like freaks.

Squtternutbosch (and whoever else is feeling a bit hopeless after reading this)

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

So basically, there's someone for everyone and one woman's penetration man is another woman's penetration man

Don't lose hope

I had a giggle today when buying carrots. Amazing thread.

OMG ladies i have been reading through , well after wiping the tears from my eyes. I have been dating for about 2 years now. I have had 32 dates. YEP 32 and still not found anyone decent haha. One guy i saw for a week.And it Was going fantastic. He made me laugh, we went out 4 times in that week, bowling, meals , cinema. He had a great body . Good looking etc etc. Oh yeah kept telling me he was great in the sack

Well i thought to myself i have cracked it Woohoo. UNTIL the night we went to bed. As we all know the first time with someone can be a bit hit and miss. BUT OMG i thought i was in a porn movie. He kept talking to me, asking me what he should do, I was really put off by this. Come on NOT on the first time. And there was me thinking , This guy knows what hes doing. HOW wrong was i . Let me just say he was not as amazing as he made out, good size and all that but he was all talk and NO action. Needless to say he went on my deleted list, shame because he was not a bad guy.

I had an experience the same as another poster. Picture a romantic weekend, nice hotel room, laid on the bed and things are just getting going when he utters those beautiful words "Shit the bed!". I should have know it was a sign of how bad the relationship would be!

Ex was a slobbery kisser who always tasted a bit like cabbage he also had a little piece of fabric that he cuddled in bed since childhood, still cuddling it at 19

He was good looking and into the same fetish as me, but when I snogged him he tasted of beef Monster Munch. The next time I saw him, he was asleep in the corner of a pub.

Just found this. I have a few to add.

Guy who used to have a hairy chest but it went quite far up, near his neck and it was quite long. No matter what clothes he had on, I noticed he used to get a bit of it and twiddle it between his fingers over and over.... it was so distracting. I just wanted to shave it all off. Dumped

A guy who had green toe nails. Retch thinking about them. Dumped

When I was about 17 I met a lad and gave him my phone number. He called me and we went for some chips and back to his house (middle of day) where he whipped his dick out in my face and I swear he cannot have washed that thing for months, it stank of cheese and had all cheesy lumps in the helmet area. I ran away crying!

Pencil dicks are awful Unfortunately

I've also had some dreadful dates with no sex. Man who had a ferret in his car. One who tried to psychoanalyse me because he had done 6 weeks of an OU course.

Oh so many fatal flaws:

One who kept saying 'I want to get you pregnant', every time we had sex

One who couldn't had even a short conversation without lots of hesitation and arm waving

One who claimed to be 5'7" on POF but was shorter than my 5'5" when he turned up. I could have handled the height (maybe) but not the lying about it

One who wore rubber trousers in public

And the latest one, who kept saying 'Who's the Daddy?' during sex, even though he was 14 years my junior. There's a reason I'm single...

Oh! How could I forget the one who shaved off every hair on his body from the neck down? Every inch of my body had stubble rash!

My first boyfriend used to say "ka'ching" and do a fist bump after sex. I was 16 (he was 20) and we had sex 3 times a day every time I saw him, so it was a lot of "ka'ching". Thankfully it was a short lived phase, and I stayed with him for 4 years :P

Once had a blind date, and the guy just came up to me and grabbed my errr delicate parts under my short dress! Wtf!

Another time I decided to share a hotel room with a guy I'd talked to online for a year. I was taking medication at the time, which completely knocked me out. He tried to finger me whilst I was asleep (I had no idea, I didn't notice it at all), and then told me about it after I left to go home. He came from New Castle to London for this! Again, wtf!

Ah needless to say, the two latter guys never heard back from me